What Is The Problem.....?

  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Apr 11, 2010 1:34 PM GMT
    thSIKEf.gif

    On many of the posts that I have visited lately, I see so many guys saying that they either are disappointed or have been disappointed by the gay men that they have been dating, or tried to date. What do you think the problem is?
    Why do so many gay men seem unable to find someone?...Or are unhappy with the one they do find?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 11, 2010 1:39 PM GMT
    Probably thousands and thousands of reasons, none of which are really any different for the same predicament that straight people experience.
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Apr 11, 2010 1:46 PM GMT
    I know we all have preferences, but it shouldn't be impossible for any guy to not find his one true partner.....I dunno.... icon_wink.gif
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Apr 11, 2010 1:49 PM GMT
    TheGuyNextDoor saidSometimes when you're young,,,, your expectations, i.e. the white picket fence, a dog in the yard etc. is something you have to work toward. Not entitled to or here for instant gratification like an iPhone text....

    There's a lot of give and take in any relationship and finding two guys on the same sexual and emotional level to pull that off is not always easy.. Sadly,,, you really do have to Kiss a few frogs before you find your Prince.
    He's out there for all of us... icon_cool.gif More coffee please ,, and perhaps round 2?...icon_cool.gif


    GREAT ANSWER !!! icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 11, 2010 1:53 PM GMT
    "one true partner"

    Phrases like this are at the top of the list of problems.

    As far as kissing frogs, we're all, at least at times, frogs. Some frogs are unwilling to recognize their frogliness and demand the company only of princes and princesses, who don't exist.
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Apr 11, 2010 1:59 PM GMT
    McGay said"one true partner"

    Phrases like this are at the top of the list of problems.

    As far as kissing frogs, we're all, at least at times, frogs. Some frogs are unwilling to recognize their frogliness and demand the company only of princes and princesses, who don't exist.


    Ok, Ok..perhaps I should have said...."Partner" instead...I stand corrected my friend.....and I agree with your "frog" comment...icon_wink.gif
  • zakariahzol

    Posts: 2241

    Apr 11, 2010 2:09 PM GMT
    Most gay men is into sex only. Every few of us are intrested in commitment or settling down with one person.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 11, 2010 8:06 PM GMT
    Someone should do a study on it. I would be interested to see how many guys are partnered and what happens to them. What is the average length of a gay relationship, do they stop going to the clubs, move to the suburbs, etc. I suppose we could look at gay marriage in places where they allow it. How many divorced, etc. It would make a good magazine article. Has anyone read any stats ?
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Apr 11, 2010 8:12 PM GMT
    acadian saidSomeone should do a study on it. I would be interested to see how many guys are partnered and what happens to them. What is the average length of a gay relationship, do they stop going to the clubs, move to the suburbs, etc. I suppose we could look at gay marriage in places where they allow it. How many divorced, etc. It would make a good magazine article. Has anyone read any stats ?


    I am in the process of doing such a study now.....so please give me your input as to what you think the problem is my friend. icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 11, 2010 8:27 PM GMT
    love all the answers on this thread.
    we all have to meet our share of "idiots" in order to realize when the "one" comes along. icon_smile.gif

    im still on the lookout... damn. lol
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 11, 2010 9:36 PM GMT
    I don't know many gay guys in happy relationships who feel the need to post about their dating success in the RJ forums. We mostly hear about the negative stuff. Also.. I gotta agree with the other guys who mentioned it's not just the gays. I'm sure there's a straight version of the RJ site out there somewhere. I'm sure their forums are filled with the same kind of frustration.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 11, 2010 10:05 PM GMT
    malefeet saidWhy do so many gay men seem unable to find someone?


    Where is it written that we're all going to find someone? Only in faiytales and bad Hollywood movies, that I'm aware of.
  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    Apr 11, 2010 10:08 PM GMT
    too many guys want porn star perfect when, like most of us in the real world, they are far from this image themselves.
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Apr 11, 2010 10:08 PM GMT
    unfounded7 said
    malefeet saidWhy do so many gay men seem unable to find someone?


    Where is it written that we're all going to find someone? Only in faiytales and bad Hollywood movies, that I'm aware of.


    Well, I will admit that there are times that I do enjoy being single and playing to my own time signature.....but there are other times that it's nice to have someone to come home to. icon_wink.gif
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Apr 11, 2010 10:09 PM GMT
    rnch saidtoo many guys want porn star perfect when, like most of us in the real world, they are far from this image themselves.


    I think you have a very valid point.....icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 11, 2010 11:27 PM GMT
    malefeet saidthSIKEf.gif
    What do you think the problem is?
    Why do so many gay men seem unable to find someone?...Or are unhappy with the one they do find?


    I have often wondered the same question. While I have not met as many guys as I would like (most don't, I'm guessing), I've met great guys and been very happy with dating them, excluding the nutcases. Generally, when things do go south, I find that I am equally responsible. Maybe guys don't like to admit that they may be part of the problem; it's a lot easier to always blame the other guy or guys in general. I know I try to until I take a hard look at myself and who I am.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 11, 2010 11:29 PM GMT
    malefeet saidthSIKEf.gif

    On many of the posts that I have visited lately, I see so many guys saying that they either are disappointed or have been disappointed by the gay men that they have been dating, or tried to date. What do you think the problem is?
    Why do so many gay men seem unable to find someone?...Or are unhappy with the one they do find?


    Gay men are assholes..... this is nothing new

    What makes me wonder is why men on here continue to let that surprise them
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 11, 2010 11:32 PM GMT
    MsclDrew = smart man
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 11, 2010 11:45 PM GMT
    Because most gay men have motivational systems that are shame-based, as evidenced by the constant need for validation. It comes from the void in childhood of not getting what you want. That breeds perfectionism. Many want, "the perfect guy," and since nobody's perfect...
  • chris_dallas

    Posts: 340

    Apr 11, 2010 11:51 PM GMT
    there are more dissapointments then happy ones cuz there are very view that one person will b able to spend the rest of their life with happily
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 11, 2010 11:57 PM GMT
    malefeeet said
    unfounded7 saidWhere is it written that we're all going to find someone? Only in faiytales and bad Hollywood movies, that I'm aware of.


    Well, I will admit that there are times that I do enjoy being single and playing to my own time signature.....but there are other times that it's nice to have someone to come home to. icon_wink.gif


    I agree that it would nice, perhaps even wonderful, to have someone to come home to. I'd guess most people would agree with that. But that doesn't mean it's going to happen. And I can't say that I see it happening all that frequently in the "real" world. Perhaps the problem arises from thinking a romantic relationship is something that should be happening.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 12, 2010 12:03 AM GMT
    Impossible standards and expectations that even the person who sets them can't match and uphold to yet want others to. That would be one problem for sure that is grossly inflicted on the majority of people who feel they can't find anyone. Also some people feel entitled to be in a perfect relationship and just thing it's magically gonna happen like some fairy tale and put forth no effort to actually make it happen. Those would probably be the biggest two right there in my opinion.

    A lot of people just don't wanna look within and can't see themselves as the problem so naturally when people can't consider themselves the problem they blame others or something in their life. I'd say it's a defense mechanism to not handling a painful truth.
  • Anto

    Posts: 2035

    Apr 12, 2010 3:48 AM GMT
    I think the biggest problem is that there are just so few gay guys.

    McGay,
    I disagree, straight people don't have to deal with a lot of the issues gay people have to deal with.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 12, 2010 4:06 AM GMT
    well.......
    in my opinion i find that alot of gay guys dont want a commitment, they just wanna have fun (fuck and move on)
    or just want an open relationship and i think this is the main reason so many gay guys end up hurt