Having a crush on an internet profile???

  • Nayro

    Posts: 1825

    Apr 13, 2010 9:58 AM GMT
    Hi,

    I met this one guy on a site. He's from Amsterdam, 25y old and looks very good. I messaged him and he sent me back a couple of short messages since I didn't have any pictures on that profile he didn't really want to invest time in it. But I kept on reacting back on the short responses he wrote and tried it to make it as funny as possible... and it worked. I got him talking and we got along fine. We added eachother on msn and talked there for 2 hours yesterday. It felt really good and just on the moment when I thought it felt good and we clicked he wrote it down, he also said that I was really understanding what he told me and he liked it very much.. So it was mutual.
    I really like this guy, he is very hot and he has a great personality. We talked about fakers for a while and we both said we hated them and I asked him if he was really the guy on the pics and he said ye, ofc I am. (I know... Like he would admit that he isn't but ok..) I have a webcam so I can proof that I am actually who I say I am. I didn't see a webcam icon at his pic, meaning he prolly doesn't have one. I saw three pictures of him in total, 2 on his profile and 1 on his msn. I also saw his Dutch version of Facebook and he has only 1 pic there and like 10 friends... So you can see my doubts maybe. I want to believe that he is who he claims he is, and the way he responded about everything and talked to me suggests that he really is... Fakers would ask you to turn on the cam, show more pics and talk about sex all the time and he did none of that... He just wanted to get to know me. So what is ur opinion?... is he real?
  • MikemikeMike

    Posts: 6932

    Apr 13, 2010 10:19 AM GMT
    impetuous youthicon_idea.gif

    There was a thread like this, very similar, but the one who wrote the post said he loved the guy??? He talked with him for 6 months and after 9 they agreed to meet. He was gonna marry this guy. It turned out the picture was a fake and when they met all this supposed love evaporated and all the BS they had in common-finishing each other's sentences etc blah blah. Is love blind? No. There is something to be said for physical attraction.

    Then the poster wanted sympathy from RJ member's-he got panned.

    Was the guy in love-doubt it. It sounded like a crush. Keep it that way and find someone who you know in real life, and don't run after some idilogical unattainable love. Is twilight is your favorite movie??

    Are you the type that can fall in love with a picture and a voice??.."kids u know I love em" beetlejuse quote o' the day.icon_rolleyes.gif

    Barnes and Noble sells a webcam for dummies for10 bucks. At the very least send it before you buy that plane ticket.icon_lol.gificon_idea.gificon_idea.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 13, 2010 10:25 AM GMT
    Ask him to chat with you on webcam if you're not sure. You don't have to say it's because you have suspicions, you can just say you like to be able to chat 'face-to-face' with people.

    If he gets cagey about it then he's probably a faker! There's very few good excuses for not getting a webcam these days, if you're serious about wanting to chat to guys online (I don't have one, but that's because I'm partnered and not interested in webcamming with other guys).
  • Nayro

    Posts: 1825

    Apr 13, 2010 10:58 AM GMT
    well yeah im in the netherlands as well though not in Amsterdam, there's more than Amsterdam here icon_razz.gif

    also Mike, what is Impetuous icon_razz.gif And there is a reason that I said I have a crush and I'm not in love yet. There is a difference between the two. Why would some1 get panned for getting lied too? Ofcourse he shouldve asked for more id verification and stuff but if you have the feeling you click with some1 so much then I guess feeling sometimes wins from the logic mindicon_smile.gif


    edit: I thought panned meant something bad... so this comment only makes sense if you replace panned by getting crushed or stepped on or something icon_razz.gif
  • Laurence

    Posts: 942

    Apr 13, 2010 11:03 AM GMT
    Who knows if he's lying or not.

    Ask him to mail you some more pics of himself. This 2010, he must have access to a camera and ability to send you pics.

    If he can't provide more evidence, then maybe you should be a bit more cautious.

    It does no harm to keep your wits about you.

    Good luck

    Loz
  • Nayro

    Posts: 1825

    Apr 13, 2010 11:12 AM GMT
    ok thanks, isnt that a bit of a stereotype though? (Which I am confirming with this topic) icon_razz.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 13, 2010 1:14 PM GMT
    Never, ever fall in love with anyone online. Words, pics, chat, cam doesn't make up the whole picture. What you see is what you get.

