chased by someone VS chasing someone

  • johnny9027

    Posts: 90

    Apr 15, 2010 5:46 AM GMT
    Okay, here is the deal! Whenever I was chasing someone, i always failed to get him. Neither because my lack of persistance (since I've been chasing someone for almost half a year), nor that i don't know how to use skills(I've been doing a lot of romantic stuffs!) And my personality is not that sucked as i have a lot of friends.However I just can't get anyone I like through my personal effort. ON THE OTHER HAND, all my ex-bfs r those ones who had been chasing after me, and they finally got me! I just don't understand why I just can't make someone moved and get them falling in love with me?
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    Apr 15, 2010 6:09 AM GMT
    Haha well I think you need to give me some tips on how to get a guy chasing after me
  • johnny9027

    Posts: 90

    Apr 15, 2010 6:12 AM GMT
    ddrfeat saidHaha well I think you need to give me some tips on how to get a guy chasing after me


    I have no idea, ohohoh, there's one reason, i can sing, and i used to sing in a band and a capella group in university, which gives me oppotunities to meet ppl who appreciate my talent. I think if u need to be attractive, u should have some sparkle point as a human being, and i'm sure u have!
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    Apr 15, 2010 6:47 AM GMT
    The more you chase people, the faster you'll give in when you're being chased.
    Once you give in, you effectively give up chasing the one you wanted.
    Oh and if you're chasing after one who's just not into you, well then you're shit outta luck.
    And my philosophy: If at first you don't succeed, fuck it, there's other guys out there. icon_biggrin.gif
  • Bunjamon

    Posts: 3161

    Apr 15, 2010 1:51 PM GMT
    In my experience the ones you have to chase after are the ones who least deserve to be chased.
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    Apr 21, 2010 10:57 PM GMT
    Yeah, I don't do that "hard to get" thing anymore...you're either interested or you're not...I only have to be told "no" once...We can be friends tho.... if you are somewhat interested in someone and and they are pursuing you make it clear that you are interested, if not I'm moving on...

    As for being chased, the same rules apply...I will make it clear that I'm interested as well, not by having sex with that person, but at least giving clues that I'm down for a more than just friendship...The problems arise when time goes on and I see that we were not as compatible as I thought but they don;t realize this as well...
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    Apr 21, 2010 11:04 PM GMT
    I'm really hard to chase, I'm fast. icon_biggrin.gif
  • oursirpeace

    Posts: 199

    Apr 21, 2010 11:20 PM GMT
    I just started seeing someone I'm not really into, he chased after me... I'm more of the passive aggressive type, not good for chasing... will get back to you guys how this thing goes in a couple months.
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    Apr 21, 2010 11:25 PM GMT
    I just responded with a similar reply to a different thread...

    be careful not to try too hard too soon... some guys like to be chased and respond well to that, but trying/chasing too hard will make other guys feel they're being stalked and that turns them off if they've only known you for a few weeks. you need to find out what type of guy he is...

    it's a fine line between showing someone you're into them, and being annoying LOL
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    Apr 21, 2010 11:37 PM GMT
    Its all one big game, gay boys as stupid until both of them see eye to eye
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    Apr 21, 2010 11:59 PM GMT
    I always feel a sense of power at being the one who is chased
  • MuscleComeBac...

    Posts: 2376

    Apr 22, 2010 12:49 AM GMT
    Chase is a game. It's fun for sexual conquer, but so unhealthy and a very weak cement for building something lasting.

    To the guys who are 'being chased'...running and then getting caught may feel fun, but in the end, if you WANT to be caught I very much doubt you'd even flinch in any direction other than toward the man you hope to catch you. Sure you might have been burned, or have trust issues that make you skittish when you feel a powerful connection, and you think "well, if this is real, he'll come get me." Okay, not the healthiest approach, but for a week or two it's cool, so long as when he shows up you recognize how good you feel that he came after you. That's the signal to stay put. If you're going to be loved, and be a lover, then you have to take risks. Hope is a bitch, but every now and then, it delivers. On the other hand, if you're just tired and decided 'what the fuck, let's try this out and I'll see what happens'...brother, wake the fuck up, the other guy's heart is not a toy. If you're really not that into him, grow a set and say so, no matter how bad it makes you look or feel, you owe him some respect. He's not doing this to keep you amused until the real deal comes along. Be a man.

    To the guys who chase...you may have fun hoping to win, but if he's still running after a second date/call/text...brother that guy is just toying with you, and it's for certain and sure that he's going to feel rested enough after a while to get up and play this game another day. Outrunning is not a win, it's being a pace car putz for somebody who needs therapy. Value yourself enough to know that if they aren't buying, they're not worthy. If you find yourself telling him how you feel and he's "woa! too much, too soon" he's right on one account, it is too much, and he should be allowed the privilege of going without....any. Move on.

    Love feels good. Repeat, feels good. Passion and flattery can be real, and they can overwhelm. Let it catch you off guard and make you feel a little overwhelmed and see what happens. Trust grows, balance is found, and you'll find a way. But seriously, men, if you don't like to feel good, get out of the game and get help.
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    Apr 22, 2010 12:57 AM GMT
    Once I knew "chasing" wasn't landing my guy I started using threats. He's very happy now!!! LOL LOL LOL LOL icon_biggrin.gif
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    Apr 22, 2010 2:11 AM GMT
    MuscleComeBack said
    To the guys who chase...you may have fun hoping to win, but if he's still running after a second date/call/text...brother that guy is just toying with you, and it's for certain and sure that he's going to feel rested enough after a while to get up and play this game another day. Outrunning is not a win, it's being a pace car putz for somebody who needs therapy. Value yourself enough to know that if they aren't buying, they're not worthy. If you find yourself telling him how you feel and he's "woa! too much, too soon" he's right on one account, it is too much, and he should be allowed the privilege of going without....any. Move on.


    Words of wisdom here folks...

    I been on both ends of the coin. When the dude I was REALLY into told me "too much too soon" it was NOT a problem, LOL...but when the guy I was only "kinda" into did it...Well, you know the rest...But I would say after three or four dates you kinda get a sense if the chase should continue, not after only two...