Training someone in sex and Touched Vs Untouched

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 28, 2008 3:43 AM GMT
    Should you really have to do it?

    I'm currently seeing someone who well... IS younger than me (only by 2 years) but seriously the guy doesn't seem to have much of a clue when it comes to sex. You'd think having the same plumbing would make it very straightforward and simple. Errr no.

    What's even worse is that I have a better understanding of how his body and bits work than he does.

    This concerns me. Am I right in thinking that I really have to weigh up the good points vs the bad ones and see if it is really worth the effort? My foreskin says no it's not.. especially if I have to tell him again that it only stretches so far...

    Not to mention that I am wondering whether a touched person can be with an untouched person.

    By touched.. I mean they have have hardships and adversity in their life.. This guy is untouched..has rich parents.. likes expensive things... refused to live in a unit because it looked dirty (I saw the unit and there was nothing wrong with it) and pretty much had no traumas disasters in his life while being spoonfed along the way. Can someone overcome being spoilt without having to go through a Goldie Hawn/Kurt Russell movie transformation?

    Thoughts.. comments.. suggestions... GO!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 28, 2008 5:01 AM GMT
    Two questions, two answers

    1) You have the unique opportunity to train him, mold him, and if it doesn't work out, every other guy after you that he will be with will either a) thank you b) curse you. If he is open to learning, then every time will get better. For me, the second time was always MUCH better than the first. My bf now though says when I met him I was in "high school" but through his teachings, I've now "graduated".

    2) No matter how "untouched" he is, at some point in his life he will have to go through something that causes pain. That being said, it is his choice to move past his upbringing. I know plenty of silver spoon kids that got everything they ever wanted, and were the nicest, sweetest people ever. And there were some I wished would lose everything just for one day, just to be brought down one peg. It's all a matter of how much you are willing to take, how much it annoys/irritates you. I guess it does since you posted about it. If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen. If this annoys so much you that it makes things bad, then it's best to move on. One thing I've learned, people hardly, if ever change- they always stay true to who they essentially are. And if they do change, something external is usually forcing the change. But anyways, it's all up to how much you can stand...
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Jan 28, 2008 11:59 AM GMT
    If you have an emotional connection with this man
    ...something that goes beyond just the physical jump into bed and Seeya...afterwards You can train him to do what you like in bed and if he feels the same way he'll be willing to go along with it

    Don't pigeonhole people based on your perception of their lives
    So what it he had rich parents
    His choices in life are going to be based on that reality
    but it has nothing to do with how he reacts sexually
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 28, 2008 3:27 PM GMT
    GQjock saidIf you have an emotional connection with this man
    ...something that goes beyond just the physical jump into bed and Seeya...afterwards You can train him to do what you like in bed and if he feels the same way he'll be willing to go along with it

    Don't pigeonhole people based on your perception of their lives
    So what it he had rich parents
    His choices in life are going to be based on that reality
    but it has nothing to do with how he reacts sexually


    I never said it had anything to do with how he reacts sexually, I was raising two different points.

    And the perception I have of him is the same one he has of himself. He knows it but carries on anyway and is rather adamant not to change. He knows he is arrogant and has readily admitted that he turns people off him... yet he doesn't seem to care but wonders why he can't keep a guy longer than a few weeks. It's just too obvious and I feel weird in having possibly being the one to reality check him.

    When people say things and behave in a certain manner, you can't help but categorise them. With this guy Im trying to work out if it's just a case of him realising that if I'm down here with the rest of the commoners,who fight on through life and aren't put on this earth to make him happy.