Turning down sexual Advances

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 26, 2010 5:36 PM GMT
    Ok so i had a photo shoot this weekend. IT was a four session No real nudity, but semi risque. My photographer is an awesome guy with an awesome portfolio. He's worked with a lot of prominent figures so i know he's a respectable guy. To get to the point at the end of the shoot i finished a shower thing so he was drying me off. Naturally i became erect... idk what it is, i just do it when i'm touched. Well he grabbed my cock and started stroking it, he asked if i wanted a blow job and then i said no, i moved his hand. And then we got lunch afterwards and discussed our next shoot. It wasn't really awkward or anything, idk i've just learned to expect people to want to have sex with me.

    My question is what would you have done in the same situation? I'm a prude when it comes to sex? I like waiting for the right guy to have sex with, but it seems everyone else has a different agenda.
  • Timbales

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    Apr 26, 2010 5:44 PM GMT
    I'm not a model or familiar with shoots where a model would be nude, but if it was over why wouldn't you be toweling yourself off?
  • Nayro

    Posts: 1825

    Apr 26, 2010 5:51 PM GMT
    Timberoo saidI'm not a model or familiar with shoots where a model would be nude, but if it was over why wouldn't you be toweling yourself off?

    I was wondering the same!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 26, 2010 6:02 PM GMT
    This post made me happy...too many posts on the sexual/adult forum talking about random hookup issues and one night stand drama or details. props to you for saying no, etcetc.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 26, 2010 6:23 PM GMT
    TMNT saidMy question is what would you have done in the same situation?

    If I found the photographer attractive, I would have let him give me a bj.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 26, 2010 6:28 PM GMT
    Timberoo saidI'm not a model or familiar with shoots where a model would be nude, but if it was over why wouldn't you be toweling yourself off?


    We were still taking photos. And then he grabbed the towel. I just figured we were going to try the same look except dry.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 26, 2010 6:47 PM GMT
    id say no
    u gotta be professional.Modelling is a small world.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 26, 2010 7:48 PM GMT
    TMNT said
    Timberoo saidI'm not a model or familiar with shoots where a model would be nude, but if it was over why wouldn't you be toweling yourself off?


    We were still taking photos. And then he grabbed the towel. I just figured we were going to try the same look except dry.


    But that still doesn't answer the question: if you know you get hard when a guy touches you (ie. when you're wet & semi-naked), why didn't you dry yourself off?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 26, 2010 8:00 PM GMT
    When single, you are only required to have the sex you want to have.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 26, 2010 8:01 PM GMT
    This is a tough one.

    I would have said no as well but then again I wouldn't have let him towel me off and I wouldn't have gotten an erection AND I wouldn't have let him get far along enough to stroke it, ESPECIALLY since it wasn't a nude shoot. You BOTH were unprofessional on that end, I would say (as a Film and Television Director who works with actors).

    HOWEVER, sometimes unprofessionalism can lead to a solid relationship or close friendship in this business. If I were a model that was attracted to my photographer in more than just a physical way AND I let him stroke my erect cock while I was nude...I may have let him give me a blowjob...Hell, at that point I couldn't have been mad at him for asking...

    You had to be somewhat attracted to him as well if you got Hard. You get erections when ANYONE touches you? Even if your doctor touches you? Your mother? Your uncle? *New York Accent* Come on, son...LOL

    Over the years I've learned that most guys don't equate giving or receiving a blowjob to the first step of being in a monogamous relationship, lol. To many guys its just a blowjob. I have a good Actor friend that I messed around with once before and we have left it at that, no biggie. The idea of waiting for "The Right Guy" to show up reminds me too much of gender roles and a woman waiting for Prince Charming to deflower her...

    Basically what I'm saying is have (safe) fun with people you are into and let things progress as they may. This doesn't mean become a whore, sexing every person that shows interest in you, it just means if there is a mutual attraction (especially on more than a physical level) don't be afraid of where it may lead you.

    I'm reminded of this quote: "I'd rather make mistakes than do nothing...I'd rather mess up than miss out completely."


