Help picking up a guy at the gym


  • Mar 31, 2010 1:28 AM GMT
    Hey Guys,
    So I have an ENORMOUS crush on this guy at my gym. I mean seriously huge crush!! The only problem is I 1. don't know if the guy is gay, 2. have never talked to the guy, 3. the guy completely keeps to himself and never smiles, 4. has an iPod on all the time. I desperately want to talk to him, but his body language says "don't bother me while I'm lifting." The guy is also about an inch or two taller than me and has a good 20lbs on me. I'm afraid to talk to him and have it go bad. So I wanted to know if any of you had any tips on how to get someone like this to know that I'm interested in talking to him without coming off as creepy. I'd also just like to say that my gym is NYSC on 91st and 3rd in NYC, for those of you who live in NYC I think most of us could agree that the Upper East Side is known for being fratboy central and generally straight, hence adding to my hesitation to approach this guy. If I was in chelsea I think I would have approached this guy long ago. So if anyone has had success in the past with this type of situation I'm all ears.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 31, 2010 6:26 AM GMT
    Wait 'till he notices you and starts the conversation.

    If he's interested, you'll know.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 31, 2010 8:10 AM GMT
    here are two key elements you've mentioned..

    "The guy completely keeps to himself and never smiles"

    and

    "has an iPod on all the time"

    He's not there to socialise, he's there to workout, leave him alone.
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    Mar 31, 2010 6:32 PM GMT
    lilTanker saidhere are two key elements you've mentioned..

    "The guy completely keeps to himself and never smiles"

    and

    "has an iPod on all the time"

    He's not there to socialise, he's there to workout, leave him alone.



    Hmmm this sounds like me at the gym but yet I still wouldn't mind if some attractive guy came over and said hi to me at the gym.

    So...Addictedtothegym, why not go for it? What's the worst that could happen, he says he's not gay...big deal.

    If you've seen him working out awhle now try going up to him and saying "man I've noticed you a few times now and you're looking bigger. can to share any training tips?" That's not asking for a date but at least you could talk to him enough to get a feel for if he's interested, or gay.

    We've all had gym crushes. It helps make working out fun.

    Good luck!

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    Mar 31, 2010 6:40 PM GMT
    Since he seems pretty serious in his workout, the only way I would attempt approaching him is with a workout question. If you see him doing an exercise and can think up a seeming valid question, approach him with that. He prolly wont mind sharing his workout knowledge and from that you might be able to get him to notice you in the future....and so forth.
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    Mar 31, 2010 6:41 PM GMT
    BILLY_1980 said

    Hmmm this sounds like me at the gym but yet I still wouldn't mind if some attractive guy came over and said hi to me at the gym.



    Exactly.

    I go to work out and nothing more, don't waste time chatting, BUT would love it if an attractive guy approached me.
  • Daniepwils

    Posts: 151

    Mar 31, 2010 7:58 PM GMT
    lilTanker saidhere are two key elements you've mentioned..

    "The guy completely keeps to himself and never smiles"

    and

    "has an iPod on all the time"

    He's not there to socialise, he's there to workout, leave him alone.


    While I agree, and I did this for years. I found my current bf at the gym even though he thought i was straight because I never looked at him or any other guy at the gym, I was just there to workout. But one day it just happened icon_smile.gif

    <3 Matt

  • Mar 31, 2010 11:56 PM GMT
    Have you considered asking him to spot you during one of our routine. If he is seem friendly and open, offer to give him a spot if he needed. Hopefully, you can use this interaction to say "hi" and move on the next time and until he looks more ready to say more than "hi" There is also a good chance that he is shy or focus. Lastly, don't say creepy stuff like "can I feel your guns...." Good luck and let us know how you land you new BF. icon_biggrin.gif

  • Apr 01, 2010 10:36 PM GMT
    Thanks for the tips guys! I've definitely thought about the asking for a spot thing many times, the only problem is the guy always uses the machines and rarely uses free weights, so its hard to ask someone if they need a spot or if I can get a spot if they aren't in close promixity to you. I've been trying to test the waters all week by working out a little closer to him, but I can't say that I feel like he is responding that well to me. Based on exterior sterotypes alone I'd peg him as straight, but I was really just hoping for once in my life I wouldn't have a hopeless crush on another straight guy. icon_sad.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 01, 2010 10:39 PM GMT
    drop the soap bar in front of him in the showers.....lolz
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 01, 2010 10:42 PM GMT
    oh and dont stalk......fastest way to get me calling u bitch and other names at the gym is if i catch u stalkin my ass.......u know none of them "coincidences" when u happen to finish workout when i finish so u can come see me get naked on the locker room everyday.....

    im an asshole n ill call u out on it (i have done it before)......he might too......lolzicon_lol.gif

    just be cool......icon_cool.gif
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    Apr 01, 2010 10:46 PM GMT
    Addictedtothegym saidBased on exterior sterotypes alone I'd peg him as straight, but I was really just hoping for once in my life I wouldn't have a hopeless crush on another straight guy. icon_sad.gif


    Don't be too down about it. It happens to us all...
  • Fitcal

    Posts: 4

    Apr 01, 2010 10:46 PM GMT
    viveutvivas said
    BILLY_1980 said

    Hmmm this sounds like me at the gym but yet I still wouldn't mind if some attractive guy came over and said hi to me at the gym.