    Meet the guy in person and follow your gut. If it all seems legit, follow your heart (after a few dates).
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 13, 2010 1:40 PM GMT
    If he's unwilling to send recent pics or get on cam, he's either ugly as fuck or he thinks he's ugly as fuck. Either way he's got self-esteem issues and isn't worth the trouble of continuing a e-friendship.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 13, 2010 2:10 PM GMT
    Niceguy89 saidHi,

    I met this one guy on a site. He's from Amsterdam, 25y old and looks very good.. He just wanted to get to know me. So what is ur opinion?... is he real?


    Is he Real??? Are you talking about your real definition or his??

    If you take a course in optics you may realize almost no one here is their picture it is a 2D representation of a 3D object. A picture is a snap shot at a moment in time, they maybe better similar or worse than their picture you don't know until you meet them. People are dynamic always changing even when they think they are not. Change can be good or NOT so good.

    You are projecting your wants and desires on to some one you hardly know. You want a internet fantasy and love stay in cyber space. If you want to find out what the real world has in store for you then take the time to talk and meet the guy. Way too early to project who and what he is and what you are with him.

    You know sometimes in life you find out cute pretty things can bite and be nasty. It is part of the process
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 13, 2010 2:23 PM GMT
    He's playing with your gullibility most likely. Get out while you can.

    Always ask the dude to go on webcam to verify he is who he says he is. If he doesn't have one than you'll never be able to verify the pictures are of him, especially if the guy is thousands of miles away from where you are. You'll always be questioning, and in doubt which isn't a good state of mind to be in.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 13, 2010 3:28 PM GMT
    What feels like a good connection online or even on the phone doesn't always feel the same when you meet in person. I've been there and done that....more than once. If he's real, and I have my doubts, you'd still be wise not to allow yourself to become too emotionally invested in him. Try to simply enjoy chatting with someone you have something in common with. icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 13, 2010 3:30 PM GMT
    run. the. other. way.
  • Nayro

    Posts: 1825

    Apr 13, 2010 4:09 PM GMT
    all so negative... what if this is a real and good guy... Im probably too good of trust though.. I like to think its a good feature of me icon_razz.gif
  • Celticmusl

    Posts: 4330

    Apr 13, 2010 4:14 PM GMT
    I'm totally cool with what you're doing. It is very human to like another person for the reasons you have mentioned, and it's healthy.

    Yes, you can get hurt and there are guys out there that are total players and liars, but you already know that. Once the hammer comes down hopefully you weren't too stupid about everything and you didn't invest too much of your heart.

    Ask him to send you more pictures, after sending him a few in email context. You will know sooner or later if he is playing you or not.

    Have fun with it, revel in the fact that you met someone you can actually start liking for all the right reasons. But know that right now, it's just an internet-friend or internet-boyfriend, and it is very limited.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 13, 2010 4:28 PM GMT
    All I can tell you is that this is a really good scenario in which you shouldn't count your chickens before they've hatched.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 13, 2010 4:54 PM GMT
    Niceguy89 saidall so negative... what if this is a real and good guy... Im probably too good of trust though.. I like to think its a good feature of me icon_razz.gif


    i used to play a lot of racquetball. in that sport you have high percentage shots and low percentage shots. the low percentage shots, where you might spin around and hit the ball between your legs and aim for the spot about 1" off the floor in the corner, had a high pay off (usually a point) but they weren't called low-percentage for nothing. there was a very good chance you would miss that shot.

    meeting someone on the internet is a low-percentage shot.

    just sayin.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 13, 2010 6:13 PM GMT
    get him to cam. If he´s 25 he can cam. If he won´t then get as attached to him as you would if he looked like this .

    fat-shirtless-guy-eating-cheeseburger-1.

  • PatrickD81

    Posts: 69

    Apr 13, 2010 6:28 PM GMT
    I understand how you feel. Whenever I see a profile of a guy, and the pics don't include their face, or have it cut out/blurred out, I have a hard time thinking they're real. The same goes for guys with profile pics that look like frigging model pics. Some people are just too fake.

    My suggestion to you is to suggest that he meet you face to face one Saturday Afternoon. Pick a small cafe in Amsterdam. If he shows up, and looks like he does in his 1 pic, then great. If he doesn't look like his pic, or doesn't show up at all, then you got your answer.

    Regardless of what happens, you at least get a trip to Amsterdam out of it. icon_biggrin.gif
  • Nayro

    Posts: 1825

    Apr 13, 2010 6:28 PM GMT
    rangard said
    Niceguy89 saidall so negative... what if this is a real and good guy... Im probably too good of trust though.. I like to think its a good feature of me icon_razz.gif


    i used to play a lot of racquetball. in that sport you have high percentage shots and low percentage shots. the low percentage shots, where you might spin around and hit the ball between your legs and aim for the spot about 1" off the floor in the corner, had a high pay off (usually a point) but they weren't called low-percentage for nothing. there was a very good chance you would miss that shot.

    meeting someone on the internet is a low-percentage shot.

    just sayin.


    better a low percentage shot at love than none at all
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 13, 2010 7:40 PM GMT
    You'll never know unless you meet or cam.

