BENEFIT OF A PARTNER: Name one positive contribution your relationship has made in your life

  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Jan 25, 2008 4:38 PM GMT
    I've been pretty lucky. I've had one partner or boyfriend in my life and it has largely been a success.
    (nothings perfect). I hear about others and their issues and I'm always glad I have what I do.

    There are many things I can thank my bf for over the years, but for those of you who are involved or have been in the past with someone, what one thing can you point to that you have learned, appreciated or discovered as a result of that relationship?

    For me, I think its a sensitivity about dogs and animals. I think I always had it, but my boyfriend really has been the impetus of that renewed sensitivity. I'll always credit that to him, nobody else.

    But in the larger picture, he helped guide me through the process of sexual acceptance of who I am. Its been a very rewarding 11 years (October, 2009)
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    Jan 25, 2008 6:21 PM GMT
    Gosh, basically, being with my husband has made me a better person.
    I'm more self-confident than I used to be, and more outgoing.
    I'm glad there is someone always there for me when I have a rough day and wants to brighten my spirits.
    I'm glad there is someone I can just be downright silly in front of, and will laugh at my stupid jokes (or my dancing which is totally hilarious)
    I'm glad I'm there when he needs someone to support him, to get him through his rough days.
    This can just go on and on....
    After 13 years, it's hard to imagine life without him.
  • jarhead5536

    Posts: 1348

    Jan 25, 2008 6:36 PM GMT
    Well, besides being deliriously happy, I feel at peace for the first time in my life. There is a stability, a security, and a sense of contentment and settledness that was lacking before. I don't feel like I'm drifting or searching for some intangible thing anymore. I think of myself as a grownup now, rather than a kid.

    I also think more about the future, rather than living always in the moment. I think about children, retirement, and generally living for something besides myself.
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    Jan 25, 2008 6:48 PM GMT
    There is no limit to what my partner has given me. I don't even like to think about the person I was before we met. Things just keep getting better and I love him with my entire soul and being.

    We have two little doggies (Charlie and Freddy) Wire Haired Dachsund brothers from the same litter. Michael is a supreme animal lover and he has re-awakened my love of animals.

    The four of us are a little family and I have never had that before. No one on earth is luckier than me and thank G-d for every day we have together.

    Last thing, he puts up with me. I am a pill, extremely difficult, super picky and overly orderly. No one else on earth could deal with my perfectionism I am certain about that.

    Like the rest of you, I could keep writing for a month and not touch the essence of what we have.

    Peace
    Terry
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    Jan 25, 2008 7:10 PM GMT
    HndsmKansan said... what one thing can you point to that you have learned, appreciated or discovered as a result of that relationship?...



    God - there are so many things.

    He has made me enormously more comfortable, confident with/in myself; just because I know he is there.

    I want to be better than I am becuse I want to give him everything I could be... everything I think he deserves.

    I can still laugh and play like a kid, at least with him. I think before him I had really forgotten how to just be free, with myself, with others...

    I guess the biggest suprise is the extent to which I want/look forward to 'domestic' life, the little things,

    And I have learned that when we go out with some of his Rugby friends not to even TRY to keep up with the rounds...icon_lol.gif

    I better stop before I start writing a whole book...
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    Jan 25, 2008 7:14 PM GMT
    My last partner got me through the death of my 12-year old Golden Retriever. I got her as an 8-week old puppy right after college, so she had been with me most of my adult life, and when she died unexpectedly of cancer, I was absolutely devastated. He was so supportive, so understanding, and so compassionate during my grief, that I will always love him for that alone. I honestly don't think I would have been able to make it without him, I was so distraught. And thought he had never owned a dog before, he was completely supportive in my decision to get another Golden puppy, and helped raise her though puppyhood.

    There are many other things that I learned from him to better myself, but that instance will always stand out for me.
  • jarhead5536

    Posts: 1348

    Jan 25, 2008 8:18 PM GMT
    ITJock said[quote][cite]HndsmKansan said[/cite]... what one thing can you point to that you have learned, appreciated or discovered as a result of that relationship?...



    I want to be better than I am becuse I want to give him everything I could be... everything I think he deserves.

    Wow, that almost brought tears to my eyes. What a beautiful sentiment...
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    Jan 25, 2008 8:33 PM GMT
    medfordguy saidGosh, basically, being with my husband has made me a better person.
    I'm more self-confident than I used to be, and more outgoing.
    I'm glad there is someone always there for me when I have a rough day and wants to brighten my spirits.
    I'm glad there is someone I can just be downright silly in front of, and will laugh at my stupid jokes (or my dancing which is totally hilarious)
    I'm glad I'm there when he needs someone to support him, to get him through his rough days.
    This can just go on and on....
    After 13 years, it's hard to imagine life without him.


    That's pretty much what I would have said, except for the dancing part - and that we're 8 years instead of 13.

