Oh, roommates.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 16, 2010 2:34 PM GMT
    I'm going through yet more roommate drama, and I need some advice as how to go about handling it.

    Monday night our internet got shut off... I wasn't really sure what was going on, or why, so I figured it was Time Warner updating their stuff. Come Tuesday morning it *still* wasn't on, so I sent a text to the roommates asking what was up. The one responsible for dropping off the bill money said it would be back on later that day.

    So, that got resolved... mostly.

    Yesterday morning I decided to see if our past due bills had been paid. I let it slide a bit because my roommates were dealing with the first year anniversary of their dad passing, one wrecked his car and needed to get a new one, and because I figured if nothing else they had my share of the bill money to put on things.

    Anyway, things are pretty bad. We got our second disconnect notice from the electric company, and the cable *was* disconnected. Our gas bill is nearly $400, and three months past due.

    I went and paid the electric in full, because they were getting ready to turn our power off... even though I'd already given my roommate money for that bill the past three months.

    I'd asked him if the rent and water bills were up to date when I left the house, water because they don't have a contact number on the bill, and the rent because it was before the landlord takes calls. He told me yes.

    After paying the electric bill I gave the landlord a call just to make sure he'd be getting his money. Turns out rent hasn't been paid for two months. Not cool.

    My roommates are pretty young (19 and 20), but I've known them for over a decade now so I thought I could trust them... and all the money I've given them has been in cash. Whoops! Live and learn, right?

    My plan right now is to save up enough to cover my last two months of the lease, a deposit, and a first months rent, and get out of here. Strip my name from the utilities, and just be done with the whole mess.

    I came home to a note saying things would be paid in full, and I'd be told how much I owe. I've been paying my share each month though. I don't plan on giving them anymore for the bills, honestly.

    Basically I want to know... good idea? Should I just suck it up, pay what they're demanding, and deal with it? Any advice on how to deal with this would be great. I've got my friends opinions, but they're obviously going to side with me... need help from people outside of the situation.
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    Apr 16, 2010 2:37 PM GMT
    Unless you can afford to subsidise them and think that would be beneficial to them you should leave.
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Apr 16, 2010 2:38 PM GMT
    I think your plan is sound, but I would meet with them all and let them know what you are planning to do first. There is no reason for you to pay them any more money.
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    Apr 16, 2010 2:47 PM GMT
    So, let me get this straight. You paid your roommates your share of rent and utilities, yet they did not pay them. So you, rather than get the lights shut off, paid the electric bill (including their share). Now, your roommates want you to contribute YOUR share of the current bills?

    Sounds to me like they owe YOU some money. I would move and get any utilities in my name disconnected.

    Yup. Live and learn. Next time YOU collect the money and pay the bills yourself so you know it's done.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 16, 2010 4:37 PM GMT
    Don't pay anything extra. Tell those two they need to figure it out. You already paid your share, dont pay anything extra because your 2 roommates can't manage their finances. I am assuming they spend most of there money on stuff they don't need and than fall short when it comes bill time. I guess it doesn't matter what the reason is don't pay extra because they are not paying their fair share.
  • iHavok

    Posts: 1477

    Apr 16, 2010 4:57 PM GMT
    You really need to sit down and talk to them.
    And know that you are aware they aren't as responsible as you would like, you need to make sure to do the extra work and check on things, especially making sure you are out of the lease, and off utilities and paid up for the portion you were on them.
    As far as who owes what, you might have to write these guys off as friends, not that it sounds like a big loss.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 16, 2010 5:03 PM GMT
    ejay79 saidSo, let me get this straight. You paid your roommates your share of rent and utilities, yet they did not pay them. So you, rather than get the lights shut off, paid the electric bill (including their share). Now, your roommates want you to contribute YOUR share of the current bills?

    Sounds to me like they owe YOU some money. I would move and get any utilities in my name disconnected.

    Yup. Live and learn. Next time YOU collect the money and pay the bills yourself so you know it's done.


