Only gay people share their feelings.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 08, 2010 12:13 AM GMT
    This is a pretty good article on guy-guy friendships, but Im not so sure what to think about it.

    http://online.wsj.com/article/SB20001424052702304620304575166090090482912.html

    Maybe gay people aren't as afraid as straight guys to share emotions with their friends. Id like to think that I have substantial conversations with guys and its not because Im gay.
  • barriehomeboy

    Posts: 2475

    Apr 08, 2010 1:17 AM GMT
    I didn't watch if for viral reasons, but generally str8 guys don't talk about how they feel about things. It's a feminine thing. Who cares how you feel about the ibex you're chasing off a cliff? It's dinner for the clan. Why you moved that stone between our part of the cave and yours? That's an emotional issue for the women back in the cave to work out.
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    Apr 08, 2010 2:13 AM GMT
    That article is pretty much right on for straight guys. HOWEVER! I also have an array of straight friends that truly enjoy having a guy friend with whom they can be openly sensitive, free of criticism. But to a man, none of them are as sensitive or engaged in drama, to the degree of most gay guys and women.
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    Apr 08, 2010 2:32 AM GMT
    True to many straight guys, I guess.
  • hartfan

    Posts: 1037

    Apr 08, 2010 7:37 AM GMT
    Personally, I like to do some of both, but I will only open up to closer friends I know and trust. I have shared stuff with close straight male friends, and enjoyed doing stuff with close gay male friends. I think it's healthy and important to have a balance of both.

    However, I also personally agree with the study's findings about not enjoying maintaining close relationships with people who are "high maintenance", "needy" or "a tendency for drama", be they male or female, gay or straight.
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    Apr 08, 2010 7:44 AM GMT
    I think this is a stereotype and a bit simplistic.

    Maybe guys like this communicate in different ways about their feelings. Also, most people of all kinds are not well in touch with their emotions anyway, male/female/gay/straight.

    Here in our culture everyone tends to sit and talk about what's going on. Most of my straight guy friends, are even more communicative then many gay guys I know. Generally I'm drawn to people with a soul and mind as well as who are adventurers.

    Articles like this and the way of stereotyping people based on gender or sexuality make it almost impossible to see who we all really are.

  • jlly_rnchr

    Posts: 1759

    Apr 08, 2010 7:51 AM GMT
    Does sharing the names of your children really constitute sharing your feelings? I think that's an odd example to make their point. While friends of 18 years should know that kind of stuff, it's not like he's revealing marital problems or disclosing a chronic illness.

    I question how close these friends really are. While I understand that maybe some straight men are a little less emotionally expressive, I think with their closest friends, they're just as sensitive as anyone else.
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    Apr 08, 2010 10:11 AM GMT
    That article had some truth to it. It is hard for guys in their 30s to make friends.

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    Apr 08, 2010 10:38 AM GMT
    We have a number of straight guys in my online gay prostate cancer support group. They come to a gay support group, they say, because we speak about the side effects, which are sexual and involve the dick, more openly, than straight guys do.
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    Apr 08, 2010 11:07 AM GMT
    Good article. I often wonder what goes on in straight guys heads. I can tell that they are not processing environmental information the same way I do. Being an extreme homosexual, I could tell even as a teenager, that I was not responding to the world like the other guys.
  • pixel

    Posts: 26

    Apr 08, 2010 11:42 AM GMT
    i wish i have a best friend...
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    Apr 08, 2010 1:09 PM GMT
    I just made friends with a co-worker. We have butted heads because of some of the very things in the article. I come from a family where everything is out in the open, so that you can process it, deal with it, and move on. Not keep it bottled up until you explode.

    The co-worker, who is straight, is finally starting to open up more.
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    Apr 08, 2010 1:54 PM GMT
    I just had a long heartfelt talk with my older bro.

    And I had a long conversation with a straight bartender friend of mine who works in a gay bar. He told me he was sorry that another bartender was nasty and stupid with me last week. He also told me that idiot was fired right away. My friend wanted to make sure I was ok and to top it all off, he told me whatever i want to drink in on the house.