straight love vs. gay love

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    Jan 27, 2008 11:45 PM GMT
    I wrote that title to grab peoples attention even though I don't believe there is such a think as gay or straight love. What I wanted to pose was this:

    Do you think there is really a difference between a gay guy loving a straight guy and a gay guy loving a partner (besides the sex part)?

    More specifically Do you have any non-sexual relationships in which you love a straight guy as much as you would a boyfriend? I know what I think, I just want to know the way others think.
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    Jan 28, 2008 1:32 AM GMT
    yes, I do love a mate as much as I love my partner.

    I don't care is they are straight/gay male/female.

    Oh hell, I fall in love with all my friends, there all the best people I've ever met. I develop a crush on everyone too, well, those I'm gonna have as friends.

    So yeah, love is love, I've just decided that I'm gonna wake up next to one guy for the rest of my life!
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    Jan 28, 2008 1:41 AM GMT
    Love seems like a single term for a lot of things, as your question suggests.
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    Jan 28, 2008 8:30 AM GMT
    you mean, if we all just secretly love our partners as we love our bestbuddies (if he's straight)?

    I dunno. icon_razz.gif

    For me I'd say there would be a difference. My bestfriend is straight, and for as long as I've known him, I've never been remotely attracted to him sexually. But I love him as a friend. Even thinking of sleeping with him is too much like incest... yech icon_neutral.gif

    However, I would definitely be VERY happy if my partner (if I ever find one, LOL) would act both as my Bestfriend (in the straight buddy way) and my lover. icon_redface.gif

    It's one of the things I'm thankful of being gay. icon_biggrin.gif You're both males. You both understand each other. And the friendship goes deeper than it ever will in heterosexual relationships (why men will never understand women and vice versa). And sometimes, that's even more important than the sex and romance part of relationships.
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    Jan 28, 2008 8:56 AM GMT
    ActiveAndFit saidDo you have any non-sexual relationships in which you love a straight guy as much as you would a boyfriend? I know what I think, I just want to know the way others think.


    As MunchingZombie ponted out - Love carries a lot of different meanings.

    I am going to out on a limb here and say yes - my clossest friends are people I love very much; some of them I have a much longer history with than I do with my partner. We have very close and intimate (non sexual) friendships.
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    Jan 31, 2008 1:53 AM GMT
    lilTanker saidyes, I do love a mate as much as I love my partner.
    I don't care is they are straight/gay male/female.
    Oh hell, I fall in love with all my friends, there all the best people I've ever met. I develop a crush on everyone too, well, those I'm gonna have as friends.
    So yeah, love is love, I've just decided that I'm gonna wake up next to one guy for the rest of my life!
    I love the way Aussies use 'mate' here we mostly say friend or best friend .. maybe "buddy" is the closest thing to mate in the US. Mate I think is pretty much what I am talking about .. someone you are very close to or confide in but not because they are your partner or something.
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    Feb 02, 2008 6:13 AM GMT
    ITJock saidI am going to out on a limb here and say yes - my clossest friends are people I love very much; some of them I have a much longer history with than I do with my partner. We have very close and intimate (non sexual) friendships.
    Yeah I can't remember where I was going with this topic
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Feb 03, 2008 12:00 PM GMT
    I think that the two are COMPLETELY different
    and that they can't be compared at all
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    Feb 03, 2008 3:10 PM GMT
    i have straight friends that i have had for long periods of time, and we share a certain love for each other and a history...

    however, i care deeply for my boyfriend, and he reciprocates those feelings of love toward me. I am lucky in not only having him as my best friend and confidant, but my lover, as well. it is the best of both worlds...

    we definitely share far more, on all levels, than i do with my other friends..and i think that is right in a gay relationship.

    question: in your the first part of your post, why did you note disbelief in gay or straight love? Don't you believe that it is possible for two human beings, gay or straight, to have deep feelings for one another? feelings that place the other above your own desires and wishes, because it just feels right to consider the other, first?

    I, for one, never realized the true meaning of loving another human being, to such an extent, until i met my boyfriend...and i thank God each day for his presence and importance in my life-
  • mcwclewis

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    Feb 03, 2008 8:28 PM GMT
    For me its easier to love a straight guy... since nothing, or nearly nothing ever comes of it, I tend not to notice character flaws as quickly.

    Or maybe its just the guys Ive dated failing at life, which is in all likelihood the case.
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    Feb 03, 2008 9:15 PM GMT
    I have a few straight friends that I love alot but more in a brotherly way than in a boyfriend-type way.
    (*note....I am single).

    That sounds hard to distinguish between the two
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    Feb 03, 2008 10:10 PM GMT
    Very different emotions with straight guys, you are more leery about showing physical affection in case they take it the wrong way, at the same time there is no sexual tension at all with straight guys, there sometimes is with gay friends (I have had sex with friends before I was in a relationship).
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    Feb 03, 2008 10:15 PM GMT
    fitnhot saidquestion: in your the first part of your post, why did you note disbelief in gay or straight love? Don't you believe that it is possible for two human beings, gay or straight, to have deep feelings for one another?
    The disbelief was about whether there is a difference. That is, I feel that love is just love no matter how we express it or to whom. Like I said though, I can't remember where I was going with the subject. Maybe something I read in another forum or just a realization I was having about some current event.
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    Feb 03, 2008 10:24 PM GMT
    mcwclewis saidFor me its easier to love a straight guy... since nothing, or nearly nothing ever comes of it, I tend not to notice character flaws as quickly.
    This is an interesting thought too. The thought being that if we love someone without sense of obligation that is may be a more pure form of love.

    By that I mean that we sometimes mix emotions and feelings and motives when it comes to relationships. For example, we love certain people because it is expected (like family) or out of gratitude because someone does something for us. Maybe we begin to love someone because we are initially attracted to them. On the other hand stories like Beauty and the Beast question if we can find a different kind of love towards something we find hideous.

    In the terms of a straight friend, if you know that he will not be yours, or will not become something sexual, then the motivation for love is something different.
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    Feb 04, 2008 12:07 AM GMT
    I haven't had that opportunity yet.
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    Feb 05, 2008 2:39 AM GMT
    Gregg saidI haven't had that opportunity yet.
    Not even a crush?? You have plenty of time!