    Exactly.

    I go to work out and nothing more, don't waste time chatting, BUT would love it if an attractive guy approached me.


    You could always ask him to spot you and then see if you could get him to talk.
  • jock_1

    Posts: 1491

    Apr 01, 2010 10:49 PM GMT
    alot of the conversations i have made with guys at the gym are usually about sports or if they have a workout shirt with a team or school name on them, or if i see them doing a workout a different way than i do it. it is easy to start a convo that way. Or, if he is using the machines, ask if you can work in with him between his sets...that is assuming you can do the same weight without looking like a dork. if he is cool about it he wont have a problem with that at all....its common curtiousy. leave it at that and see what happens. then just say hey the next time you are at the gym at the same time

    see what happens
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 01, 2010 10:52 PM GMT
    jock_1 saidalot of the conversations i have made with guys at the gym are usually about sports or if they have a workout shirt with a team or school name on them, or if i see them doing a workout a different way than i do it. it is easy to start a convo that way. Or, if he is using the machines, ask if you can work in with him between his sets...that is assuming you can do the same weight without looking like a dork. if he is cool about it he wont have a problem with that at all....its common curtiousy. leave it at that and see ehat happens. then just say hey the next time you are at the gym at the same time

    see what happens


    ^ this
    daz a better way to do it that is NOT creepy or stalkery

    i was gon say scratch the part where the dude said u can ask if u can work in between.....but then he came back and gave u an exception (only if u can do the same weight).....so hes ok.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 02, 2010 12:00 AM GMT
    It doesn't have to be all or nothing. If he's constantly focused in his own world with an. ipod stuck in his ears you can always catch a glance and wave. Simple gestures can lead to more over the long-run.

    On the other hand if you happen to run in the same circle outside of the gym, this would be the most opportune time to strike up a conversation.
  • BronxvilleNY3...

    Posts: 101

    Apr 02, 2010 12:38 AM GMT
    The spot you idea never fails, so you will have the opportunity to say hi in the future!
    Remember you are a MAN, you WANT something, you have the BALLS, GO for it!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 02, 2010 12:42 AM GMT
    I know a completely fool proof way to get a gym in the gym...

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    Apr 02, 2010 5:13 AM GMT
    If you have the same iPod, ask for help figuring out something on it. If he has cool headphones ask him about it. Even if he's straight, straight dudes like talking about their gadgets to strangers. You won't bug him much if that's the case.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 02, 2010 8:26 AM GMT
    I never pull at the gym because I don't want a poisonous atmosphere there.

    Don't ___ where you eat.
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    Apr 02, 2010 9:42 AM GMT
    Addictedtothegym saidHey Guys,
    So I have an ENORMOUS crush on this guy at my gym. I mean seriously huge crush!! The only problem is I 1. don't know if the guy is gay, 2. have never talked to the guy, 3. the guy completely keeps to himself and never smiles, 4. has an iPod on all the time. I desperately want to talk to him, but his body language says "don't bother me while I'm lifting." The guy is also about an inch or two taller than me and has a good 20lbs on me. I'm afraid to talk to him and have it go bad. So I wanted to know if any of you had any tips on how to get someone like this to know that I'm interested in talking to him without coming off as creepy. I'd also just like to say that my gym is NYSC on 91st and 3rd in NYC, for those of you who live in NYC I think most of us could agree that the Upper East Side is known for being fratboy central and generally straight, hence adding to my hesitation to approach this guy. If I was in chelsea I think I would have approached this guy long ago. So if anyone has had success in the past with this type of situation I'm all ears.


    "Haven't I seen you at (insert name of nearest gay bar)?"
  • CarbGoggles

    Posts: 705

    Apr 02, 2010 9:53 AM GMT
    BILLY_1980 said
    lilTanker saidhere are two key elements you've mentioned..

    "The guy completely keeps to himself and never smiles"

    and

    "has an iPod on all the time"

    He's not there to socialise, he's there to workout, leave him alone.



    Hmmm this sounds like me at the gym but yet I still wouldn't mind if some attractive guy came over and said hi to me at the gym.

    So...Addictedtothegym, why not go for it? What's the worst that could happen, he says he's not gay...big deal.

    If you've seen him working out awhle now try going up to him and saying "man I've noticed you a few times now and you're looking bigger. can to share any training tips?" That's not asking for a date but at least you could talk to him enough to get a feel for if he's interested, or gay.

    We've all had gym crushes. It helps make working out fun.

    Good luck!



    I think that's a good ice breaker. However, the worst that could happen is the dude turns out to be some kind of psycho homophobe who turns violent/ hostile...
  • CarbGoggles

    Posts: 705

    Apr 02, 2010 9:54 AM GMT
    shyshortguy saidI never pull at the gym because I don't want a poisonous atmosphere there.

    Don't ___ where you eat.

    I agree 100%
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 02, 2010 9:39 PM GMT
    MsclDrew saidI know a completely fool proof way to get a gym in the gym...



    FANTASTIC!!!!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 02, 2010 10:05 PM GMT
    If you talk to him, don't linger. I generally dislike anybody talking to me at the gym, but especially hate when they talk to me for more than 10 seconds. >_<

    I also tend to think earphones = I don't want to spot you so don't ask.



    ...Bend and snap really seems like the way to go.