My role in life ...

  • SoDakGuy

    Posts: 1862

    Jan 25, 2008 10:23 PM GMT
    You know what? I realized last night what my role is, so far, in my life w/ regards to dating. I'm the starter boyfriend. You know ... I'm the test run just before they go into their long term relationship. I think almost every guy I've dated soon meets "the one" they settle down with for ever or a lengthy extended period of time.

    And I have no idea why. I kinda get scared when I meet a great guy that we'll break up and he'll meet "the one" that's not me.

    My friend, Shane, is the same way w/ women. He dates these women and after they break up, the women meet their long term relationship.

    Does anyone feel like this?
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    Jan 25, 2008 10:45 PM GMT
    Who did they date before you? Did they have previous long term relationships or were they inexperienced?
  • SoDakGuy

    Posts: 1862

    Jan 25, 2008 10:46 PM GMT
    For question #2 ... yes.
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    Jan 26, 2008 2:27 AM GMT
    I am "The 2nd Choice."

    I will casually date a guy for awhile and go with the flow. Then once I am comfortable enough I will initiate the next step. Possibly want to see more of them; become a little closer. Most of the time it will come with some friendly resistance.

    Once they are ready, we will move on to the next step and all will be well. At some point down the line, I will find out that the said past resistance came because they were possibly dating another guy or two which didnt work out in his favor so they chose me; their 'back-up.'

    I would find this out then dump thier asses because quite honestly I am intrested in finding someone that has me in mind as thier # 1. I have too much to offer then to settle for 2nd.

    All major relationships I have had fell within this group and story.

    I guess if I went to clubs, I would be the guy you go home with after all the guys you originally wanted went home with other people. In that situation, I would probably be using you just the same.
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    Jan 26, 2008 2:45 AM GMT
    SoDakGuy.... how do you know these exes aren't just blowing smoke up your ass, trying to make you feel like they've done so much better than you? Are you sure they've really entered LTRs, or might they just be trying to make you think that?
  • SoDakGuy

    Posts: 1862

    Jan 26, 2008 11:44 PM GMT
    Have you seen "Good Luck Chuck"? That's me.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Good_Luck_Chuck

    I pray that I meet that guy who loves me for me - flaws and all.

    I've been out for over 11 years and my longest relationship was 6 months.

    The quality of men have changed drastically in a year, I must say. I am improving, but I don't know.

    I really don't.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 30, 2008 8:00 AM GMT
    [quote]

    [cite]SoDakGuy said[/cite]Have you seen "Good Luck Chuck"? That's me.

    [/quote]

    I was going to ask you if you've seen that movie. My problem tends to be that I either turn them straight or I send them back to women. I dated a couple of guys where I was the first guy that they ever dated, and then they would dump me and go back to dating women. It's a little frustrating.
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    Jan 30, 2008 8:18 AM GMT
    The last guy I dated... and it was very briefly that we dated... was my Good Luck Chuck, I think. He was the first guy I'd dated after 11 years of not dating anyone (long story there, but it was by choice), and the very next guy I met turned out to be "The One"... and I met both of them when I wasn't even looking for anyone.

    Thing is, I still feel bad about Good Luck Chuck... he was a really sweet guy, but just not the guy for me...