FORCED PERFECTION leads to unwanted depression! :/

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    Apr 07, 2010 4:36 AM GMT
    ok so i HAVE to let it out or i will die. if you are gonna judge go ahead. just listen.

    ok so i want to be a model when i get outta school or go to university and model on the sidelines. whatever. the point is i want to model. it the thing that i am most passonate about. i love modelling. the whole art aspect of it. the way to express an emotion without even saying a word. the whole thing of it.i have even done some local DEADMONTON (edmonton) modelling and i do love it. i long for more. i even know abt the bad stuff and thats what i need to talk about. that industry is cruel. perfection is needed and so i start analyzing myself according to their standards. first ok all i am not toned. i am slim. i NEED to get toned and i am making efforts my the end of this semester i shall be there. and whenever i look at myself in the mirror i dont sexy or cute at all. i dont know why? just the whole perfection apsect of it. and i freak out if i get a blackhead OR a whitehead. i just feel so insecure and vulnerable. i feel as if my self confidence is down and my self-esteem is damaged. am i being to harsh on myself? god.
    thanks for listening. and pardon my punctuation.

    shu

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    Apr 07, 2010 5:02 AM GMT
    The definition of perfection is subjective. When I first moved to New York I had no intent of being an actor, yet landed an agent almost immediately through my roommate (a Wilhelmina model), got cast in a couple of Japanese AT&T commercials, auditioned for a Broadway musical and got a callback without even having to SING, and after sweating out my lack of acting chops was told I'd be perfect for soaps since most of those guys weren't trained actors. Even considered modeling myself but didn't bother trying because back in the day I was considered too short for runway, and aside from that I had enough self awareness to know I wasn't model material. But you know what? I hated rejection, and never pursued acting further, sticking with my day job and graduate school. No regrets.

    Now, I didn't love acting like you love the idea of modeling but the point is this - while there's no shortage of insecure models who criticize themselves as microscopically as the cameras do, they have the capacity to act confident even when they're not. Do you? Can you live with knowing that your look may be just the look some casting agent is looking for, but that most of the time it might not be? If you can handle that, if you can handle the prospect of rejection, then you should give it a shot.
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    Apr 07, 2010 5:08 AM GMT
    Read this: http://www.newmodels.com
    Then read it again. And thrice.

    And feel free to message me if you have questions. I've been in the industry for a few years, and can at least point you in the right direction. icon_smile.gif
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    Apr 07, 2010 6:02 AM GMT
    eagermuscle saidThe definition of perfection is subjective. When I first moved to New York I had no intent of being an actor, yet landed an agent almost immediately through my roommate (a Wilhelmina model), got cast in a couple of Japanese AT&T commercials, auditioned for a Broadway musical and got a callback without even having to SING, and after sweating out my lack of acting chops was told I'd be perfect for soaps since most of those guys weren't trained actors. Even considered modeling myself but didn't bother trying because back in the day I was considered too short for runway. But you know what? I hated rejection, and never pursued it further, sticking with my day job and graduate school. No regrets.

    Now, I didn't love acting like you love the idea of modeling but the point is this - while there's no shortage of insecure models who criticize themselves as microscopically as the cameras do, they have the capacity to act confident even when they're not. Do you? Can you live with knowing that your look may be just the look some casting agent is looking for, but that most of the time it might not be? If you can handle that, if you can handle the prospect of rejection, then you should give it a shot.


    quite a stoy you got there. I think we gays can take rejection. Haha but yea I don't wanna be that self esteem deprived model. I will work hard against it.
    Thanks for replying.
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    Apr 07, 2010 6:03 AM GMT
    paulflexes saidRead this: http://www.newmodels.com
    Then read it again. And thrice.

    And feel free to message me if you have questions. I've been in the industry for a few years, and can at least point you in the right direction. icon_smile.gif


    ok for sure. I'll check it out. Thanks icon_smile.gif
  • AlexGuess

    Posts: 364

    Apr 07, 2010 9:05 AM GMT
    Tell me about it, I'm a ballet dancer (have to get rid of that big ass I'm carrying) icon_eek.gif
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    Apr 07, 2010 1:06 PM GMT
    "Models" are often about as nonathletic, and anorexic, as they come, living up to a distorted image, that really just amounts to skin and bones. I've watched kids starve themselves to achieve a certain look, that, just like being a fat ass, really isn't very appealing, and, isn't good for you.

    Folks in fashion are FLAKES, preying upon FLAKES, and, often, selling to FLAKES.

    If you're at this stage, at this stage in the game, it may likely not be a good choice for you.
  • ajw18

    Posts: 141

    Apr 07, 2010 3:09 PM GMT
    I wouldn't call us "flakes" just because we are in fashion. It really depends on what part of the industry you are looking at.

    Modeling is a tough industry to break into. If you can't take criticism and rejection, then you should save yourself the money, energy, and time and try to focus on something else.

