i hate to be rude but.......

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    Apr 10, 2010 6:53 PM GMT
    i hate whenever i call home to talk to my other family members and they keep asking me if i have a girlfriend even tho they know im gay...i get so fucking pissed. as its like they are blocking out the thought of me being gay. So this is what i did just now when one of them asked if i have a girlfriend...."you should mind your own business"...thats what i said. Am i the only one that this is happening to?
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    Apr 10, 2010 7:04 PM GMT
    Theyre just in denial or trying to force you into heterosexuality. Next time say no but theres this guy ive been having a lot of hot sex with lately. that might shut them up. You gotta play hardball... lol
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Apr 10, 2010 7:23 PM GMT
    I just tell them..."No, but there's this really nice guy that I'm dating" icon_wink.gif
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    Apr 10, 2010 7:25 PM GMT
    "Have you got a girlfriend yet?"

    "No, Mom, but there is this really hot guy I´m seeing".

    End Game.
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    Apr 10, 2010 7:41 PM GMT
    tereseus1 saidi hate whenever i call home to talk to my other family members and they keep asking me if i have a girlfriend even tho they know im gay...i get so fucking pissed. as its like they are blocking out the thought of me being gay. So this is what i did just now when one of them asked if i have a girlfriend...."you should mind your own business"...thats what i said. Am i the only one that this is happening to?


    Keep It Simple Silly. Just say, "I prefer guys, in case you didn't know, and, no, I don't have a boyfriend, but, thanks for asking. If you know a hottie, let me know!"

    Next item.
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    Apr 10, 2010 7:49 PM GMT
    Say "no, but how is YOUR sex life?:
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    Apr 10, 2010 7:51 PM GMT
    tereseus1 said So this is what i did just now when one of them asked if i have a girlfriend...."you should mind your own business"...thats what i said.


    Sassy!
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    Apr 10, 2010 7:54 PM GMT
    tereseus1 saidi hate whenever i call home to talk to my other family members and they keep asking me if i have a girlfriend even tho they know im gay...i get so fucking pissed. as its like they are blocking out the thought of me being gay. So this is what i did just now when one of them asked if i have a girlfriend...."you should mind your own business"...thats what i said. Am i the only one that this is happening to?
    You're too fucking nice.
    Just tell'm to fuck off and not to call again 'till they can come to grips with your sexuality...then hang up before they can reply.

    It worked with my family. Took two months before they called back, but it worked. icon_biggrin.gif
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    Apr 10, 2010 8:01 PM GMT
    After I moved to Phoenix, my brother would call me every Sunday afternoon and somewhere during the conversation he would ask me if I had met any nice girls. One Sunday when he did this, I said no...but I have met a really nice guy and I think I am going to bring him with me when I come visit this summer.....
    DEAD SILENCE....but it worked and no one in my family has ever asked me that again. Now they ask if I am seeing anyone and if I am they ask about him.
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    Apr 10, 2010 8:02 PM GMT
    tereseus1 saidi hate whenever i call home to talk to my other family members and they keep asking me if i have a girlfriend even tho they know im gay...i get so fucking pissed. as its like they are blocking out the thought of me being gay. So this is what i did just now when one of them asked if i have a girlfriend...."you should mind your own business"...thats what i said. Am i the only one that this is happening to?


    They are being sarcastic and rude to you and giving no answer to them is the best course of action. They are looking to get you all pissed. Don't fall into their trap.
  • CarbGoggles

    Posts: 705

    Apr 10, 2010 8:02 PM GMT
    Tell them you're fuckn a few hoes on the side but nothing serious.
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    Apr 10, 2010 8:04 PM GMT
    I prefer being sarcastic back (using that line that is mentioned numerous times on this thread). Works wonders.
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    Apr 10, 2010 8:09 PM GMT
    My parents accepted me, but not my older brother. He continually makes sarcastic remarks to me just like this. Whenever he makes saracastic remarks or questions me like that, I totally ignore him and walk away.
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    Apr 10, 2010 8:17 PM GMT
    tereseus1 saidI hate whenever i call home to talk to my other family members and they keep asking me if i have a girlfriend even tho they know im gay...i get so fucking pissed. as its like they are blocking out the thought of me being gay.


    Honestly I am sorry that you are in this situation, but there will be others out there, who have a similar story to yours and you might need to seek counselling to meet others and gain some help and insight into these issues because the most important thing is not be ashamed of yourself. Just stay strong!,however don't contrain yourself to a label.
  • jgymnast733

