Are you shy?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 24, 2008 7:09 PM GMT
    Simple question. Are you a shy one? Do you make the first move or do you like others to approach you?

    I was just thinking about how many of us on this forum have a large HOT list vs a few people on our buddy list. Have you tried to talk to the people you hotlist or do you hotlist them and hope they will look at/talk to you first.

    I admit that I usually hope people will talk first cuz I tend to be a shy one hehe. Every now and then I will try to open up a diaolauge with someone, but usually I don't have a clue of what to say. icon_redface.gif
  • duglyduckling

    Posts: 279

    Jan 24, 2008 7:41 PM GMT
    shy... definitely shy.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 24, 2008 7:49 PM GMT
    Some may take me as shy at first, but really I consider myself just observant. I can talk to anyone about most anything.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 24, 2008 8:00 PM GMT
    SHY. Every now and then i will make the first move but i have always been shy and quiet. Im working on it though icon_wink.gif
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    Jan 24, 2008 8:03 PM GMT
    Pretty outgoing here but if I want to approach someone it takes me a long time to get up the nerve, but I usually do it....and usually I'm glad I did.
  • DiverScience

    Posts: 1426

    Jan 24, 2008 8:07 PM GMT
    Shy. Very shy. Which anyone who's known me for a while finds ridiculous.

    But yes, very shy. I don't almost ever approach people. Which means, I don't go on dates. It's something I'm working on, because if I don't put myself out there I'm never gonna meet someone.
  • mljk

    Posts: 9

    Jan 24, 2008 8:23 PM GMT
    I'm a talkative person who can discuss anything (have u read some of my posts - it's like reading a book, but hopefully not as boring, ha,ha). I'm also really outgoing and love to get to know interesting people. So in general socializing, I'm completely not shy.

    However, if I'm super attracted to someone I completely turn into this shy, dork who can barely spew out a coherent sentance or 2. This gets even more problematic because the person I'm attracted to usually thinks I'm a snob because he/she will observe me in the crowd being so outgoing to other people, but to him/her, I'm totally silent.

    What makes it even worst, is to get that person's attention (the one I really like), I end up doing all these strange 'showy' physical things, like at the gym, when I know the guy is around me, I'll do a handstand pushup or something, or I'll toss a light 5 pd weight (the disc, donut shape ones u put on a bar) over my shoulder and catch it behind my back one- handed. Usually though, something bad happens (like I'll drop the weight on my toes), and I end up embarressing myself in front of that person. It's embarressing as hell, but I'm usually the first one laughing at myself anywaysicon_biggrin.gif
  • Warren

    Posts: 99

    Jan 24, 2008 8:26 PM GMT
    depends on the situation, out in clubs, I'm super shy... I have been known to stand on the wall and stare at people surreptitiously. With my friends or in a smaller environment with people I sort of know, I can be outgoing. But in general, I'm pretty damn shy, until I know you and your personality, then I come out of my shell.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 24, 2008 8:29 PM GMT
    I'm extremely shy. I'm definitely not the pursuer type.
  • BlackJock79

    Posts: 437

    Jan 24, 2008 8:31 PM GMT
    I'm not shy, but I usually wait for the guy to make the first move. I just don't want to bother anyone that might not be into me. Now once we start talking and I get to know the person they will tell you that I am FAR from shy.
  • jarhead5536

    Posts: 1348

    Jan 24, 2008 8:33 PM GMT
    Although you wouldn't know it from the way I blab in these forums, I am quite shy. I can count on one hand the number of times in 25 years of manhunting that I have made the first move, and I remember each time.

    I can't even bring myself to email anyone here unless they contact me first. The fear of rejection is a powerful thing, isn't it?
  • imperator

    Posts: 626

    Jan 24, 2008 8:42 PM GMT
    Depends on what I'm drinking and how much I've had, as well as a bunch of other contextual things; where I am, who I find hot, etc.

