PONDERISMS.......

  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Apr 01, 2010 10:56 PM GMT
    monica.jpg

    I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.

    Garden Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.

    The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

    Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
  • EricLA

    Posts: 3461

    Apr 02, 2010 2:11 AM GMT
    Overwhelming. Is there such a thing as just "whelming"?
  • CincyBOJ

    Posts: 306

    Apr 02, 2010 4:56 AM GMT
    EricLA saidOverwhelming. Is there such a thing as just "whelming"?
    +

    hehehhehehehe.icon_lol.gif
  • Laurence

    Posts: 942

    Apr 02, 2010 5:08 AM GMT
    Why do we move the clocks forward and backwards an hour in Spring and Autumn. It's annoying and serves very little purpose.
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    Apr 02, 2010 5:12 AM GMT
    How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

    Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

    Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

    Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your ass?

    If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

    Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

    Can you cry under water?

    How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
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    Apr 02, 2010 5:15 AM GMT
    Why is it we're more likely to talk to someone half a world away via internet or texting than to the person sitting right next to us?
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    Apr 02, 2010 5:34 AM GMT
    This was hanging on the wall at "Dante's Down the Hatch" in Atlanta:

    PERSISTENCE:

    Goals cannot be achieved with talent, genius, or education alone, peristence is the key.

    Nothing is more common than unsuccessful men of talent.

    Unrewarded genius is almost a proverb, and

    The world is full of educated derelicts. (<--- My personal fave :-P)

    "...persistence is tenacity with maturity"

    "... If you move ahead with persistence because you like what you are doing, wealth of some sort usually follows."

    I now have a copy of this hanging on my cubicle wall to keep me going during my grad school woes. LOL!
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    Apr 02, 2010 5:34 AM GMT
    Why is the pillow grotesquely uncomfortable all night until five minutes before the sun comes up, at which time, whatever position you're in is the most comfortable ever attained?
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    Apr 02, 2010 5:38 AM GMT
    1.. My partner and I separated over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't

    2.. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

    3.. I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend on Me!

    4.. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.

    5.. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

    6.. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

    7. God must love stupid people; He made so many.

    8.. Procrastinate Now!

    9.. STUPIDITY IS NOT A HANDICAP. Park elsewhere!

    10.. HAM AND EGGS - A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.
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    Apr 02, 2010 5:43 AM GMT
    How can there be self-help GROUPS?

    Why do tourists go to the top of tall buildings and then put money in telescopes so they can see things on the ground in close-up?

    What was the best thing before sliced bread?

    If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?

    Why do doctors call what they do practice?

    If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?

    When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?

    "If winners never quit and quitters never win then who came up with the saying 'quit while you're ahead'?

    Since buttered bread always lands on the butter-side down and a cat always lands on its feet, what happens if you strap buttered bread to a cat's back and drop it?

    Do fish get thirsty?
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    Apr 02, 2010 9:16 AM GMT
    Laurence saidWhy do we move the clocks forward and backwards an hour in Spring and Autumn. It's annoying and serves very little purpose.


    Move to Arizona, the only sane state :-)
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    Apr 02, 2010 11:40 AM GMT
    I see a whole line of bumper stickers in Caslon's future.

    What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money.
    Henny Youngman
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    Apr 02, 2010 5:34 PM GMT
    What is poop made up of? Why is it brown? Why do we not like looking at it?

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  • Thirdbeach

    Posts: 1364

    Apr 02, 2010 6:02 PM GMT
    What should you do when everyone tells you not to give in to peer pressure?
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    Apr 02, 2010 7:16 PM GMT

    Should we believe people when they tell us they're compulsive liars?

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