Sexless Relationships??

  • Joeyphx444

    Posts: 2382

    Apr 20, 2010 8:00 AM GMT
    Does it exist? Does it work?
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    Apr 20, 2010 8:42 AM GMT
    It totally depends.

    How old are the couple? Are there any health reasons for it? Are both people happy to not have sex?

    I think if one person does not want sex or any kind of sexual intimacy but the other does, then that's not very fair. You should either split up or accept that the one who does may have to satisfy those needs elsewhere. That might be cool for some couples.

    If neither person is bothered about sex then I'm sure that a happy relationship is still possible! In fact that may well be the case when I reach a certain age! At the moment I would find it very hard if my relationship was sexless and it wasn't just temporary. Although sex isn't the most important part of a relationship, to me sex and intimacy is integral to a relationship, as without it you're basically just friends.

    If the sexlessness was due to health reasons, I think that's a little different as it's not under their control whether they can offer sex.
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    Apr 20, 2010 2:42 PM GMT
    Yes - Yes
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    Apr 20, 2010 2:46 PM GMT
    i think any type of relationship can work if both partners are ok with it.
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    Apr 20, 2010 2:49 PM GMT
    Is there, perhaps, a more detailed question you had wanted to ask? icon_biggrin.gif
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    Apr 20, 2010 3:01 PM GMT
    Of course!! Ask half your (straight) married friends with kids. I think in the gay world most couples pick the "open" option.
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    Apr 20, 2010 4:16 PM GMT
    does exist, CAN work.
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    Apr 20, 2010 5:20 PM GMT
    It wouldn't work well for me. There would have to be some serious extenuating circumstances in a LTR for it to remotely work (for me). When I'm with someone, I need that physical contact and more.
  • MuscleComeBac...

    Posts: 2376

    Apr 20, 2010 5:44 PM GMT
    I think that sex can be pretty broadly defined, and for me that also includes physical intimacy. You may not be fucking like bulls, but cuddling and kissing have to be there, at least to my mind. I don't think you can have a relationship without kissing and touching and holding. And I think that there has to be some release, whether mutual masturbation or frottage.

    If you're looking at extremes - such as a dying partner, a critical illness, then circumstance necessitates a shift, and yes, you can still be in a relationship with that man. You better be! But I don't think your question is about extremes.

    I've transitioned out of an LTR when intimacy was a waning and finally altogether absent reality for my partner. We stayed very deeply connected friends. The reason was partially a drop in T'count, and his lack of desire to address it. He was happy, truly happy being non-sexual and non-intimate. I, was not. And rather than grow resentful and frustrated and hurtful, we adjusted to a shift that closed the 'partner' or 'husband' door. And we looked LONG and hard at options, and counseling and difficult conversations. It was NOT easy, but it was healthy and respectful. And it lead us both to the conclusion that we were not longer a couple.

    I like being coupled. I crave it. And physical intimacy is a key factor in being coupled happily. It is not the primary driver, but attraction, and the expression of that in tender and passionate ways cannot be missing, or things feel very out of balance.

    Now, there will come a time, I'm guessing, when I will not have the same drive for sex per se, but I cannot imagine a time when touching, and holding, and kissing are not a truly critical form of how I express myself and connect to my partner/mate/boyfriend.

    I believe that without it, you have a very nice friendship, but not a truly intimate relationship.
  • tokoroten

    Posts: 6

    Apr 20, 2010 7:07 PM GMT
    Physical intimacy doesn't necessarily equate to sex.

    If both guys are homoromantic asexuals then a sexless relationship would definitely be possible.

    If you think you might be asexual OP, this is a good site to check out: http://www.asexuality.org/home/
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    Apr 20, 2010 7:16 PM GMT

    lol of course it exists and yes it works, even among the most sexually charged. Just ask anyone truly devoted whose partner-of-life has had a sexual-performing killing stroke or injury.

    What, do they just kick their now damaged partner to the curb? Nope.

    Just look at the successful open LTRs (though we haven't considered that seriously as those relationships are not without sex, are they?) icon_wink.gif

    To the OP: we think you're asking about something specific but haven't said.

    -us two
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    Apr 20, 2010 7:31 PM GMT
    Yup. It works and exists.

    it seems to work very well for mostly elder couples. They've gone beyond the need to have sex to enjoy each others company. It's really a nice thing I think though given my age I'm more pressed to have it then to let it slip away at the moment.
  • Joeyphx444

    Posts: 2382

    Apr 20, 2010 7:41 PM GMT
    Well I love cuddling and kissing, it's more than enough if you do it with someone you love and who loves you

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    Apr 20, 2010 7:48 PM GMT
    Jmuscle33 saidWell I love cuddling and kissing, it's more than enough if you do it with someone you love and who loves you



    .....it's only more than enough if they feel the same way about sexual expression in the relationship. icon_wink.gif
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    Apr 20, 2010 8:14 PM GMT
    Fuck That !
  • Greygull

    Posts: 282

    Apr 20, 2010 8:19 PM GMT
    Those kind of relationships always kind of creep me out! in all honesty, sex is an important part of my relationships and Those, oh I have a boyfriend but we don't sleep together and both of us fuck other people just seems dishonest.


    But that's just me.
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    Apr 20, 2010 8:34 PM GMT
    no no no no
  • tokoroten

    Posts: 6

    Apr 20, 2010 11:18 PM GMT
    Jmuscle33 saidWell I love cuddling and kissing, it's more than enough if you do it with someone you love and who loves you



    Then all you have to do is find someone that feels the same way you do. There's more people out there that feel this way than you think.
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    Apr 20, 2010 11:41 PM GMT
    Of course a relationship can survive without sex, and a "sexless relationship" usually doesn't mean completely sexless sometimes I can be on occasions when the mood is right for both parties. One reason I have noticed that they don't work is that one person who is passed the "honeymoon phase" of the relationship and is content on just being with that person. While the other person just likes the sex and wants the relationship to stay in a the fuck buddy kind of stage and doesn't respect their partner's decision. All the while feeling unloved and left out in the cold even though that isn't the case, or try and pressuring the other person to have sex making both feel uncomfortable and pushing each other away.
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    Apr 20, 2010 11:47 PM GMT
    I know two couples that haven't had sex in YEARS. In each case, at least one of the partners isn't happy about it.
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    Apr 20, 2010 11:50 PM GMT
    I thought all relationships were sexless after a few years.
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    Apr 20, 2010 11:54 PM GMT
    They better not be! I admit the frequency has diminished over the years but I hope it doesn't go away altogether!
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    Apr 20, 2010 11:56 PM GMT
    sashaman saidThey better not be! I admit the frequency has diminished over the years but I hope it doesn't go away altogether!
    If it does, there's always RJ. icon_biggrin.gif
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    Apr 20, 2010 11:57 PM GMT
    Yeah - the eye candy - one of the reasons I like this place! icon_lol.gif
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    Apr 21, 2010 2:07 AM GMT
    paulflexes saidI thought all relationships were sexless after a few years.

    Paul, you are so very sweet! Your world just got larger and with more possibilities; it's all good. icon_wink.gif