Came Out to a Guy Friend

  • ChilaxinJOCK0...

    Posts: 1513

    Apr 03, 2010 7:56 AM GMT
    i know to a lot of you guys its not a big deal at ALL and this forum is probably EXTREMELY lame/cheesy. But tonight was HUUGE thing for me

    I have come out to about 7 females in the past 5-6 months but tonight i decided to come out to a str8 guy friend for the first time. Ive been kinda stressed about how that might go down but i realized tonight that this guy is a cool dude and will probably always be my friend.

    Hes kind of that cocky asshole type of guy that leads up a frat but a talk we were havin in the car just made me bust out and tell him that i was gay.....i was a little suprised that he doesnt seem to care and we sat in his car and talked about it for about an hour. Im sure i'll be AWKWARD around him for a little while, but im so happy that he's cool with it and told me that I will always be a good friend of his. IM JUST SO RELIEVED RIGHT NOW

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    Apr 03, 2010 8:22 AM GMT
    good on ya. your mates a good sort. wait 'til you get the curious questions about blow jobs, dick size and him pointing out guys that you might like icon_biggrin.gif
  • Space_Cowboy_...

    Posts: 3738

    Apr 03, 2010 9:11 AM GMT
    That's awesome! when i finally told a guy friend of mine he stopped talking to me for a bit, but he came around, and when he came to visit me from Italy we drank some Dranks and we talked about it for a total of 5 min he's pretty closed to gays, jews, and other things but yeah I'm glad we're still best friends icon_razz.gif it was an awkward 5 min lol
  • Space_Cowboy_...

    Posts: 3738

    Apr 03, 2010 9:24 AM GMT
    And now I just tell people that I'm gay I no longer hide when I meet people. It a lot easier!!!!!
  • FriscoJansen

    Posts: 2552

    Apr 03, 2010 9:44 AM GMT
    That's awesome, ya know it just goes to show that the disconcerted gay youth of today going through these all too familiar struggles in life that things get better as you go...years of turmoil, growing up and feeling unaccepted in society, bubbling to the surface. You prevail, you learn to love & accept yourself for who you are and you want the world to know. As you did, you knew when the time was right. Congratulations, I'm sure it was a huge weight lifted off your shoulders. You've got great friends too.
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    Apr 03, 2010 9:47 AM GMT
    SWEET man, glad it all went well, I gotta get on it too haha. I feel like this year is a big year for me in terms of that whole coming out shit, but once again stoked for you icon_smile.gif
  • Mohannned

    Posts: 280

    Apr 03, 2010 12:32 PM GMT
    I'm so happy for u ...
    icon_wink.gif
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    Apr 03, 2010 12:49 PM GMT
    Good for you man! I know the first straight friend you tell is awkward. Hard parts over now! Besides the parents, everyone else you tell will be a piece of cake!

    Best of luck!
  • ChilaxinJOCK0...

    Posts: 1513

    Apr 03, 2010 1:05 PM GMT
    jim_e saidgood on ya. your mates a good sort. wait 'til you get the curious questions about blow jobs, dick size and him pointing out guys that you might like icon_biggrin.gif


    haha wow as awkward as that will probably be i hope he does say that stuff to me....it'll make it so much more relaxed. Im kinda stressed for some reason about hanging out with him tonight.

    I know some ppl say wen u come out u feel like weight is dropped from ur shoulders but in a way i feel like weight is now put on my shoulders for some reason. O WELL, time should heal that icon_smile.gif
  • FriscoJansen

    Posts: 2552

    Apr 03, 2010 1:13 PM GMT
    ChilaxinJOCK09 said

    I know some ppl say wen u come out u feel like weight is dropped from ur shoulders but in a way i feel like weight is now put on my shoulders for some reason. O WELL, time should heal that icon_smile.gif


    That feelings natural and expected, lol. The hard parts over.
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    Apr 03, 2010 1:18 PM GMT
    Good job! You're awkward now, but in 2 months, you won't be.

    I have a friend who is like the guy you described. We went to his sister's wedding in New Orleans 2 weeks ago. My boyfriend and I were going to a gay bar, and both he AND his father (both 100% straight) came out with us. And this ended up being a strip bar. Neither cared. Your friend might not ever do that, but I'm saying that the fact that he doesn't care is a good thing, and you'll prob have some friends who want to know about your gay life because they genuinely care about you.
  • ChilaxinJOCK0...

    Posts: 1513

    Apr 03, 2010 1:24 PM GMT
    TheIStrat saidGood job! You're awkward now, but in 2 months, you won't be.

    I have a friend who is like the guy you described. We went to his sister's wedding in New Orleans 2 weeks ago. My boyfriend and I were going to a gay bar, and both he AND his father (both 100% straight) came out with us. And this ended up being a strip bar. Neither cared. Your friend might not ever do that, but I'm saying that the fact that he doesn't care is a good thing, and you'll prob have some friends who want to know about your gay life because they genuinely care about you.


    haha wow thats AWESOME! Thanks for that post icon_smile.gif
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    Apr 03, 2010 1:36 PM GMT
    ChilaxinJOCK09 said Im sure i'll be AWKWARD around him for a little while, but im so happy that he's cool with it and told me that I will always be a good friend of his.

