Closet Agnostic in Christian Home


  • Apr 23, 2010 10:00 AM GMT
    That is the situation I'm in right now. How would you deal with this?
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    Apr 23, 2010 3:07 PM GMT
    Move?
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    Apr 23, 2010 3:10 PM GMT
    Make a shrine to Agnos, and chant audibly at 4 AM.
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    Apr 23, 2010 3:38 PM GMT
    I'm not sure I understand. If you're not sure you believe, then that's fine, but if you're living under someone else's roof, then deal with it?
  • MSUBioNerd

    Posts: 1813

    Apr 23, 2010 3:40 PM GMT
    Well, you're 21, and living at home. The best reason to not tell your parents you don't share their religious beliefs is if a) they're helping you pay for your schooling (even if just by letting you live at home rather than paying rent), and b) you expect that they'd withdraw this support if they knew you didn't share their beliefs. If you're not still in school, you're at an age where you should be self-supporting -- admittedly difficult in this economy -- even if that means sharing a small apartment with roommates, at which points your parents lose their power to tell you how to live your life. And, actually, you gain quite a bit of power in the relationship, as it's your decision whether or not to see them/talk to them/etc.

    Then again, feel free to take what I say with a grain of salt. I've been agnostic since I was 6, with the full knowledge of not only my parents but also the pastors at the church I grew up attending. I really, really love having been raised by secular libertarians who joined a church primarily for a social environment, and picked the least dogmatic one they could find.
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    Apr 23, 2010 7:12 PM GMT
    Move out. You're old enough, and you have to have independence at your age. After that, stop giving a fuck what your parents think.

    I don't know much about your parents. If they're anything like most parents (mine and the parents of people I know), they'll take it poorly and even when they say they forgive or they understand, on some level they will resent you for it, and let it be known through snide comments on Christmases to come.
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    Apr 23, 2010 7:21 PM GMT
    Yep, as above. Their house, their rules. And you need to respect their rules when you are living under their roof.

    You want freedom and to surround yourself wiht people who identify with your beliefs, move out.
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    Apr 23, 2010 7:53 PM GMT
    You can believe what you want, no matter whose house you're in.

    Right now I'm believing in Rusty Joiner and enjoying it immensely.
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    Apr 23, 2010 7:54 PM GMT
    if by "agnostic" you truly mean someone who doesn't quite know one way or the other, then simply be curious about their religion. by being curious, you don't have to buy it, but you give them the "satisfaction" of being interested. and why not? if you're really "agnostic" then you are not threatened by the possibility of finding out the truth wherever it might lie.

    if, though, you are saying you are an atheist, then, depending on how conservative they are, that has the usual effect of not going over very well with christians. for those kinds of christians who believe that jesus is their personal savior, they tend to take that shit personally too. you dis the existence of jesus, they dis you.

    sticky wicket, to be sure. but, like others have said, you are at the age of adulthood in most countries, so it is time for you to start acting like an adult and take responsibility for your beliefs. that means you learn how to tolerate others and you take heat for your beliefs and let the criticism roll off your back...or learn from it.

    good luck.
  • metta

    Posts: 39091

    Apr 23, 2010 8:08 PM GMT
    With my friends that are religious: I don't normally talk about religious issues with them unless they specifically ask me about my own. If they ask me directly, I tell them the truth.
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    Apr 23, 2010 8:19 PM GMT
    AussieBody saidYep, as above. Their house, their rules. And you need to respect their rules when you are living under their roof.

    Can you really set a rule as to what your child believes? You can't force anyone to believe anything, even your progeny. And how can you respect someone who would refuse to respect what you believe?

    Respect is a two-way street. It's hard growing into your own when your parents refuse to acknowledge you as an adult, with the respect that goes along with it.
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    Apr 24, 2010 12:48 AM GMT
    America has freedom of religion, each according to the dictates of his own conscience.
    So, you can believe anything you want to believe, or nothing at all.
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    Apr 24, 2010 4:47 AM GMT
    . . . I should think that your agnosticism is not nearly your greatest worry at the moment . . or do you doubt that? . . . why not select your battles more carefully?

    . . . what would Ignatius J. Reilly do? . . .
  • BIG_N_TALL

    Posts: 2190

    Apr 24, 2010 4:51 AM GMT
    stoneymcpuffnpass saidIf they're anything like most parents (mine and the parents of people I know), they'll take it poorly and even when they say they forgive or they understand, on some level they will resent you for it, and let it be known through snide comments on Christmases to come.


    [sigh]... I feel like this will be me... rather soon for a multitude of reasons icon_neutral.gif