So I Fell Flat On My Face Last Night

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    Apr 14, 2010 3:19 PM GMT
    Last night was the monthly second-Tuesday meeting of the Wilton Manors, Florida city commission. And we'd been emailed to attend, to support a proposal for Wilton Drive improvements submitted by local merchants.

    Agreeing with the merchants' plan, I approached the podium to speak on its behalf. But the mike volume was so low that previous speakers could barely be heard in the room, which I stated at the onset of my remarks, and tried to overcome it with my usually loud public speaking voice.

    It totally failed me. I've been struggling with allergies for 2 weeks, and hadn't rehearsed speaking loudly. It wasn't until I was at the podium that I heard my voice break-up and have no volume, just a hoarse parody of myself. That threw me off, plus the mayor, whom we know, made a few cracks from his chair that I couldn't hear but drawing laughter, further unsettling me.

    So I did quite badly. With my partner in the audience, along with many of our friends, including our personal attorney, plus I also know most of the (mostly gay) city commission. Ever make a complete fool of yourself? I do it not infrequently, and last night was yet another sad example. icon_sad.gif

    One good thing: my partner hasn't said a word about it to me yet. Had I done well he would have commented. But his silence is telling, and much appreciated by me. Partners are as considerate when they say nothing, as when they offer compliments.
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    Apr 14, 2010 11:12 PM GMT
    OK, follow-up. I finally broached the subject with my partner this afternoon, and he was so sweet. He told me the comment the mayor made that I couldn't hear was that my hoarse voice was strong enough to be heard over the poor microphone, and my rambling remarks were actually fairly coherent.

    Well, I'm still not convinced, always the perfectionist. Which means next time I will do better, and correct my mistakes. This same agenda item about Wilton Drive development will return at the May meeting, and I intend to make my views known again, this time a bit better. I stubbed my toe this time, I won't do it again.
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    Apr 14, 2010 11:20 PM GMT
    I had to read a prayer at my high school graduation...pretty nervous...read the first line of the one the guy before me had just read....without thinking looked down and under my breath said "awww fuck"...unfortunately looking down put me about 1/2 cm from the mic

    And that is how I got dissowned by christian school and learned to dread public speaking


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    Apr 14, 2010 11:23 PM GMT
    MsclDrew saidI had to read a prayer at my high school graduation...pretty nervous...read the first line of the one the guy before me had just read....without thinking looked down and under my breath said "awww fuck"...unfortunately looking down put me about 1/2 cm from the mic

    And that is how I got dissowned by christian school and learned to dread public speaking




    ROFL...Ahhh, FUCK.

    http://www.metroplexwebs.com/realjock/fword.mp3
  • hdurdinr

    Posts: 699

    Apr 14, 2010 11:23 PM GMT
    Don't worry about it! It seems you're over-reacting somewhat - I'm sure you did much better than you think. I hate public speaking but on occasion I have to do it - I always think I did terribly but people generally tell me otherwise.
  • Sk8Tex

    Posts: 738

    Apr 14, 2010 11:25 PM GMT
    The rate at which a person can mature is directly proportional to the embarrassment he can tolerate. -Douglas Engelbart
  • Sk8Tex

    Posts: 738

    Apr 14, 2010 11:29 PM GMT
    lol what gay man hasnt? icon_lol.gif
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    Apr 14, 2010 11:37 PM GMT
    hdurdinr saidDon't worry about it! It seems you're over-reacting somewhat - I'm sure you did much better than you think. I hate public speaking but on occasion I have to do it - I always think I did terribly but people generally tell me otherwise.

    I have a college degree in Speech, as well as in Theatre, and TV & Radio Broadcasting, along with a few others. I am anything but shy in front of a microphone or camera lens, and speaking in public. On the contrary, a microphone is like a carrot to me.

    But the problem here is that I failed. My public speaking voice, my one reliable strength, let me down. When that happened, I was disoriented and off-balance. I should know better how to handle that, but this time I just fell flat on my face. Another lesson learned, but also I sometimes wonder, when will I have learned all these lessons, and stop making a fool of myself at last? Not in my lifetime, I fear. icon_sad.gif
  • Sk8Tex

    Posts: 738

    Apr 14, 2010 11:41 PM GMT
    I plan on being a bumbling fool straight to the grave! icon_biggrin.gif

    Dont be too hard on yourself, your human after all...but then again we are our own worst critics.
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    Apr 14, 2010 11:55 PM GMT
    SanDiegoNewbie saidI plan on being a bumbling fool straight to the grave! icon_biggrin.gif

    Dont be too hard on yourself, your human after all...but then again we are our own worst critics.

    I am mindful of the quote attributed to the famous sculptor Alberto Giacometti:

    "I sculpt to learn why I fail."

    I likewise think I live my whole life to learn why I fail. And imagining I learn at each step, I proceed to fail in another way yet again.

    I've already concluded that success will always elude me, and I must settle for a mediocre life. I'm bright, I'm clever, and vastly knowledgeable, but I lack some additional ingredient that makes me special enough to rise above the herd.

    So I snatch what little pleasure I can find between the spaces, and maximize what I have. Always enthralled by those around me who produce, and wondering why I don't. And now too late in life to change anything... icon_sad.gif
  • Sk8Tex

    Posts: 738

    Apr 15, 2010 12:00 AM GMT
    I think we all have those desires...to rise above everyone else. To be successful and live a fantastical life. But is it something you really need in order to be happy? I ask myself that question all the time and can never honestly answer yes.
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    Apr 15, 2010 12:05 AM GMT
    I've said plenty of things that my friends will never let me forget
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    Apr 15, 2010 12:08 AM GMT
    SanDiegoNewbie saidI think we all have those desires...to rise above everyone else. To be successful and live a fantastical life. But is it something you really need in order to be happy? I ask myself that question all the time and can never honestly answer yes.

    To rise above others is a terrible temptation. It was how I was raised to behave. But if not me, there will always be others to take my place. And what will they do with their advantage? Be greedy or generous?

    I was taught advantage is not a birthright, but an obligation. You earn it, then you share it. My problem is that I've failed to earn it. I try to share, but I have little enough for even me and my partner.

    And so I have failed. Each generation should be more than the one that preceded it. In my case, I am less: less money, less prestige, less influence, less of everything. My late parents would be ashamed of me, and so I am ashamed of myself. icon_sad.gif
  • Sk8Tex

    Posts: 738

    Apr 15, 2010 12:12 AM GMT
    One thing I learned early on is that its almost impossible to please my parents, but incredibly easy to please myself... (I can see the lol remarks waiting on that one...) icon_eek.gif I guess what im gettin at is, live your life for yourself and your partner. Not for everyone else.