coming out to your kids

  • baldone

    Posts: 826

    Apr 05, 2010 11:03 PM GMT
    ok, not sure this has been posted before, so i am asking all those former married guys with older kids, how did you tell them that you're gay,my daughter knows, but the son, who is my cross to bear, does not...he right now is in rehab, and i have met someone who i can honestly see spending much much time with now and in the future....ltr material,and when the kid gets out of rehab most likely will have to stay with me for a bit...and will not push myself back into closet because of him.......any help here would be greatly appreciated....
    by the way he is a great big homophobe...calls em all faggots
    just thought i would add that
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 05, 2010 11:23 PM GMT
    I don't have any advice for you, but you have your work cut out for you. It's up to you to set the ground-rules for his stay at your house.
  • baldone

    Posts: 826

    May 02, 2010 3:14 PM GMT
    here's an update...i told him last week, basically his reply is that i cheated him out of the chance of having a normal male role model, cheated his mom out of what could be years of hapiness...all this and he is still in my house, eating my food....will probably ask him to either start contributing some money toward this or get out today
    using me just like he always has
  • Midas426

    Posts: 965

    May 02, 2010 3:19 PM GMT
    baldone saidhere's an update...i told him last week, basically his reply is that i cheated him out of the chance of having a normal male role model, cheated his mom out of what could be years of hapiness...all this and he is still in my house, eating my food....will probably ask him to either start contributing some money toward this or get out today
    using me just like he always has
    I'm sorry to hear that baldone. It sounds like you have a good plan. Hopefully he'll contribute.
  • baldone

    Posts: 826

    May 02, 2010 3:22 PM GMT
    don't really care if he does, just want him gone, startng plans on moving to be closer to my guy.....almost a 35 minute ride to see him 3-4 tmes a week....ultimatly will be moving south together ...key west area..he loves it there and i have never been so new opportunities and new life
  • Nayro

    Posts: 1825

    May 02, 2010 3:25 PM GMT
    how old are ur kids? Hows ur relationship with ur son otherwise? And how does he get along with his mom and sister?
  • Midas426

    Posts: 965

    May 02, 2010 3:25 PM GMT
    I hear you. I'm really happy for your long term plans with your guy. Key West is such a nice area....only been there once, though. icon_biggrin.gif
  • baldone

    Posts: 826

    May 02, 2010 3:29 PM GMT
    Niceguy89 saidhow old are ur kids? Hows ur relationship with ur son otherwise? And how does he get along with his mom and sister?
    relationship has been when he needs something, has drug problem and is convicted felon, put me into bankruptcy, has ok relationship with his mother and semi ok with his sister oh and he turns 29 this year, daughter is 25
  • Nayro

    Posts: 1825

    May 02, 2010 3:37 PM GMT
    So he has been nothing but trouble basically? I have no intention to be mean or something, just wondering. Why is he not staying with his mother?
    I know people who have 2 daughters, one of them is a whore, who uses her parents when she needs something. The other one is my friend, shes the opposite of her sister. After 4 years of this shit with their oldest daughters they are slowly letting her go now, cause there is nothing that she takes from them. She never answers letters, mails, phonecalls etc. It hurts the parents a lot but they are chosing their own good now, since she will only hurt them over and over again... maybe you need to let your son go aswell. I have no kids myself so I cant even imagine how hard it must be but sometimes you need to think about urself first.
  • baldone

    Posts: 826

    May 02, 2010 3:41 PM GMT
    Niceguy89 saidSo he has been nothing but trouble basically? I have no intention to be mean or something, just wondering. Why is he not staying with his mother?
    I know people who have 2 daughters, one of them is a whore, who uses her parents when she needs something. The other one is my friend, shes the opposite of her sister. After 4 years of this shit with their oldest daughters they are slowly letting her go now, cause there is nothing that she takes from them. She never answers letters, mails, phonecalls etc. It hurts the parents a lot but they are chosing their own good now, since she will only hurt them over and over again... maybe you need to let your son go aswell. I have no kids myself so I cant even imagine how hard it must be but sometimes you need to think about urself first.
    well, its my daughters house and neither one of them want him in the house...he has stolen from all of us in the past.....
  • Midas426

    Posts: 965

    May 02, 2010 3:52 PM GMT
    It sounds like you're taking the right steps. I concur with niceguy89 about letting it go, which I think you're doing as well.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 02, 2010 5:10 PM GMT
    Kick his ungrateful ass out to the curb. Now.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 02, 2010 5:36 PM GMT
    wrestlervic saidKick his ungrateful ass out to the curb. Now.


    AGREE!
    I have 3 sons 25, 18 and 15...allowing them to shit on you with a bad attitude is not right and is unfair to you. Tell him to get his useless ass out of your house! He is an adult and needs to handle his own life and not at your expense. That he blames you for the break up of the family and whatever else is not where a 29 year old man is supposed to be emotionally...he needs to grow up and get some therapy...and don't you dare pay for it! Tough love is just that...TOUGH...He needs to get there himself and will appreciate it all the more if he does it. Your job is done...you owe him no more.