Why does it seem impossible to have "normal" gay friends....

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 08, 2010 10:26 PM GMT
    that don't do drugs. Don't sleep around and don't hate all straight people.


    All my friends are straight. I would love to have a few gay male friends that can respect the fact that I don't do drugs and don't believe in being a slut. I want gay male friends that also respect the fact that I'm in a long term relationship and wont try to make things more than friendship.

    I know it must be a tired rant and I'm tired of bitching about it...but it would be nice to have that kind of connection with a good friend. My straight friends are truly amazing, but they just don't 'get' gay issues and feelings. It's like somethings vital is missing with my friendships.


    I guess I can continue to blame my city until I move.icon_confused.gif
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Apr 08, 2010 10:40 PM GMT
    Maybe you have been looking in the wrong places....I have never done any sort of recreational drug, I don't sleep around and I have many straight men as friends... icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 08, 2010 11:39 PM GMT
    malefeet saidMaybe you have been looking in the wrong places....I have never done any sort of recreational drug, I don't sleep around and I have many straight men as friends... icon_wink.gif


    No chance you're in Marion County, Florida? lol
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 08, 2010 11:42 PM GMT
    hey there

    i'm another guy who has never touched any substances, rarely drink, have never smoked and all of my friends are straight except for one!

    oh, and i don't sleep around... i've always been in it for the long run...

    I agree, you must be hanging around the wrong sort of people... i live by my own personal rule that if you go looking for trouble, you'll find it...

    i don't care to find it...

  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Apr 08, 2010 11:43 PM GMT
    KDean861 said
    malefeet saidMaybe you have been looking in the wrong places....I have never done any sort of recreational drug, I don't sleep around and I have many straight men as friends... icon_wink.gif


    No chance you're in Marion County, Florida? lol



    No, but I could be one day....and what's wrong with a long-distance friendship?icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 08, 2010 11:48 PM GMT
    A guy dies and wakes up to find he is in hell. He's really depressed as he stands in the processing line waiting to talk to an admittance counselor.

    He thinks to himself "I know I lead a wild life but I wasn't that bad. I never thought it would come to this." Looking up he sees that it is his turn to be processed into hell. With fear and a heavy heart, he walks up to the counselor.

    Counselor: What's the problem, you look depressed?

    Guy: Well, what do you think? I'm in hell.

    Counselor: Hell's not so bad, we actually have a lot of fun. Do you like to drink?

    Guy: Sure, I love to drink.

    Counselor: Well then, you are going to love Mondays. On Mondays we drink up a storm. You can have whiskey, rum, tequila, beer, whatever you want and as much a you want. We party all night long. You'll love Mondays. Do you smoke?

    Guy: Yes, as a matter of fact I do.

    Counselor: You are going to love Tuesdays. Tuesday is smoke day. You get to smoke the finest cigars and best cigarettes available anywhere. And you smoke to your heart's desire without worrying about cancer because you are already dead! Is that great or what? You are going to love Tuesdays. Do you do drugs?

    Guy: Well in my younger days I experimented a little.

    Counselor: You are going to love Wednesdays. That's drug day. You can experiment with any drug you want and you don't have to worry about overdoses or getting hooked because you are already dead. You are going to love Wednesdays. Do you gamble?

    Guy: Yes, I love to gamble.

    Counselor: You are going to love Thursdays because we gamble all day and night -- black jack, craps, poker, slots, horse races, everything! You are going to love Thursdays. Are you gay?

    Guy: Uhh...no.

    Counselor: Oh , you're gonna hate Fridays...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 08, 2010 11:50 PM GMT
    You're in Marion County. That's why.

    If you were in a place with a wider selection of gays, it would be much easier to find like-minded gay friends.

    Sorry to be so blunt. icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 08, 2010 11:53 PM GMT
    I can relate to you on that one. Maybe it's where you've been looking.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 08, 2010 11:54 PM GMT
    Soulasphyx saidI can relate to you on that one. Maybe it's where you've been looking.
    I heard Spring Lake Park is a good place. icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 09, 2010 12:02 AM GMT
    I hear you man; it’s even harder to find another gay couple, truly monogamous, that just want to hang out and not make out.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 09, 2010 12:05 AM GMT
    You want them to be "normal", drug-free, AND not hate all straight people? The last guy like that got nailed to a cross for his perfection. I think you should shoot for 2 out of 3.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 09, 2010 12:11 AM GMT
    McGay saidYou want them to be "normal", drug-free, AND not hate all straight people? The last guy like that got nailed to a cross for his perfection. I think you should shoot for 2 out of 3.