    Best thing is just to be friends and friendly, but don't let your heart get caught up in it. He may or may not be real. But either way, don't invest your emotions until you meet in person.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 13, 2010 10:15 PM GMT
    Niceguy89 said
    rangard said
    Niceguy89 saidall so negative... what if this is a real and good guy... Im probably too good of trust though.. I like to think its a good feature of me icon_razz.gif


    i used to play a lot of racquetball. in that sport you have high percentage shots and low percentage shots. the low percentage shots, where you might spin around and hit the ball between your legs and aim for the spot about 1" off the floor in the corner, had a high pay off (usually a point) but they weren't called low-percentage for nothing. there was a very good chance you would miss that shot.

    meeting someone on the internet is a low-percentage shot.

    just sayin.


    better a low percentage shot at love than none at all


    that's very poetic.

    another example:

    most people who drink a lot of wine are familiar with the cork/stelvin closure (screw top) debate. many cork fans argue the romance of that "pop" when opening a great bottle of wine, one you've been waiting to open for that "just right" moment. but there is nothing romantic about opening that special bottle of wine and having it be corked, i.e., tasting like wet moldy cardboard. stelvins may not "pop" but they keep wine from tasting like wet cardboard....chances of "corked wine" with cork: 1 in 10 bottles is corked. chances of "corked wine" with a stelvin: 0. taste difference between a wine with a cork and a wine with screw top: no difference.

    sometimes realism trumps romance. in the case of corks and long-distance interwebz dating, it's probably best to err on the side of realism.
  • Nayro

    Posts: 1825

    Apr 13, 2010 11:13 PM GMT
    rangard said
    Niceguy89 said
    rangard said
    Niceguy89 saidall so negative... what if this is a real and good guy... Im probably too good of trust though.. I like to think its a good feature of me icon_razz.gif


    i used to play a lot of racquetball. in that sport you have high percentage shots and low percentage shots. the low percentage shots, where you might spin around and hit the ball between your legs and aim for the spot about 1" off the floor in the corner, had a high pay off (usually a point) but they weren't called low-percentage for nothing. there was a very good chance you would miss that shot.

    meeting someone on the internet is a low-percentage shot.

    just sayin.


    better a low percentage shot at love than none at all


    that's very poetic.

    another example:

    most people who drink a lot of wine are familiar with the cork/stelvin closure (screw top) debate. many cork fans argue the romance of that "pop" when opening a great bottle of wine, one you've been waiting to open for that "just right" moment. but there is nothing romantic about opening that special bottle of wine and having it be corked, i.e., tasting like wet moldy cardboard. stelvins may not "pop" but they keep wine from tasting like wet cardboard....chances of "corked wine" with cork: 1 in 10 bottles is corked. chances of "corked wine" with a stelvin: 0. taste difference between a wine with a cork and a wine with screw top: no difference.

    sometimes realism trumps romance. in the case of corks and long-distance interwebz dating, it's probably best to err on the side of realism.


    I liked ur last anology better, at least I had a chance there icon_sad.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 13, 2010 11:23 PM GMT
    Niceguy, I think you have already gotten good advice. My thoughts are to continue to chat with the guy if that seems to be going well. Just be aware that he may not be who he claims to be, so don't let yourself become too emotionally invested. And sooner, rather than later, set up a date to meet face to face to find out if he really is who he says he is. If he won't agree to that, I think you have your answer.

    As an aside, I really don't get the thought process behind someone with an online profile pretending to be someone they are not. I mean, I'd rather people see my pictures, age etc. and decide to move on, rather than pretend to be someone I'm not and know I'll eventually have to come clean else never meet face to face.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 13, 2010 11:46 PM GMT
    Lostboy saidget him to cam. If he´s 25 he can cam. If he won´t then get as attached to him as you would if he looked like this .

    fat-shirtless-guy-eating-cheeseburger-1.



    Lostboy if that is the real picture of you I would still be in love with you icon_redface.gif

    You throw the best kitties icon_redface.gificon_cool.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 13, 2010 11:57 PM GMT
    My friends and I had the discussion of internet crushes and how we "fill in the blanks" when chatting with people online. So, yes, the initial face to face meeting is pretty much key.
    I was lucky when I met my Detroit internet crush in Montreal last summer- he was/is a great guy and we had a lot of fun!