    First, you have to figure out what type of model you are. At 5'11", I would put you as too short for runway (only Sean O'pry has been able to get away with that height because of his incredible face). And for some larger agencies, that is short for their overall men's board. That leaves print, catalog, and commercial work.

    Second, you are not going to be cast as one of the boys for Dolce and Gabbana, Ralph Lauren, or Armani. The larger labels are looking for men who are more masculine looking. The labels that would consider looking at you are those that typically cast more androgynous men. You need to accept your look, embrace it, and leverage it.

    Third, yes, modeling is a world of perfection. Most people I know are shocked to learn that models actually look as good in person as they do in print. What label wants to pay for retouching? As long as you have good skin and are not balding, then you can take more comfort in your look.


  • jrs1

    Posts: 4388

    Apr 07, 2010 3:16 PM GMT
    nah ...

    4500310050_8f99d465f5.jpg

    werk.
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    Apr 07, 2010 3:43 PM GMT
    This is an example of what I speak of when I say starved to "skin and bones." I'm not sure I would call it perfection at all. Nearly everything that says "guy" here is absent.

    154101_273038.jpg
  • jrs1

    Posts: 4388

    Apr 07, 2010 3:44 PM GMT
    chuckystud saidThis is an example of what I speak of when I say starved to "skin and bones." I'm not sure I would call it perfection at all.

    I think he looks wonderful and we each have our own perspectives.
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    Apr 07, 2010 4:07 PM GMT
    chuckystud said"Models" are often about as nonathletic, and anorexic, as they come, living up to a distorted image, that really just amounts to skin and bones. I've watched kids starve themselves to achieve a certain look, that, just like being a fat ass, really isn't very appealing, and, isn't good for you.

    Folks in fashion are FLAKES, preying upon FLAKES, and, often, selling to FLAKES.

    If you're at this stage, at this stage in the game, it may likely not be a good choice for you.


    Always a kind word LOL

    but I agree and disagree a little on that so I'm glad you said "are often about as nonathletic...." because yes there are some that are very athletic looking. Granted most aren't and are just blessed with a good face and average to somewhat better than average body, skinny or not.

    Here's my take

    The vast majority of male models and especially those that work in highend mags and such as mentioned above have an instantly recognizable "look". That " look" is to be plain and simple that they are very very good looking naturally. Doesn't mean they all look the same but any person anywhere who looks at them for the first time whether in real life or in a magazine instantly pegs them as very attractive. But you know this anyways I would think.

    I would bet dollars to donuts that these same attractive models, prior to becoming models, were occasionally reminded or remarked upon by people, in various ways, shapes or forms, that they were very good looking or "should be a model" . Even if they themselves didn't think they were "that good-looking" and modelling as a career had never even entered their mind. They were probably prodded into it by others or as sometimes happens "discovered" by an agency scout while bussing dishes from tables at Applebees

    Have you had friends/family/strangers commenting and without your prodding that you look good enough to go be a model or is it just your own thinking that you have the look and what it takes to be a model?

    Take RJ for example.. lots and lots of good looking and attractive guys and average looking guys,,,BUT

    I've seen some profile pics of guys on RJ here who I would instantly peg as being good looking enough to walk right onto a highend magazine photoshoot this very instant whilst the rest of us would be escorted out the building by security.

    Do you believe that you could right now walk onto a photoshoot or would you be one of the rest of us being escorted out the buildilng?

  • ATLANTIS7

    Posts: 1213

    Apr 07, 2010 4:27 PM GMT
    Good luck!
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    Apr 07, 2010 4:39 PM GMT
    I was approached while visiting NYC once, but the agent changed her mind when I confessed that I was 6'3" and not 6'1". I just went back to walking down the street. (At first I thought she was some sort of weirdo but I googled her from her business card later to discover she was legit.)

    Point is, you have to be you first and foremost. If you want to model, be comfortable in your own skin first and then realize that your "skin" may not be suited for any/all aspects of your desired field.

    In discussions such as this I always use Rosie O'Donnell. Rosie loves Broadway, but Rosie doesn't have a pleasing voice. She knows how to sing, sings with power and feeling, has a pure passion for it...but frankly her voice is not up to standard. That didn't stop her from making various attempts - both on her shows, on Broadway, etc - at reaching for what she wanted. Your level of talent and aptitude may vary from her situation comparatively, but the point is...she went for it from a comfort zone of knowing she wasn't the 100% ideal but she had the moxy necessary to chase what she wanted.
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    Apr 07, 2010 6:01 PM GMT
    You can try and see what happens,but don't get your hopes up.






  • ajw18

    Posts: 141

    Apr 10, 2010 6:02 PM GMT
    chuckystud saidThis is an example of what I speak of when I say starved to "skin and bones." I'm not sure I would call it perfection at all. Nearly everything that says "guy" here is absent.

    154101_273038.jpg


    Yikes! Ha.