    Okay, I might concede on the hating of straight people. I'd like my gay friends to not...automatically think all straight people are close minded bigots. Which a fast majority in my area are...but...still. (I know that sounds weak but it's the best I've got right now.)



    paulflexes saidYou're in Marion County. That's why.

    If you were in a place with a wider selection of gays, it would be much easier to find like-minded gay friends.

    Sorry to be so blunt. icon_smile.gif



    It's very true. I've honestly just given up. Until my boyfriend and I decide where we'd like to settle down, I'm okay with having all straight friends. There's nothing wrong with it. I guess I'm just greedy. I want friends that can understand the flipside firsthand too.
  • ChilaxinJOCK0...

    Posts: 1513

    Apr 09, 2010 12:29 AM GMT
    me too, i need some gay friends...BAD

    i think i need to get out south carolina lol
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 09, 2010 12:35 AM GMT
    Normal doesn't exist. Wake up from your dream. icon_confused.gif
  • wellwell

    Posts: 2265

    Apr 09, 2010 12:39 AM GMT
    Your first mistake may have been using the words 'normal' and 'gay' in the same sentence, or equating them at all.

    (I describe myself as: non-hetero. I'm disgraced by "The Community")
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 09, 2010 12:42 AM GMT
    wellwell saidYour first mistake may have been using the words 'normal' and 'gay' in the same sentence, or equating them at all.

    (I describe myself as: non-hetero. I'm disgraced by "The Community")


    All things considered, do you think "The Community" is disgraced by you?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 09, 2010 12:43 AM GMT
    I think you just have to stop looking for the perfect mate.

    Everyone has their flaws. This is usually why we have a variety of different friends in life.

    Some gay mates of mine party every weekend, some not at all. Some do drugs (just usually for dance parties), some are totally abstinent.

    Start spending more time discovering people for their minds and hearts. Be yourself with them. The value you get out of you friends comes from your own attitude and expectations.
  • BIG_N_TALL

    Posts: 2190

    Apr 09, 2010 12:44 AM GMT
    I don't do recreational drugs and I don't sleep around either... it's not my style. I have some gay friends that I know from college that keep in touch via Facebook, and some from a local gay rights ("social justice") organization in Charleston, SC that are really nice and considerate. I also know some gay guys that are resentful of me for some reason... and I don't know why.

    I think it may be the perception that since I don't go to gay clubs and gay bars, I am somehow "better" than you average gay guy. I am just not into the gay club scene. I also don't hate straight people.
  • BIG_N_TALL

    Posts: 2190

    Apr 09, 2010 12:45 AM GMT
    ChilaxinJOCK09 saidme too, i need some gay friends...BAD

    i think i need to get out south carolina lol


    I agree wholeheartedly with you...
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Apr 09, 2010 12:47 AM GMT
    ChilaxinJOCK09 saidme too, i need some gay friends...BAD

    i think i need to get out south carolina lol



    Come to Vegas......icon_twisted.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 09, 2010 2:58 AM GMT
    "Normal" people are boring.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 09, 2010 3:05 AM GMT
    paulflexes said
    Soulasphyx saidI can relate to you on that one. Maybe it's where you've been looking.
    I heard Spring Lake Park is a good place. icon_wink.gif
    icon_lol.gif

    Hey, I went there this Saturday!
  • PipHop

    Posts: 439

    Apr 09, 2010 3:19 AM GMT
    Hate to say it, but after moving up to the big city of Chicago from a town in Florida, but a larger gay community doesn't automatically mean that you'll find too many people with those same traits - trust me I have tried mighty hard. You'll just have to put your foot down on the issues that affect you the most personally (people that do drugs, exceptionally flirty friends) and ask them to keep other indiscretions (i.e. rampant promiscuity and drama) to themselves. Or hang out with them in limited doses. I have taken to telling my friends up here that I need time outs from gayness LOL.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 09, 2010 3:20 AM GMT
    I don't hate straight people, but I see them in the same way as gays. They do drugs and have all kinds of crazy sex that no one ever notices. They're just good at keeping it in the closet, and gays don't see a point in that anymore. Drugs is the only bit that I disapprove of, but I'd rather hang out with people who do drugs than ones whose reason for not doing them is because of some dogmatic indoctrination that they've never challenged.
  • dreamer121

    Posts: 265

    Apr 09, 2010 3:34 AM GMT
    ChilaxinJOCK09 saidme too, i need some gay friends...BAD

    i think i need to get out south carolina lol



    um... I'll be your friend. yessir.