    You'd be surprised at just how many straight guys just don't care, and aren't awkward at all after finding out about someone's sexuality. A good friend of mine that I came out to responded with "Oh, so that's why you don't have a girlfriend. You're not a loser, you're gay." It was a very him response, and after that we just went on, and never awkwardness. I think we (as a generation) are very lucky that the vast majority of straight men just don't care about your sexuality.
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    Apr 03, 2010 1:40 PM GMT
    It is a big deal, Chillaxin... what you did was great. Very proud of ya!
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    Apr 03, 2010 1:42 PM GMT
    yo congrats on coming out to him, i remember just how tough of a moment that was for me. For me it was my best friend since high school, I was so stressed out that he'd either A: not be cool with it or B: be pissed off at me for hiding it from him.

    What i've realized is that the coming out process is so 'in your head' and in reality most people who love you will continue to love you, no matter what sexuality you are. The fear of being rejected because you're gay keeps a lot of people in the closet for longer than they should be, and its something that once you realize once you're on the other side.

    Best of luck with everything
  • jlly_rnchr

    Posts: 1759

    Apr 03, 2010 1:43 PM GMT
    This is great to hear! I'd like to clear the air with some of my buddies, and this is really encouraging.

    I was running this past Thursday with a good friend, just a casual jog. We hit the 3 mile mark and I was thinking I should just blurt it out. He was too tired to run away from me and too determined to just stop right there. I think that was a missed opportunity, cuz we were talking for a good hour. Oh well, next time.

    But great for you!
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    Apr 03, 2010 1:43 PM GMT
    Awesome job, dude! Congrats!! Glad it worked out well for you and thanks for sharing your experience.
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    Apr 03, 2010 1:50 PM GMT
    Congrats buddy. That's a step in the right direction for being open and honest with a bud. It's even a bonus that he didn't freak out on you. You might get lucky and your friend might be the type of person who care less of your sexual orientation and more about you as a person. If that is the case then he's a good friend indeed.
  • jrs1

    Posts: 4388

    Apr 03, 2010 1:59 PM GMT
    keep it up, you big goof. I'm proud of you, chiller.
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    Apr 03, 2010 2:04 PM GMT
    Hey Chill, Congrats on getting past that obstacle. I remember when i came out the first time to a str8 guy friend. Also in the car.... Guess that way they cant freak out while driving. Anyway, I dont know if i was more concerned about his reaction or getting the words out. In the end of course he was totally cool with it - and I think you close friends are always intuitive enough to not be surprised. It's not as if your friends would have never considered the possibility and i think we are so preoccupied with it that it is easy to fail to realize that.

    I'm glad it all went well for you Chill.

  • hikerC

    Posts: 170

    Apr 03, 2010 2:07 PM GMT
    Congratulations! I know exactly how you felt in the moments leading up to telling him, but I've never had the balls to say anything. Thanks for sharing your story, in a way you are giving me the kick in the ass I need to do the same thing! Good Luck and I hope it continues to go smoothly for you as you come out to more people! icon_biggrin.gif
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    Apr 03, 2010 3:11 PM GMT
    ChilaxinJOCK09 saidi know to a lot of you guys its not a big deal at ALL and this forum is probably EXTREMELY lame/cheesy. But tonight was HUUGE thing for me

    I have come out to about 7 females in the past 5-6 months but tonight i decided to come out to a str8 guy friend for the first time. Ive been kinda stressed about how that might go down but i realized tonight that this guy is a cool dude and will probably always be my friend.

    Hes kind of that cocky asshole type of guy that leads up a frat but a talk we were havin in the car just made me bust out and tell him that i was gay.....i was a little suprised that he doesnt seem to care and we sat in his car and talked about it for about an hour. Im sure i'll be AWKWARD around him for a little while, but im so happy that he's cool with it and told me that I will always be a good friend of his. IM JUST SO RELIEVED RIGHT NOW


    As you grow older, have more experience, and your brain matures, you'll understand that the biggest enemy is within. The boogey man is only real in your mind's eye.
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    Apr 03, 2010 4:11 PM GMT
    You should horseplay wrestle with your friend someday, like on the beach at night. Then wrap your legs around his waist and let him lean his back onto your chest, while you sleeper him. Then whisper in his ear, "Chillax man...."

    Wait, that's more of my fantasy for you. Bet he'd love it though. icon_wink.gif
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    Apr 03, 2010 4:15 PM GMT
    I just kind of blurted it out when I came out to one of my first buddies. "How about those Green Bay Packers? Oh, by the way I'm gay"--lol. Liquor didn't hurt at the time either.
    Good for you man! I'm happy for you. It will just make your life easier and shut off that seemingly endless loop in your mind. Someday you might be able to help someone else who has experienced the fear you did when you were closeted. Keep charging forward dude.
  • camfer

    Posts: 892

    Apr 03, 2010 4:31 PM GMT
    tboe101 saidI just kind of blurted it out when I came out to one of my first buddies. "How about those Green Bay Packers? Oh, by the way I'm gay"--lol. Liquor didn't hurt at the time either.

    It is probably not the best idea to talk about Packers and come out as gay in the next sentence. That can create unintended associations in str8 people's minds.