Would you risk a lifetime searching for your soulmate?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 23, 2010 7:46 PM GMT
    "I thought it was for life".....I'm referring to my 8 year relationship that ended 8 months ago. It was hard especially during the first 4 months, trying all means to win him back. It was exhausting between school and fixing a broken relationship. Despite my pursuit of reconnecting and making him realize that the 8 year relationship we had is worth saving but it wasn't of importance to him. A couple of weeks ago, it took me to hear these phrase from him...."I've moved on..." to STOP and just let go.

    My question: Would you guys risk your lifetime searching for a soulmate?
    My answer: I believe that long lasting gay relationship is viable. I would risk my lifetime searching for him. I would like my day to end saying...I've tried and it was worth it.
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    Apr 23, 2010 7:50 PM GMT
    I gave up searching for a soulmate years ago. If there's one out there for me, he can find me. And that's still no guarantee I'll give in. Life is too much fun to waste in search of something that may never happen.
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    Apr 23, 2010 8:34 PM GMT
    I think the idea of a soul mate is a myth. People will complain they haven't found their soul mate and yet they have not looked beyond their own back yard for this elusive person. If you truly believe you have a soul mate, you have to open up to the possibility he may be living in another part of the country or world. My answer would have to be no.
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    Apr 23, 2010 8:36 PM GMT
    There's no such thing as a soul mate
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    Apr 23, 2010 8:40 PM GMT
    "Soul mate" is a bit much.

    But finding the person you fall in love with is worth the effort.

    If you simply 'settle' for a guy who you don't truly love, and are in it because it is convenient, comfortable, easy and/or you feel you won't find anything more, then your relationship is doomed to fail.

    When you find that person, you work damn hard to make it work the rest of your life. Just cause you are in love doesn't mean that nil effort is required icon_smile.gif
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    Apr 23, 2010 8:56 PM GMT
    What a depressing thread.
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    Apr 23, 2010 8:56 PM GMT
    TheIStrat saidThere's no such thing as a soul mate


    My perception of a soul mate is a lifetime partner. I should have worded my question: Would you guys risk your lifetime seeking for a LIFETIME partner?
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    Apr 23, 2010 8:57 PM GMT
    bluey2223 saidWhat a depressing thread.
    That seems to be a redundant statement at times...
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    Apr 23, 2010 9:04 PM GMT
    bluey2223 saidWhat a depressing thread.


    Yea, it is depressing. On the positive note I still have my OPTIMISM.
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    Apr 23, 2010 9:27 PM GMT
    ER_RNMD said
    bluey2223 saidWhat a depressing thread.

    Yea, it is depressing. On the positive note I still have my OPTIMISM.

    Don't lose your optimism. I found my soulmate with whom I lived for years, then he died in my arms. Do have any idea what that is like? I was devastated, suffered a complete breakdown, worst episode of my life. Then gay friends did an intervention, and I began to bounce back.

    I found another soulmate, with whom I live today. If it weren't for optimism (and the optimism my friends helped me to regain) I would still be a basket case.

    I dunno what life will offer you, a soulmate or not. But when you abandon hope and desire, you die. I'm more resilient than that, as I hope we all are. I've had setbacks, some that could fill books, but I never lose, just not what I do. If you are determined not to lose, then you won't. The outcome really is in your own hands.
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    Apr 23, 2010 9:27 PM GMT
    My soul-mate came into my life in 1999, and in 2009 he was taken away by a terrorist act killed murded; gone to soon. But life goes on, and on. I don't ever expect to find another who loved me as he did. I don't expect to ever find another gay or bisexual man who hold the same level of morel code I do either. I'm so blessed to have met my one, and too of been loved by him. as I loved him. This will never come my way agin.
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    Apr 23, 2010 9:29 PM GMT
    Yes...yes I would

    The problem I've encountered is...I don't know what makes someone my soul mate and even though I have some idea of the characteristics and the type of guy I think he may be...I have doubts in myself
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    Apr 23, 2010 9:37 PM GMT
    oh god no, if i cant find the "one" by the age of 35, then I'll just live alone with my two cats & masterbate furiously everyday. then on the weekends I'll just post CL and try to get laid...yep thats how I view my future if i dont find the "one" icon_razz.gif
  • hikerC

    Posts: 170

    Apr 23, 2010 9:39 PM GMT
    I absolutely believe in soul mates! I suppose I am an old fashioned dreamer, but I do! I have spent a lifetime stuck in the closet, and now that I am finally giving myself permission to be myself and to pursue real happiness, I find RJ and you guys to help me through it. I am also meeting the most incredible guys too, it is just a matter of time before I meet "The one!" You just never know who you're gonna meet, and it might change your life forever! Keep looking, and don't give up! (But don't stop living in the meantime!)