    Congrats, MedfordGuy - when it's good, it's very very good, isn't it? Joey
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    Jan 25, 2008 8:39 PM GMT
    There are far too many contributions to name here, but I guess I can say that I probably wouldn't have accomplished all I have without him.
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    Jan 25, 2008 8:41 PM GMT
    Thanks Joey,

    There are always rough times, but you have to get through them together. But the good times really do outweigh the bad times.

    LatinMuscle mentioned losing his Golden Retriever, and I'm truly sorry for your loss. We had to put down our 16 year-old a couple of years because she got very ill and we just didn't want to her to suffer. Seperately, I don't how each of us would have gotten through it, but we got strength from each other.

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    Jan 25, 2008 9:52 PM GMT
    My partner is so lucky to have me that I've had to learn some humility.
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    Jan 25, 2008 10:25 PM GMT
    After 22 years of marriage and finally coming out, it was my wife who has supported me and encouraged me to find love. And if I don't, she says she'll still take care of me...even when I'm 80...almost makes me wonder why I came out....I said almost! LOL....The relationship will last forever, even if the marriage doesn't. That's a positive thing!
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    Jan 25, 2008 11:38 PM GMT
    My partner makes me laugh daily.
    He has a heart of gold.
    He is the best cook in the world.
    He treats me like a king.
    He has integrity and great values.
    He shows his love daily.

    and sex is outstanding.

    What more could I ask for!
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    Jan 25, 2008 11:57 PM GMT
    I understand this line because of him:

    "Some people spend there whole lives looking for what we've got."
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    Jan 26, 2008 10:16 PM GMT
    Being with my partner has allowed me to care and take care of another human being. He brings joy to my life and at the end of the day when I need something, he is a warm place to fall.
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    Jan 27, 2008 9:09 AM GMT
    looks like all of you have lovely stories to tell the whole world about...
    whilst me, being single at the mo, got me thanking my now-ex for SHOWING ME THINGS THAT I DO NOT WANT TO BECOME WHEN I REACH HIS AGE. he's 41 and in the closet. it put too much strain on the relationship that was doomed from the start. there was a lot of hard work from my side and it just gave me the complete opposite of what being in a relationship should be. it's exhaustingicon_cry.gif
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    Oct 29, 2009 11:51 AM GMT
    My partner has really allowed me to view the world from a different perspective on a lot of levels. I'm in the process of opening my own business so I spend a lot of hours working. My bf is so supportive and in return, I make time for us regardless of how busy I am. I feel like a great person when I am with him. It's great!
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    Oct 29, 2009 12:13 PM GMT
    He broke down many walls and returned me back to much of the things I forgot about after my fiance passed away... like painting, photography, nature, playing cello, my love for classical music, jazz, etc.. He's made me a stronger person and gives my life direction. Things aren't perfect and for the moment we are not officially together but are working things out and well... even still he's still the one that keeps me going and I am becoming a better man because of him.
  • drypin

    Posts: 1798

    Oct 29, 2009 12:34 PM GMT
    First off, thanks to HndsmKansan for this thought-provoking question!

    Though I enjoyed singlehood when I had it, my partner has been a godsend in several ways:

    While I believe I was already a good listener, I learned to communicate more clearly and authentically (less of this hiding what makes me angry stuff) by following his marvelous example.

    Again, by following his patient example I got my own finances in order and slowly paid off those f***ing private college loans after 18 years.

    I used to think I was poor at following through because I used to change careers so often (and don't ask how many times my major changed in school). He's helped me figure out I thrive on variety and diversity and actually feel much more empowered by doing so.

    He pushed me to overcome my inner Schweinehund, as the German's call it - lazy self, I suppose is how I'd translate it - and get back into fitness. In ten months I've dropped 25 pounds of fat and added about 10 pounds of muscle and I've never been more active. I feel better now than I did at 30.

    I had all these prepackaged ideas about what a relationship was (based on parents, movies, who-knows-what). We have slowly challenged most of those over the years, kept the ones that work for us, and discarded the rest.

    Again, while I was happy being single, I think I needed a LTR to make the kind of changes in my life I wanted to make.
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    Oct 29, 2009 2:11 PM GMT
    18.5 years of unconditional love
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    Oct 29, 2009 2:35 PM GMT
    His sense of humor. He had a way of lightening up a negative situation and making jokes that made bad times/things seem not so bad. There was nothing more comforting than to hear him respectfully make a joke about something that upset me and practically instantly, I felt better and happier.
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    Oct 29, 2009 2:36 PM GMT
    "How do I love thee?
    let me count the ways .."


    To avoid embarrassment on a public forum I'll withhold my sugary Valentine sentiments and just point out the 6,000 RJ threads bemoaning the single life.
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    Oct 29, 2009 3:17 PM GMT
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    Oct 29, 2009 3:30 PM GMT
    Lostboy saidlol-cats_i-love-this-thread-so-much.jpg

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    cute icon_biggrin.gif
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    Oct 29, 2009 4:05 PM GMT
    ObsceneWish saidMy partner is so lucky to have me that I've had to learn some humility.


    tons of humility...
    and to appreciat Jewel