    I am no model myself, dear sir. I just work in corporate. Just trying to give the original poster from advice. icon_rolleyes.gif

    Also, personality is a huge component as a model. When we are casting, we expect the model to be respectful, memorable, and spunky.
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    Apr 10, 2010 6:07 PM GMT
    ajw18 said...
    Modeling is a tough industry to break into. If you can't take criticism and rejection, then you should save yourself the money, energy, and time and try to focus on something else.
    ...
    I couldn't have said it better myself. icon_smile.gif
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    Apr 10, 2010 6:42 PM GMT
    If you have a passion, then go for it 100%.

    A model's job is to sell a product or service. You may not have the look for certain types of work, but the agency/client will probably see potential for specific jobs. So the faults you see in the mirror may not be faults at all.

    Rejection happens a lot so you can't fall apart when you don't get a job.

    As in any industry or profession, you will be surrounded by some terrific creative people as well as douchbags. When I did that work (and still sometimes do) I found it was critical I remain true to my own integrity and values. When you start trying to fit into what everyone else is doing or thinking, you become just another pretty face.

    (and some people love to hate models and the entire profession as JUST a bunch of brainless prettyfaces). Fuck em.

    If you get good at it, you can make tons of money that will bankroll your future. Its also a profession where you meet people internationaly as well as in other creative fields. They have a wider prespective on life than a lot of people who hate/bored their job.



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    Apr 13, 2010 2:37 AM GMT
    chuckystud said"Models" are often about as nonathletic, and anorexic, as they come, living up to a distorted image, that really just amounts to skin and bones. I've watched kids starve themselves to achieve a certain look, that, just like being a fat ass, really isn't very appealing, and, isn't good for you.

    Folks in fashion are FLAKES, preying upon FLAKES, and, often, selling to FLAKES.

    If you're at this stage, at this stage in the game, it may likely not be a good choice for you.


    i believe you r talking abt female models. male models DO NOT have to be starved. we need to be toned. and if you think otherwise that is just ignorance. sorry.
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    Apr 13, 2010 3:13 AM GMT

    Well, this is dedicated to shan37.. go get 'em tiger!


    Everywhere the song says Peg think Shan.

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    Apr 13, 2010 3:27 AM GMT
    shan37 saidmale models DO NOT have to be starved. we need to be toned.
    Ya think? icon_wink.gif
    4a1770b5c3099_m.jpg
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    Apr 13, 2010 3:39 AM GMT
    paulflexes said
    shan37 saidmale models DO NOT have to be starved. we need to be toned.
    Ya think? icon_wink.gif
    4a1770b5c3099_m.jpg


    No.....we need to eat more fiber. and less carbs and more ice cream.
  • cmom19

    Posts: 33

    Apr 13, 2010 3:43 AM GMT
    I think the most important thing is to seek validation from within before going out and trying to model. I think too many people rely on things like modeling and looks to boost (or destroy) their self esteem. For example, a lot of the gay guys I've met claim to have modeled at one point. While some of them may have, it's kind of sad that the rest feel that it's necessary to make such claims. Just saying- I'd only recommend going for it if you can first accept yourself as enough. Because you are. Awwicon_biggrin.gif
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    Apr 13, 2010 3:46 AM GMT
    I never imagined someone would have a serious passion for this, but to each their own. Wouldn't you prefer attention and recognition from a smaller group of people whose opinion actually means something? I think as you get older you will find that determing who matters, and becoming comfortable with yourself in that context, is a process of narrowing that is completely alien to the field you wish to enter.

    One of my greater acts of stupidity was ultimately rejecting the kindest man whom I've ever dated, and this is what he did for a living. He would become disconsolate over the most minor imperfections, and it was a mystery to me how he could ever perceive himself as anything other than ungodly beautiful. I'd only be able to get him out of his funks with taunts that even if he needed a pryin' bar I'd still love him:

    Pryin' Bar Reference

    My advice would be that if you find yourself vulnerable to such bouts of self-consciousness (to which I can relate - I am painfully self-conscious myself when it comes to my work, or really any error I make), you may want to find something that builds you up instead of tearing you down. It's exhausting, and nobody should be treated the way those poor kids are sometimes.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 13, 2010 3:46 AM GMT
    chuckystud said"Models" are often about as nonathletic, and anorexic, as they come, living up to a distorted image, that really just amounts to skin and bones. I've watched kids starve themselves to achieve a certain look, that, just like being a fat ass, really isn't very appealing, and, isn't good for you.

    Folks in fashion are FLAKES, preying upon FLAKES, and, often, selling to FLAKES.

    If you're at this stage, at this stage in the game, it may likely not be a good choice for you.


    I treasure every minute of every day when I can look at myself in the mirror and say the same thing to myself. I won't forget these words of wisdom becasue I'm going to copy and paste it into my brain and self worth..................thank you.

    Moving on..........