    Hot guys at the bar, for instance, I'll sometimes compliment (usually it's something like "congratulations on being the hottest guy in the place tonight") but usually I put it off until I'm headed for the coat check on my way out. That way if they're like "ew, what was that?" I'm not around to hear it, and if they're like "hmm, who was that?" then maybe the next time we're both there they'll strike up conversation that I'm too shy to, or maybe they'll follow me outside and I'll have to explain that I have a boyfriend so unless they'd like to meet him too... er.. anyway, so that's the bar scenario. But that's a much more permissive, impersonal environment. Out on the street or whatever I'm a lot more reserved, and online hotlisting someone is pretty much as bold as I get. I don't initiate personal conversation well. I used to, years ago, but I've become more independent (detached) and socially retarded since then. The bf says it's because at some point I lost my ability to empathise with others or read between the lines, and without that I'm left to assume that people are only interested in me if they come right out and say so, and until they do I figure I might as well not bother them :-P

    lol, confessionals are fun icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 24, 2008 8:43 PM GMT
    Also shy here.

    My friends don't think so, but the first message, the first phone call, the first coffee - all very nerve wracking.

    Working on it. If I'm not shy amongst my friends then it's just a bit mental to be shy in other situations.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 24, 2008 8:46 PM GMT
    Ummmm....not shy at all, can anyone tell? icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 24, 2008 8:58 PM GMT
    Sometimes I'm shy and sometimes not. It usually doesn't end well when I initiate conversation with someone or send an e-mail out of the blue. 9 times out of 10 I don't get a response, and the guy I approach in person has a boyfriend or isn't interested. I'm very approachable though so I tend to meet people pretty easily (and I've had to work very hard at being approachable and not aloof or snobby). I'm working on being able to make a graceful exit, or help someone else make a graceful exit, if one of us isn't into the other. I've learned to tell when someone wants to get away from me, which makes it easier to say something like, "I need to go find my friends. Nice talking with you."
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 24, 2008 9:00 PM GMT
    What the hell is shy???? HAHAHAHA!! icon_lol.gif

    Not a shy bone in me!!
  • maximumrisk

    Posts: 799

    Jan 24, 2008 9:03 PM GMT
    I am totally shy. On the net I am mostly the one who iniciates contact, but only because my mailbox would be always empty if I didn`t. Outside in RL I need a few minutes of talking to unfreeze, but then I am open as a book.icon_razz.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 24, 2008 9:03 PM GMT
    Raging extrovert, but shy at approaching people I don't know, unless I'm in charge of organizing everyone, then I'm all over the place.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 24, 2008 9:23 PM GMT
    Nuh-uh. Sometimes cold, aloof, imperious, mercurial, temperamental, or otherwise quiet, but NEVER shy.
  • duglyduckling

    Posts: 279

    Jan 24, 2008 9:26 PM GMT
    amazing how some of the hottest guys are really shy here.
  • RSportsguy

    Posts: 1925

    Jan 24, 2008 9:27 PM GMT
    I am very shy. I do open up when I know someone, but it takes awhile for me to do so! I think that is why I love this site so much because it has helped me come out of my shell. icon_biggrin.gif
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    Jan 24, 2008 9:28 PM GMT
    I'm in the same damned boat as Diver.

    Sure, I'm trying harder and harder to make more eye contact and smile more, and it definitely feels good, but this wanting to avoid rejection can really have a grip on me sometimes.

    I'm not proud and I'm not gonna lie...beer loosens things up. But then that also has it's own unattractive vibe to it.
  • RSportsguy

    Posts: 1925

    Jan 24, 2008 9:31 PM GMT
    XRuggerATX saidI'm in the same damned boat as Diver.

    Sure, I'm trying harder and harder to make more eye contact and smile more, and it definitely feels good, but this wanting to avoid rejection can really have a grip on me sometimes.

    I'm not proud and I'm not gonna lie...beer loosens things up. But then that also has it's own unattractive vibe to it.


    Beer works wonders with me too, but then I am too conscious of not sounding stupid. I don't want to look like Barney from the Simpsons!!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 24, 2008 9:37 PM GMT
    Like this?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 24, 2008 9:39 PM GMT
    a little shy ...

    but when someone sends me a message, i always send a reply ...

    i always try to make friends ... whether online or real-time ... i guess thats who i am ...

    he he ...