How does a small slim guy attract a big muscled guy?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 22, 2007 2:39 AM GMT
    So, I've fallen into the trap of falling for the bodybuilder types. Obviously attraction is more about the person themselves rather than the body, but I tend look for muscles. I've found that the big guys are mostly only into other big guys and while I am not so bad to look at, I am often overlooked.

    Maybe I need to move on and not turn my head every time I see great arms. I know that I have alot more to offer than my body and maybe should apply that perspective to men I meet no matter what their size.

    Any suggestions?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 22, 2007 12:22 PM GMT
    Just be you! If it happens great and if it doesn't and you really want it too then hit the gym.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 22, 2007 5:50 PM GMT
    Everyone's into their own thing.

    Meaning that there's somebody out there for you. You just have to find him, which is a lot easier said than done.

    and when you finally do, have the confidence to be upfront and be you.

    I'm sure theres some muscle guy out there thats just waiting to find his own twiggy.

    But remember, you have to be active, you have be goal oriented. You want something make it happen.
    Don't just expect things to plop in your lap.

    if you need to maybe find the right place to be at or even tighten up a little bit, its no harm if its going to get you that thing you want.

    and remember patience.
    Our society is so bent on the quick and easy.

    But just make an effort to find him. don't be afraid to say what you want out of life.

    "Hey I'm a small guy looking for a muscle man."


  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 23, 2007 5:26 AM GMT
    Thanks so much...that is good advice. Now to put it into action....
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 23, 2007 6:30 AM GMT
    Good luck in such a shallow world.
    Of course those dudes who take hours in the gym a week and diet want the same.. wouldnt you!?
    If you cant beat them, join them.. especially when ripped muscular men and tall slender women ARE TOO DAMN IRRESISTABLE!

    Get your skinny ass in the gym. ;) I do.
  • bigguysf

    Posts: 329

    May 23, 2007 7:07 AM GMT
    Hopefully this reply will give you lots of hope...
    I love lots of different body types, but especially tend to find myself drawn to slimmer, lean, tight bodies. Since I'm a bigger guy, most people think that I'm only attracted to bigger guys. Big doesn't interest me too much though.

    So remember that there are many guys, big, small and in-between, who will think you have the perfect body for them. Don't judge yourself by an external standard that doesn't apply, and be happy that you are the perfect size to fit in someone's (okay, me) arms quite nicely. :)
    Take care man.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 24, 2007 2:00 AM GMT
    Thank you for such a kind and balanced reply. I really appreciate it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 30, 2007 8:03 AM GMT
    Amen!
  • GeorgeNJ

    Posts: 216

    Jun 01, 2007 1:35 AM GMT
    I was at a Memorial Day picnic, with all gay men. There must have been about 35 or 40 people, and only 2 of us were single (<>). Largely, older guys were present (that is, guys in their 50's, 60's and 70s). I was totally amazed at the number of couples where one was older, and the other was a younger muscley, well-defined guy in his 30's. It had my head spinning: How the hell do I meet a young guy who is in fabulous shape? (I'm 51, and like you I'm slim and in shape).

    You know what? There's somebody out there for everybody!!! Don't give up the search. Just be out there, be seen, get to be known. One day, it will happen.
  • Facemodel

    Posts: 7

    Jun 01, 2007 2:50 AM GMT
    Why advice....First learn the lingo. For example bodybuilder guys don't say I have been working out and try to get toned. They would say I have been leaning up so I will be ripped by summer

    Secondly, take the attention away from your physique. Complement them on theirs. They love that and tell them you have a big weiner.

    Your as good as in there......
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 01, 2007 3:03 AM GMT
    go to the gym. get buff. its fun.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 01, 2007 5:43 AM GMT
    1. You want a muscled guy, so go to the gym, because that's where they are. If it is possible in your area, pick a gym in a gay part of town. Otherwise be very descrete.

    2. Ask one for advice on exercises you should do. Your second line can be. "I'll probably never get bit like you, but I want to be better than I am."

    3. Your are slim so you are half way to DEFINITION. Nearly everybody likes that.

    4. Be yourself. Be prepared to become friends with a few people and maybe you will find a boyfriend.



  • TallGWMvballe...

    Posts: 1925

    Jun 01, 2007 6:14 AM GMT
    Great advice from many!

    I am a bigger guy and I ONLY like smooth, thin to lean guys like you so I am sure there are many more like me out there,
    I agree that the best way to meet the ones you like would be at the gym... but rather than trying to get BIG and be one of those guys, make yourself as good as you can be...emphasise what you have best; your leanness! keep streched and defined...many of the big muscle guys you like will probably take notice.


    === Ron
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 01, 2007 2:06 PM GMT
    I'm a thin guy that's has typically attracted large, muscular men. However, when I began to work out the tone and definition I developed increased the amount of attention I received.

    It's all in what people are attracted to...and believe me, there is a market for us thin guys!