    I echo ejay79's suggestions.
  • sportsjockla

    Posts: 498

    Apr 16, 2010 5:09 PM GMT
    I've had that happen to me before too. Where my roommate took the money and didn't pay the bills. Ended up getting evicted. I recently let a "friend" live with me for awhile and charged him very little. If you let these young guys slide they will take advantage of you and you will dig yourself even deeper. Get out and cut your loses. You will never see that money unless they hit the lotto
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    Apr 16, 2010 5:18 PM GMT
    Asking someone who is 19 years old to take care of the bills = not the brightest idea
  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    Apr 16, 2010 5:26 PM GMT
    this thread is an excellent example of why i lived at home until i had enough money for a place to live in MY MYSELF.
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    Apr 16, 2010 5:30 PM GMT
    I think what you are going to do is the right thing to do.

    If you want to keep your friendships and your money, then leave. It seems like the only logical solution.
  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    Apr 16, 2010 5:35 PM GMT
    if i read the original thread correctly; the other roommates owe the author of this thread money for utilities paid.



    BUT...




    Good Luck trying to collect from these slackers! icon_rolleyes.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 16, 2010 5:57 PM GMT
    rnch saidthis thread is an excellent example of why i lived at home until i had enough money for a place to live in MY MYSELF.


    Same here. I lived at home a lot longer than most, but when I moved out, I was self sufficient and did not have to rely on others to help pay the bills.

    It sounds to me like these guys owe you money not the other way around. I would get out of there ASAP and maybe for the last couple of months you are there, they can pay the rent and utilities to you and you pay the bills. Make sure that your name is off of everything before you move and get it in writing. don't take anyones word for it. Especially the lease. This could come back and haunt you at a later time.
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    Apr 16, 2010 6:03 PM GMT
    snowboarder saidAsking someone who is 19 years old to take care of the bills = not the brightest idea


    precisely...and knowing someone who is 19 years old for 10 years isn't saying much. sounds like they need to grow the hell up.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 16, 2010 6:04 PM GMT
    What the others said is all good. Either get what is owed to you now, or small claims court later, but don't pay anymore.

    For the future, I think it is better to live with people you do not have a history with, but have same general interests, and they have a solid career (ask them how long in current job etc).

    My housemate is perfect, however he leaves Australia in November and I am dreading the process to find a new housemate. I'd live by myself, but a few hundred dollars extra a week for that seems like a waste of money (over 15k a year). I'd rather keep it for a house deposit.

    Best of luck though, difficult housemates can be a real nightmare. But is also a good incentive to make sure you always keep saving money, no matter how much, so you can easily pick up and move if need be.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 16, 2010 7:00 PM GMT
    Time to bail.

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    Apr 16, 2010 7:08 PM GMT
    Sounds like you might be a good candidate for the Judge Judy TV show. Of course, expect her to rip you for not having everything in written agreements with your roommates, and for paying them with cash.

    Bail as soon as you get the bills cleared, but not before, because otherwise you might have trouble getting new utility accounts reestablished in your name, and clearing a rental background check, and have to put up larger security deposits. This can also hurt your credit rating.
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    Apr 16, 2010 7:14 PM GMT
    Don't give them another dime. Write a check (not cash) to the landlord for your portion of the rent (assuming they bring your account current...if not there's no point since he'll probably be evicting you guys pretty soon).

    Give them a written accounting of the money you've given them over these past few months and the money you've paid out directly due to their irresponsible behavior.

    Let them know that they are responsible for getting you guys caught up and give them a deadline to make it happen, or you're filing a police report for theft. They have been stealing from and defrauding you. If things don't turn around for the better immediately, I'd get as far away from them as possible.
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    Apr 16, 2010 7:20 PM GMT
    A) Add up the late bills you paid
    B) Divide them by 3
    Subtract B from A
    The total you come up with is what they owe you.

    You are not their parent and are not responsible for taking care of them.
    It's a hard lesson for you and them but most of us at some point live with or have lived with someone we thought we could count on.

