Can You Meet a Guy at the Gym Without Cruising?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 06, 2010 8:25 PM GMT
    We're all gym rats and proud of it -- it makes sense that we'd try to meet men at the gym. But what is the line between meeting someone and cruising? How do you ask someone out without looking like a creep?
  • Delivis

    Posts: 2332

    Apr 06, 2010 8:30 PM GMT
    Strike up a conversation about whatever you usually talk about when striking a conversation, ask him about working out, ask him to spot you. If you are getting along well everything should follow from there just as you would if you made a new friend at the gym without any pretense or hope of a romantic relationship.
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    Apr 07, 2010 1:07 AM GMT
    I've been told they call it being social without the intention of trying to "bang n' bone" the individual. Merely talking to someone who shares the same interests with you is not a crime and asking them out for dinner or maybe movie because you feel a freindly connection is just that: a friendly connection.

    If you don't wanna appear creepish then don't send out vibes of sexual desires or try too hard to grab their interest. Let things happen naturally and treat a stranger like you'd treat a friend when engaging them. With respect and courtesy.
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    Apr 08, 2010 1:15 AM GMT
    Guy101 saidIf you don't wanna appear creepish then don't send out vibes of sexual desires or try too hard to grab their interest. Let things happen naturally and treat a stranger like you'd treat a friend when engaging them. With respect and courtesy.

    What if you don't want to be friends? What if you want to bone them, just not then and there in the gym?

    Is there an intermediary between "Let's fuck like Catholic schoolchildren" and "Let's be friends so maybe we can start something romantic by the time I'm dead?"
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    Apr 08, 2010 1:19 AM GMT
    I'm obsessive about efficiently going through my gym time (it's tightly alloted). Gym time is not social time for me.
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    Apr 08, 2010 1:20 AM GMT
    Not really, at least not at the gym. Most guys at gyms go to lift, not look for prospective boyfriends. I know I didn't look for possible boyfriends or hookups at the gym when I was single.

    You can meet guys in a completely platonic manner and see where things go, but that's as close as you can get at a gym without risking awkwardness...
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    Apr 08, 2010 1:23 AM GMT
    Working at a gym, I've found that it's best to see which of the guys are social and which ones would rather not let you bug them, as a first step. Even some of the straight guys have walked up to me and started chatting. Some of them get bored between sets, and its cool to talk to them.

    After I feel comfortable with them, I usually come out (not on purpose, but they ask a question and I just decide to be honest). I've not met any gay guys that way, but I've made some good gym friends that way (One even tried to convince me to try going after one of his gay friends).

    I actually have a fairly cold relationship with the gay guys at my gym. I don't want to "out" some, and others I don't want to make them feel like I'm hitting on them.. and a small minority are so gay I don't want to be seen around them and have myself outed again (has happened once, my coworkers asked if I got a gay friend of mine's number after they watched us talk for a while).

    Though, one interesting situation.. I was checking out a guy that worked out, and a few weeks later, him and his girlfriend ended up at our local gay bar. His girlfriend started dancing with me, and he ended up coming along. Though he is still "straight", he's pretty flexible, and has made it fairly clear that some day he's going to experiment with me and my beau. But.. that doesn't count, because I didn't say a single word to him at the gym before I met him at the club.
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    Apr 08, 2010 1:26 AM GMT
    My straight brother always said, "Don't expect to meet someone; if it happens, so much the better!"icon_wink.gif