    Posts: 1783

    Apr 10, 2010 8:34 PM GMT
    Dear God Yes,
    I had relatives who'd ask me that all the time while growing up, mean while their sons' are all either in jail or making babys with anything that moves, Yet they have the fucking gaul to think fucking a pussy makes you a man..
    NOW, whenever i see any of them they have the nerve to ask me if i can get THEM a job, so, one of their sons asked me to help him get a job,,,, i pulled a few strings and got him in on the ground level which got him into the union and starting him out making $25Dollars an hour.. Would you believe he turned the job down,,icon_eek.gif His reason was ' I cant work on sundays, i'll miss watching football'''...icon_evil.gif...TRUE STORY....
    So dear, Do your thing and dont allow anyones mind games to trip you up, the cream always raises to the top......
    When i was growing up i had to put up with relatives bullshit, Now that i'm an adult and got it going on they cant say shit.....
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    Apr 10, 2010 8:38 PM GMT
    Like i understand..but im wondering at what point will they stop asking...im really considering just stop talking to them and cut all ties...but at the same time they are my family and i love them..and they live in a country where the issue is really taboo.
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    Apr 10, 2010 8:39 PM GMT
    hardonguy saidMy parents accepted me, but not my older brother. He continually makes sarcastic remarks to me just like this. Whenever he makes saracastic remarks or questions me like that, I totally ignore him and walk away.
    I went four years without talking to my older brother because of that.

    Then we talked one weekend last year - face to face - and I got to give him a piece of my mind (respectfully, though...no harsh words this time).

    He hasn't called since.

    Oh well. We're both adopted from different families anyway, so I really don't give a fuck. icon_lol.gif
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    Apr 10, 2010 8:46 PM GMT
    tereseus1 saidLike i understand..but im wondering at what point will they stop ask...im really considering just stop talking to them and cut all ties...but at the same time they are my family and i love them..and they live in a country where the issue is really taboo.


    They may never stop asking. But that doesn't mean you have to "play the game". You can just smile, hug them, say "I love you", and maybe add something like "I have lots of love in my life just the way I am".

    Families tend to have 'old patterns" of behavior. Culture can play a huge part as well. Break the mold and the confines of culture by just being you.

    Think long and hard about cutting ties unless they are really being abusive. I've learned how to maneuver the conversation away from controversial topics in a polite and gentle way. And, when some other family member seems to be hell bent on discussion something which I see escalating into a "family celebration" (read: arguement), I politely excuse myself from the gathering and go back to my hotel, or just go for a walk.

    We don't get to choose our family. But they are with us our whole lives. And, we may find that we may miss them when either they or we are gone. Enjoy what time you have with them. Even the pippy ones.

    Besides, there are many other wonderful and happy things to talk about.

    Aloha and Be Well!

    Alan
  • jgymnast733

    Posts: 1783

    Apr 10, 2010 8:47 PM GMT
    tereseus1 saidLike i understand..but im wondering at what point will they stop asking...im really considering just stop talking to them and cut all ties...but at the same time they are my family and i love them..and they live in a country where the issue is really taboo.

    Hunny, they will continue to ask and its taboo everywhere.. The question is, how long will you accept being the punching bag.....
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    Apr 10, 2010 8:54 PM GMT
    naivenewbie saidTheyre just in denial or trying to force you into heterosexuality. Next time say no but theres this guy ive been having a lot of hot sex with lately. that might shut them up. You gotta play hardball... lol

    I had this with my parents, too. They knew I was gay (actually even before I realized it myself), but believed that being gay was a "phase" that I could grow out of. In their view, finding a nice girl was just the medicine I needed to make it happen.

    I would guess the OP's family holds that's same belief, that being gay is merely a choice or a changeable condition, that can be altered with the right motivation. After all, that's what thousands of fundamentalist preachers and right-wing politicians and talk show hosts are telling Americans every day.
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    Apr 10, 2010 8:58 PM GMT
    tereseus1 saidLike i understand..but im wondering at what point will they stop asking...im really considering just stop talking to them and cut all ties...but at the same time they are my family and i love them..and they live in a country where the issue is really taboo.
    That's really what you need to do.
    You might love them, but the question is "do they also love you?"
    The only way to find the answer is to put the ball in their court. If you cut ties and they call you, then they love you. If not, then at least you'll know, and you can go on with your life.
  • jgymnast733

    Posts: 1783

    Apr 10, 2010 9:00 PM GMT
    paulflexes said
    tereseus1 saidLike i understand..but im wondering at what point will they stop asking...im really considering just stop talking to them and cut all ties...but at the same time they are my family and i love them..and they live in a country where the issue is really taboo.
    That's really what you need to do.
    You might love them, but the question is "do they also love you?"
    The only way to find the answer is to put the ball in their court. If you cut ties and they call you, then they love you. If not, then at least you'll know, and you can go on with your life.

    icon_idea.gificon_idea.gif AMENicon_idea.gificon_idea.gif
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    Apr 10, 2010 9:05 PM GMT
    tereseus1 saidLike i understand..but im wondering at what point will they stop asking...im really considering just stop talking to them and cut all ties...but at the same time they are my family and i love them..and they live in a country where the issue is really taboo.


    I came out to my parents 6 years ago and they still ask me about there being a possbility of me liking girls.
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    Apr 11, 2010 12:38 AM GMT
    I'd just say, "No, I still don't have a girlfriend, and I never will, so last time I'm answering this question. Next time you ask, I'm hanging up."
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    Apr 11, 2010 2:04 AM GMT
    Ha...my mother still calls my partner of almost 9 years, my roommate.
    I just gave up and ignore it.