    They are on the steep end of the learning curve for living alone and until they figure it out you will continue to get burned. I would suggest looking for other room mates as soon as possible to keep the situation with your current roomies from getting worse and to also have hope of salvaging the relationships with them.

    Sorry to hear about your situation. If it's any consolation I had a roommate take me for over 10K and an ex-boyfriend who I lived with run up a $500 phone bill that he got for his place in *my* name. It happens to us all the key is to not make excuses for them, no matter how much you care for them, because it doesn't do them or you any service.
    Good luck.
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    Apr 16, 2010 7:30 PM GMT
    I would be pissed, friend or not.

    they are messing with your income and your livelihood and they seem to be taking advantage of your niceness quite frequently.

    From reading your post it would seem they owe you money and quite a bit too. How do you give someone money to pay bills only later to find out that it hasn't been paid? That would raise a red flag for me. It's got "Danger, Will Robinson" written all over it.

    Lesson learned I guess. Moving out seems to be a pretty sound idea and gesture. I would suggest that you have a nice long conversation with them and tell them that they owe you money. NO EXCUSES. Had they pulled their weight and acted like young responsible adults then there wouldn't have been a problem regardless of their age.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 16, 2010 7:46 PM GMT
    My lazy ass roommates won't take the trash out or wash the dishes. Now that pissed me off icon_evil.gif
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    Apr 16, 2010 8:21 PM GMT
    Time for an accounting of what you spent on the electric bill (over and above what you've paid as your 1/3rd.) After I did the math, I'd have a 'come to Jesus meeting' with the other two guys. Lay out your directives and the time frame in which you want those directives met. Let the roommates know what the consequences will be if this crap happens even one more time. Make one guy the treasurer (maybe it should be you) and get this back to a business relationship.

    This scenario is what I'd do if I cared to continue knowing these guys. If I didn't care to keep them as friends, I'd just bail a.s.a.p. and never speak to either of them again.
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    Apr 16, 2010 8:53 PM GMT
    Yeah.. to hell with that. I'd be furious and on my way to beating them within inches of their lives. (<- exaggeration)

    Regardless of what emotional distresses they're going through.. not paying those bills affects more than just them. Especially that they took your money, and then lied to you when you asked them about the rent. No matter how depressed you get... it still only takes 5 minutes to write a check out and stick it in the mail. 20 tops to drive down and stick it in the deposit box. They could have sucked it up to see to their real-world, current obligations.

    I'm sure their dead dad wouldn't be proud of this situation.

    Now if they had come to you about this, honestly.. I would say give them a 2nd shot. But that's not the case. And now they're trying to hit you up for more money?

    They'd be coming home to an empty ass house if they lived with me. All their shit sold on Ebay to cover the bills. (<- another exaggeration)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 16, 2010 9:17 PM GMT
    Solution: Get a 2nd (or 3rd) job so you can afford to live by yourself.

    Roommates are evil, and will almost always fuck you over.
  • BroderFMZ

    Posts: 1

    Apr 16, 2010 9:49 PM GMT
    Man, I usually am pretty harsh but in some cases we need to be like that.

    First thing is: forget these friendships. They didn't respected you. You will find better people out there.

    For the bills and rent:

    Call some friend in common to try to intermediate this issue. Someone all you guys respect.

    Call their family or somebody they will be ashamed of and explain the situation

    I did this when my roommate refused to give me back my caution. I told her best friend who lived just by us and her mother. It worked.

    IF this doesn't work:

    Lock them out. Pretty simple this one, no? Take their keys somehow (tell them separatedly you lost yours). Once you have the keys, you control the situation.

    Or, if you think this is too much (I hope no):

    Find a place to stay ASAP

    Pay all the bills that are in your name and cancel the services or change to their name. Otherwise, you will have more problems!

    Tell them you are going to leave because you find a girlfriend so you cancelled all the services that are in your name. Attention: tell them AFTER you cancelled.

    DO NOT pay the bills that are not in your name.

    Ask a friend to stay with you, so you are not in minority inside the house.

    Good luck!