Scheduling Sex?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 07, 2010 9:49 PM GMT
    Does anyone in a LTR really "schedule"sex with their partner? While this seems quite logical it just (to me) sounds like a chore.

    Any advice and/or feedback would be helpful.

    Thanks
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 08, 2010 12:32 AM GMT
    A schedule would be better than what I have now..LOL
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 08, 2010 1:16 AM GMT
    Yes. I have actually had to schedule sex. Lol. Schedule a time slot for it at least.

    I am dating a guy now and we both are so busy that we schedule time. Truthfully, our schedules are so different I have more time for RealJock than I do sex with him. (He is working in Europe at the moment.)

    Not uncommon among professionals.
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    Apr 08, 2010 1:21 AM GMT
    xuaerb saidA schedule would be better than what I have now..LOL


    Ditto this! LOL
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    Apr 08, 2010 2:27 AM GMT
    If just seems so, forcedicon_sad.gif
  • Bunjamon

    Posts: 3161

    Apr 08, 2010 2:36 AM GMT
    Gaymedes saidIf just seems so, forcedicon_sad.gif


    Would you rather schedule to make time for it or be forced to go without?
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    Apr 08, 2010 2:36 AM GMT
    xuaerb saidA schedule would be better than what I have now..LOL


    Was thinking the same thing. You beat me to it! icon_lol.gif
  • jrs1

    Posts: 4388

    Apr 08, 2010 3:31 AM GMT
    Bunjamon said
    Gaymedes saidIf just seems so, forcedicon_sad.gif


    Would you rather schedule to make time for it or be forced to go without?



    oh, FU-censor1.jpg
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    Apr 08, 2010 4:28 AM GMT
    TheGuyNextDoor saidI know a lot of married gay men in Dallas.. I find that most couples that have been together over 10 years tend to have what I call,, Sunday sex...

    Once a week or perhaps once every 2 weeks and on a Sat. or Sunday morning or afternoon. Kinda like Gay Church.......icon_lol.gif


    That's depressing.

    Though I suppose once a week is better than none. I need some sort of sexual contact daily.... sigh.....
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 08, 2010 4:42 AM GMT
    Scheduling with your partner is better than your partner scheduling it with someone else. lol
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    Apr 08, 2010 2:25 PM GMT
    So, it sounds like a chore. Big deal. You are expending minimal energy scheduling so you can have sex. And sex is fucking awesome.

    If the problem is that you like spontaneity in your sex and scheduling kills that for you, then you are going to have to do what every couple in a LTR does: suspend belief. Block out a large chunk of time and both of you do your preparations for sex. Sex can be initiated anytime during that chunk of time, but neither of you know when. That way, you retain some of the spontaneity.

    The other option is just not scheduling it and not having nearly as much sex because of it. Perhaps, like many couples, this will lead to a sexless relationship and straying fantasies. Or maybe you will just independently jerk off more. But, scheduling sex is much hotter than this alternative.
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    Apr 08, 2010 2:28 PM GMT
    it sounds sad, but there are times when I need to schedule it. Maybe not overtly with a datebook entry, but in my head I have to. Working a lot and having many committments, I need to make sure I fit in all duties! I feel like its my responsibility to make sure my boyfriend gets what he needs, luckily I benefit from that also! lol
  • zakariahzol

    Posts: 2241

    Apr 08, 2010 2:47 PM GMT
    Of cause not. When my bf was with me, we have sex whenever we feel like it. He once wake me up at 5 am in the morning demanding sex, even though we just did it before we go to sleep at 11 pm.

    Now that I am single, I look for sex every opportunity I got. And whenever my body is asking for it.
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    Apr 08, 2010 3:11 PM GMT
    When I had this certain non-live-in BF we'd need to schedule our time together, mostly because of conflicts on his side, and try to plan ahead those nights he could sleep over (he had a nearly-adult adopted son living with him, so sleepovers weren't possible at his place). A sleepover was synonymous with sex, but we wouldn't state it that way. Rather, we talked in terms of his "staying over" or "staying the night." One didn't need to draw a picture.

    Or else we'd talk about having dinner at my place, and/or watching a DVD with champagne and chocolates, which in turn was usually a prelude to sleeping over, or at least a romp in my bed before he had to get back to his place. But never did we say "when are you coming over for sex?" or anything like that.

    And while he kept a shaving kit & toiletries in my bathroom, he still needed fresh clothes in the morning, which he'd either leave in his car outside in a gym bag until needed, or if he brought them inside when he first arrived, that told me all I needed to know.

    As for my late & current partners, no overt scheduling of sex. On the contrary, I like to be unpredictable and unexpected, at least from his perspective. In reality I often plan ahead quite carefully, setting the scene as best I can, choosing what I think will be a good moment. But he imagines it's spontaneous, when it rarely is, since I want everything in place & perfect for him, no stumbles or mishaps.

    Needless to say at our ages we're not having sex every single day anyway (is that a TMI?), but neither is it an annual event. So I have the luxury of a little time to pick my moment & place. And also, I hope, the good grace to defer if it happens that he's not in the mood (I know, you're wondering how that could be, someone not in the mood for sex with ME?) icon_razz.gif
  • myklet1

    Posts: 345

    Apr 08, 2010 3:12 PM GMT
    Pretty much on a schedule.......that way we are both there.