Romance Dead?....

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 07, 2010 6:53 PM GMT
    Is it just me or is having a LTR not what guys want anymore?

    I met so many guys and there idea of a date was go to a club or bar and then back to there place for some heavy sex, first off i will say that i only have ever been with four guys my whole life who where all cheaters and lairs, second i grew up in a small town and was raised by a single mother who put me in catholic school and made me become a alter boy.

    So on that note is it just me? am i just not good enough to date? i feel as if im going to be single for most of my life, i know im still young and all but im ready to settle down now...i want that connecting with someone, i wanna make someone happy and do special things for them, i want a family....

    Anyways just seems like guys now a days just want one thing....hook ups. and that leaves people like me who dont do hook ups out in the rain. i get im not the best looking guy and i dont have the best body either, but what i do got is way more important in the long run, im not self centerd but i do have a awesome personality and im can get along with anyone and i always make ppl laugh...i just dont get why all my friends find these amazing people gay and straight and here i am...i feel like used goods that no one wants..

    Sorry this is more of me venting then anything else...but i do like feedback...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 07, 2010 8:47 PM GMT
    Ha! We are so on the same boat my friend. I totally feel the way you do except I haven't had a bf ever. Hang in there. You'll find him. As will I. icon_smile.gif
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Apr 07, 2010 9:00 PM GMT
    It's hard to find a guy who is interested in more than just a short-term get together.....I'm very happy that I found a guy who thinks in long-term ideas. icon_wink.gif
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    Apr 07, 2010 9:08 PM GMT
    Unfortunately, it seems that the male gender is not wired for long-term relationships. Too bad we can't be lesbians.
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    Apr 07, 2010 9:20 PM GMT
    I'm gonna have to disagree here. I don't think it has anything to do with how desirable the individual is or how "good a catch" one might be, fact of the matter is a lot of guys are just looking for flings and hook-ups. I don't think romance is dead and I know plenty of men who want the same things as you: an LTR with the commitment and stability it affords as well as a future with the person you love. I don't think that's dead at all. I have it and I'm roughly the same age as the OP. I do think that it can be MUCH harder to find such a person especially in the gay community (and particularly at bars/clubs). At the risk of sounding nauseatingly cliché I will say that such a person comes into your life when and how you least expect it. They tend not to be the relationships you plan but those you fall into. I know I always hated hearing that and felt the exact same way but there are plenty of rainbow fish in the sea and one of them out there is waiting for you. Just my $.02.
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    Apr 07, 2010 9:23 PM GMT
    I had it once...but we didn't keep the love "alive" and we fell apart after 15 years.

    Three years later - I think I may have it again...the difference is I am definetly complete as a person. I am not looking for my "missing piece" ... I'd imagine that is more attractive to guys...at least it is to my guy.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 07, 2010 9:26 PM GMT
    Meh, you'll find it eventually, they are out there. Sure it'll be hard, maybe you could try joining some gay clubs or sports. I hear gay volleyball teams can be a good place to find something substantial.
  • Delivis

    Posts: 2332

    Apr 07, 2010 9:30 PM GMT
    Yeah, the kids these days are all into their hook ups and little else it seems..icon_smile.gif

    I'm right there with you.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 07, 2010 9:37 PM GMT
    I was a Catholic altar boy too!

    I think guys in their 20s/early 30s often, straight and gay, do this sort of thing. So you're not alone in your frustration.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 07, 2010 9:56 PM GMT
    It's not you, it really is all of them.

    And don't worry so much, you've really got some stellar looks, just sit back and enjoy the ride till you find the guy who wants to hitch a ride icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 07, 2010 10:29 PM GMT
    Y'all need to give it some time. I've felt that same way many times in my life - and then I've several very long term relationships. They will more likely than not happen if that's what you want. Giving in to sex on the first date may not be the best idea... though... it's not the worst either. icon_cool.gif

    But keep in mind - in all likelihood - those that will wait to see you again have more on their mind than just sex. icon_wink.gif
  • Import

    Posts: 7190

    Apr 07, 2010 10:33 PM GMT
    I too was a catholic alter boy. .
    and I actually liked it. Because I went to a catholic school, lots of the boys and girls in my class were "alter servers"....Thats the new PC term...

    anyway, you'll find something. I found my current bf of a year and a half when I was 25. Like u I wasn't into hooking up and all that crap. I generally felt more comfortable just talking and getting to know people before i jumped in bed with them. .

    I thought to myself "I'll always be single, get used to it".....and wouldn't u know...I met a really great guy, who I love to death.

    Don't give up hope
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 07, 2010 11:18 PM GMT
    Well Maybe I can speak for a few out there.I did not start sleeping with guys till I was 30 after a few episodes when I was 12 & 13.I was a very religious kid growing up.I have had a lot of heartache in my life unrelated to relationships.I am just an avg guy no hottie to be sure and I am not interested in a relationship because deep down I dont think I could handle it if we got serious and were together for years then it fell apart.Does that make me weak?Yes. But sorry thats who I am at this stage of my life.I love friends and I love friends with benefits and I am a good hearted guy but this is just the way I feel.
  • barriehomeboy

    Posts: 2475

    Apr 08, 2010 1:12 AM GMT
    When I was your age, I would have described myself as "not the best looking guy" too, but now I look back at photos of myself and I was so hot. I had no idea. You're that cute too. How can you look at that face and not think you're attractive? Can't see your body, but it's only a small part of the total package.
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    Apr 08, 2010 1:16 AM GMT
    Actually I reckon most blokes are looking for something more meaningful, deep down, it's just a case of finding the right fit.

    I jumped into bed with my partner of nine years now on the night we met.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 08, 2010 3:21 AM GMT
    Thanks for all ur guys advice, I hope yall are right guess ill have to wait and find out.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 08, 2010 3:24 AM GMT
    Yes, romance is dead. More importantly, so are consistency, lack of flakiness, and responsibility.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 08, 2010 3:25 AM GMT
    Guys do exist out there who are looking for more than a mere hookup.
    How do I know that? Cause i exist...
    I am one of those guys...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 08, 2010 4:52 AM GMT
    Lol well good there are some guys like me but they are all far away and I'm prolly not there type so I'm fucked still lol ugh if only I could go straight
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 08, 2010 7:50 AM GMT
    I just found out that a friend of mine is dating someone, but another is in a new relationship. Hearing such things make me go aww. icon_smile.gif But then reality hit me, and I realized I've been single for quite some time...

    I definitely want a bf and am all about a monogamous, long-term relationship, but I have no idea where to start...?