    Just my opinion! icon_biggrin.gif
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    Apr 23, 2010 9:46 PM GMT
    ER_RNMD said
    TheIStrat saidThere's no such thing as a soul mate


    My perception of a soul mate is a lifetime partner. I should have worded my question: Would you guys risk your lifetime seeking for a LIFETIME partner?


    semantics. you think people who are married 60 years didn't once or twice in that 60 years re-think their decision? first, some of them *should* have divorced and stayed together because they were afraid or too concerned with what others thought, and second, the idea of staying together for a LIFETIME is, of itself, an overly romanticized idea of what "ought" to be. there are some people who, to this day, think that you get one career in your life and then you retire. it's a new day...these days, "for a LIFETIME" means live your life NOW and take it as it comes. change is constant. 60 year marriages are the exception.

    why not see your 8 years as 8 great years...and now you're on to another adventure?
  • somedaytoo

    Posts: 704

    Apr 23, 2010 9:56 PM GMT
    Not giving up hope there there is one out there for me.
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    Apr 23, 2010 9:59 PM GMT
    A serious, healthy LTR relationship in the gay community - you have better odds winning the lotto. Give it up guy and live your life for yourself.
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Apr 23, 2010 10:04 PM GMT
    I don't believe in what people call a "soul mate"
    but that doesn't mean I don't believe in love

    I'm old enough and have had enough relationships to know that love does occur and that it's well worth the wait
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    Apr 23, 2010 10:16 PM GMT
    ftnip saidA serious, healthy LTR relationship in the gay community - you have better odds winning the lotto. Give it up guy and live your life for yourself.


    Oh no...If the odds of having a long term gay relationship is statistically low, my quest for 'him' still remains.
  • Ironman4U

    Posts: 738

    Apr 23, 2010 10:22 PM GMT
    Hell yea!
  • bobcatman

    Posts: 37

    Apr 23, 2010 10:37 PM GMT
    Several years ago in college, I read an article about the soul tribe. A group of people that you move in and out of. These are a group of people that fulfill your the persona that you are looking for in a person. Apparently people move through the group of people, either dating them or just having a group of friends. It is a new idea and can explain why people seem to have a type and get along with a certain group of people.

    Food for thought.
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    Apr 23, 2010 10:51 PM GMT
    I want to echo the sentiments of others that I don't believe in soul mates.
    I do however believe that there are countless others who would see the good in me, can love me, appreciate me and value me as a friend and lover. And I see worlds of good in almost everyone I meet.

    Every other guy I pass could be the most poignant experience or relationship of my life, whether it lasts forever or not.

    When I date a guy, it might last 8 years, it might last 8 months, it might last 8 weeks, it might last 8 days... but those 8 days will remind him why he's alive, I'll make him feel like the center of the universe and remind him how powerful and fabulous being in love can be and how it rules all... it will be the best 8 ____ of his life.

    ;)
  • Celticmusl

    Posts: 4330

    Apr 23, 2010 11:01 PM GMT
    Not sure about "soul mate" either, but I think I am one to mate for life also. It really doesn't make sense for me any other way. My last LTR ended after seven years......I really didn't know ending it was even an option at the time.
  • MadeinMich

    Posts: 1624

    Apr 23, 2010 11:18 PM GMT
    you're wasting your time
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    Apr 23, 2010 11:24 PM GMT
    I would never settle. Yes, I may date someone who isn't my soulmate for a while, but not for long, and definately not for 8 years. After a while, they would begin to bother me, and the only way to change that would be to either end it, or change myself, and if I have to change myself, it's not love. I guess the point I'm driving at is that I'd rather die alone than settle.