Gym jerk off while in a relationship?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 25, 2010 11:24 PM GMT
    Recently rejoined a gym after about two years of being a slacker. I was never huge fan of trolling the locker room for encounters, but every now and then there would be lingering glances in the communal shower, and very rarely some joint jerking off.

    Since then, I've gotten into a long term, serious relationship. After rejoining the gym last week, there was a guy checking me out in the shower, I looked back, I went to the steam room, he followed, we both jerked off. No touching; he tried to suck me, and I told him no, "too many people around." (really, just not that into him / in a relationship.)

    I later told my long-term bf about it that night, and he got really, really upset. I can honestly say that if he had done the same thing, I wouldn't have been upset.

    So: is it okay to look at / jerk off with a random locker room guy if you're in a serious / monogymous relationship? Am I just way out of line to think it's not a big deal at all?
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Apr 26, 2010 12:04 AM GMT
    It wouldn't be fine with me, but I think that kind of behavior isn't appropriate anyway.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 26, 2010 12:35 AM GMT
    I wouldn't care; but I've only had one completely monogamous relationship. That was the worst three years of my life.
    <-- totally anti-jealous
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 26, 2010 12:37 AM GMT
    Your boyfriend thinks it wasn't alright so it wasn't alright. You should have talked to him about the sort of sexual relationship you want rather than just assuming and hurting him.
  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    Apr 26, 2010 12:47 AM GMT
    MunchingZombie saidYour boyfriend thinks it wasn't alright so it wasn't alright. You should have talked to him about the sort of sexual relationship you want rather than just assuming and hurting him.
    oh puh-leeeeez!

    mz, did you really expect him to work into a converstion with his bf.."hey, do you mind if i have a random, meaningless, steamy jerk off with another guy in the gym's sauna sometime in the future"? icon_lol.gificon_rolleyes.gificon_razz.gif
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    Apr 26, 2010 3:47 AM GMT
    No, no I don't. It would be pretty unrealistic to go over every scenario. But it is inconsiderate to make an assumption that a sexual activity with another person outside the relationship would be okay. It is better to err on the side of caution than fuck up your relationship just to jerk off with another dude.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 26, 2010 7:30 AM GMT
    Diff ppl have different boundaries and values. Your BF doesn't like it so for your relationship, mutual JO with a stranger is off limits. You didn't know before, but now you know. For a first time mistake, i'd get over it..but there'd be hell to pay the next time around.
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    Apr 26, 2010 2:25 PM GMT
    lildude137159 saidRecently rejoined a gym after about two years of being a slacker. I was never huge fan of trolling the locker room for encounters, but every now and then there would be lingering glances in the communal shower, and very rarely some joint jerking off.

    Since then, I've gotten into a long term, serious relationship. After rejoining the gym last week, there was a guy checking me out in the shower, I looked back, I went to the steam room, he followed, we both jerked off. No touching; he tried to suck me, and I told him no, "too many people around." (really, just not that into him / in a relationship.)

    I later told my long-term bf about it that night, and he got really, really upset. I can honestly say that if he had done the same thing, I wouldn't have been upset.

    So: is it okay to look at / jerk off with a random locker room guy if you're in a serious / monogymous relationship? Am I just way out of line to think it's not a big deal at all?


    Is it a gay gym or just sex club? I don't get it, how could people just jerk off themselves, or have oral sex in the steam room when there are too many people around? No straight people looking?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 26, 2010 3:49 PM GMT
    Jerking off together with a stranger is an act of sex, counter what monogamy is all about.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 26, 2010 6:05 PM GMT
    Mmm if you gotta jerk-off with a another guy are you missing something in your ltr? Some need that the jerking off forfills or you wouldn't do it.
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    Apr 27, 2010 6:08 AM GMT
    walthamstudent said
    lildude137159 saidRecently rejoined a gym after about two years of being a slacker. I was never huge fan of trolling the locker room for encounters, but every now and then there would be lingering glances in the communal shower, and very rarely some joint jerking off.

    Since then, I've gotten into a long term, serious relationship. After rejoining the gym last week, there was a guy checking me out in the shower, I looked back, I went to the steam room, he followed, we both jerked off. No touching; he tried to suck me, and I told him no, "too many people around." (really, just not that into him / in a relationship.)

    I later told my long-term bf about it that night, and he got really, really upset. I can honestly say that if he had done the same thing, I wouldn't have been upset.

    So: is it okay to look at / jerk off with a random locker room guy if you're in a serious / monogymous relationship? Am I just way out of line to think it's not a big deal at all?


    Is it a gay gym or just sex club? I don't get it, how could people just jerk off themselves, or have oral sex in the steam room when there are too many people around? No straight people looking?


    I never understood it either...just accept that it happens
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 27, 2010 6:21 AM GMT
    you have a bf jerk with him why go do it with another guy for me that is cheating i dont care if u were not touching, there only 2 words for this


    JERKING WHORE JAJAJAJAJ
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 27, 2010 5:47 PM GMT
    its wrong what u did and even more wrong to jerk off in a steam room/gym
  • Space_Cowboy_...

    Posts: 3738

    May 03, 2010 11:05 AM GMT
    BELLO saidyou have a bf jerk with him why go do it with another guy for me that is cheating i dont care if u were not touching, there only 2 words for this


    JERKING WHORE JAJAJAJAJ




    not so big next time
  • Space_Cowboy_...

    Posts: 3738

    May 03, 2010 11:05 AM GMT
    And yeah it's kind of bad, and I'm sure it hurt him
  • HOTWEILLER

    Posts: 347

    May 03, 2010 11:28 AM GMT
    what's the focus of your relationship? Loyalty or fidelity?
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    May 03, 2010 2:45 PM GMT
    wrestlingguy saidwhat's the focus of your relationship? Loyalty or fidelity?


    That is really a very good remark.

    For me loyalty is much more important than fidelity. Infidelity I can live with. Disloyalty, OTOH, is an absolute deal breaker.
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    May 03, 2010 9:59 PM GMT
    Have you seen the movie Dorian Gray? There's a difference between pleasure and happiness... one is fleeting.
  • HOTWEILLER

    Posts: 347

    May 04, 2010 4:01 AM GMT
    viveutvivas said: For me loyalty is much more important than fidelity. Infidelity I can live with. Disloyalty, OTOH, is an absolute deal breaker.



    i totally agree,
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 04, 2010 1:49 PM GMT
    Sorry but it sounds like you have little emotional investment in this 'relationship' if you were that careless with it....
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    May 05, 2010 10:32 AM GMT
    It's not okay thinking it's not a big deal...from personal experience, I can say that the trust your boyfriend has/had for you is either on very shaky ground or has completely flown out the door, according to his reaction.
    If you're serious about your relationship, assure him that you'll never do it or anything like it again, and that you only have eyes (and every other body part) for him.
    Another path to take is to set out boundaries, and rules, like an open, or semi open relationship, if that's what you're wanting (though he may be totally monogamous). If that's the case, you and he may not be compatible.
    A saying comes to mind: Why go out for tube steak when you have a wiener at home? lol