  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 01, 2007 2:32 PM GMT
    try to be yourself he will find u finally ;)
    he found me :D
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 01, 2007 5:42 PM GMT
    Much of the advice here involves changing YOU. When, you may be satisfied with yourself. I think the more important thing once you know what you want is how to find it. Exposure.

    Since you can't guarantee that the buff fintness guys lurk in McDonald's, try hanging out places where perhaps health-conscious individuals would go. A supplement or natural food market would be a great place. Others on here offered that you should hit the gym and get as buff as they are, but I'd say the gym is a good place to find what you're looking for even if you're content with your body type.

    If nothing else, you could do cardio for overall health without gaining awkward bulk if that's not what you want for your body.

    A good way to break ice, if you're coming from the slimmer guy approaching a fitness expert, is to ask him in person to help you with one of the pieces of equipment. It'll make him feel a sense of trust from the beginning (don't ask him if he's clearly busy!) and sometimes the only way to show form is to grab you from behind andpose you. So good luck.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 02, 2007 7:20 AM GMT
    All very good advice gentlemen. I am glad for those who have found their guys and feel better about the prospect myself. I have done alot of work on the inner person, I guess I just have to tweak the outer a bit, or at least get the outer person into target-rich environments. Even so, where are all the big guys that like slim guys on this site? Feel free to respond!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 02, 2007 9:48 AM GMT
    richdaniels is right. I worked at GNC part time right at the UPitt campus. Major Icandy and the guys working with me were something else also.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 02, 2007 4:51 PM GMT
    Cool, did anything happen with any of them?
  • TallGWMvballe...

    Posts: 1925

    Jun 02, 2007 5:25 PM GMT
    Marky,
    You are right.
    Your body looks terrific!.... I would kill to be that build again!
    (I was that thin until 45 or so)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 05, 2007 4:15 PM GMT
    Ha ha, some of us have trouble gaining weight and others lossing weight. I guess the grass is always greener etc
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 06, 2007 11:15 PM GMT
    Just checking back up on here and a lot of people are telling you to go out and get bigger.

    Just remember to always be you. Thats the problem. Why do so many big people only like big people? Because they got big to attract big people.

    You don't have to change if you don't want to. Putting on a bunch of body weight for always doesn't guarantee that you'll maintain. I've so many people stop working out and blow up.

    Like I said. There's someone out there for everyone. Don't be afraid to pursue those people. Rejection isn't that bad, just a signal telling you to move on.

    You'll find him eventually if you aren't afraid to put yourself out there and keep on living as yourself.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 06, 2007 11:59 PM GMT
    HAHAHAHAHAHA, I love this forum. I can totally relate.

    I'm more of a book worm than any kind of Arnold Shwarzenegger and I'm very proud of my intellect thank you and would rather be the brains than the brawns in my relationship.

    I will still stay fit throughout my life just to stay sexy and that will be me and I will love whoever loves me for being me.

    My advice would be to yeah, do everything that those guys told you about hitting on the muscular dudes and getting some coaching from a fitness expert just because it would be an adventure. Nothing whatsoever to be embarrassed about.

    When you got it, flaunt it baby. Work it.

    Much Love
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 23, 2007 10:27 PM GMT
    I am glad that I am not the only slim person on this site. I was really worried that I would end up as the only slim gay guy around here.

    I am slim myself and I actually find muscular guys attractive as well. So I know how ndyah feels. The gym sounds like a nice idea; you'll get to see a lot of hot, muscular guys if nothing else whilst staying healthy and slim.

    I think the reason big guys like other muscular men is because of humans being attracted to people like themselves. We prefer the known and the familiar. So strong men may like other strong men, but opposites attract so I bet a lot of strong guyts prefer smaller guys. I think personality is more important than muscle though. I am currently ina relationship with a slim guy but he has such a wonderful personality and is very compassionate and friendly. Those qualities are more important than strength and body type in my opinion.

    But the gym is still a good idea. I am going to visit my local gym tomorrow actually.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 23, 2007 11:05 PM GMT
    I've wondered about this exact same subject many times. I'm completely self-conscious anyways, and not having the body that I really want just makes things even worse. It would seem to me like bigger guys would want to be with other bigger guys because I think alot of guys who really care about and work on their physique like to know that the person they are with does too. I admit I'm a bit lax when it comes to working out and such, but I do try to keep at least fit and fully intend on working out regularly pretty soon.

    But anyway, I've found that even simply on this site that are many attractive and well-built guys who are into guys my size. I really like this site because I've never been on another where so many guys were so balanced and well-rounded. I really think it's because it's a community of guys who have goals and a desire to help others as well. You really can come to this site and find great friends, but I think with that also comes the possibility of something greater.

    My self-confidence has grown greatly in the short time I've been on this site, and it's not because I've been working out and looking better (which I will be doing soon!) but because so many guys have made me feel so good about what I've got right now. I think that, more than anything else, is what makes me want to get started on getting a better body. When you don't feel like crap about yourself, it's so much easier to motivate yourself to be even better....