  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 26, 2010 10:53 PM GMT
    I get a feeling he's done this move to other guys before. It seems rehearsed 'cos he could have just thrown you the towel, you don't towel someone off unless you want to touch them.
    It could be just in the heat of the moment too. I do nudes for photographer friends and students and one guy kept talking about my foreskin piercing and kept inching closer and closer for a look but it's natural curiousity when you've got a naked guy in front of you.

    But I would've said no as well. Be professional above all and you don't know what he might do with the information that you play around on shoots (he could book you again for the same reason or even tell people 'that's the model who puts out'). You don't know this guy, don't believe because of his status that he's not capable of taking advantage of you, the flattery of having a guys' attention can make you do things you'd otherwise wouldn't. A great photo doesn't tell you what goes on behind the scenes taking it. If he wants to really pursue you he will do it out of the session.
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    Apr 26, 2010 11:43 PM GMT
    TMNT said
    Timberoo saidI'm not a model or familiar with shoots where a model would be nude, but if it was over why wouldn't you be toweling yourself off?


    We were still taking photos. And then he grabbed the towel. I just figured we were going to try the same look except dry.

    Unless he insisted to dry you off, you were kind of asking for it in a way. Most photographers who want to have a good professional relationship won't just do that. You sir, have an admirer.
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    Apr 27, 2010 5:53 AM GMT
    jayyp saidThis post made me happy...too many posts on the sexual/adult forum talking about random hookup issues and one night stand drama or details. props to you for saying no, etcetc.


    This.

    This to like, the Nth degree.
  • jrs1

    Posts: 4388

    Apr 27, 2010 6:24 AM GMT
    MunchingZombie saidWhen single, you are only required to have the sex you want to have.

    ... and when you're not single? you are required to have the sex you do not want to have?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 27, 2010 6:31 AM GMT
    jrs1 said
    MunchingZombie saidWhen single, you are only required to have the sex you want to have.

    ... and when you're not single? you are required to have the sex you do not want to have?


    Otherwise known as a non-secular marriage.
  • jrs1

    Posts: 4388

    Apr 27, 2010 6:33 AM GMT
    makavelli said
    jrs1 said
    MunchingZombie saidWhen single, you are only required to have the sex you want to have.

    ... and when you're not single? you are required to have the sex you do not want to have?


    Otherwise known as a non-secular marriage.

    ew. noted.
  • bmw0

    Posts: 588

    Apr 27, 2010 6:56 AM GMT
    Not everyone (me for instance) has an agenda for sex, so be careful with that generalization. For as many on here or any other site that want sex all the time there are plenty who do not. The ones that do seem to be a lot more forward so they get noticed a little more, in my opinion.

    Kudo's to you for saying no, but you should learn from this and try to avoid a similar situation in the future by drying yourself off. icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 27, 2010 7:17 AM GMT
    This was a professional gig, right? You were paying him, or he was paying you, or someone was paying the both of you to get this work done. Regardless, giving/receiving a bj while "on the clock" would definitely fall outside the boundary of professional behavior.

    If you are into the guy, ask him out AFTER the day's work is complete. Even better ... ask him after the entire series of shoots is done.

    And you've learned to expect that people want to have sex with you? Really?!? I can't imagine where these people might come to the conclusion that a guy that allows others to towel him off and gets an erection while they do so isn't open to that kind of behavior.
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    Apr 27, 2010 12:17 PM GMT
    search4more saidAnd you've learned to expect that people want to have sex with you? Really?!? I can't imagine where these people might come to the conclusion that a guy that allows others to towel him off and gets an erection while they do so isn't open to that kind of behavior.


    ...Exactly what I was saying...Sounds to me like you both were giving each other some serious signs of affection...
  • MuscleComeBac...

    Posts: 2376

    Apr 27, 2010 12:43 PM GMT
    This is not a tough one....you were right to say no, and frankly, I hope you never have to deal with him again.

    As gifted as he may be, it was entirely unprofessional and out of place. Period. It's almost cliche. You say that it was a professional shoot, not a porn shoot, so I have to assume it was a 'legit' gig for print.
    (using the term legit vs porn not as pejorative marker, but only to make the distinction between use and distribution)
    You don't cross that line ON the job. Fine if he wants to contact you later, ask you out on a date, give you a choice after the shoot, but in reality, he compromised himself and put you in an impossible and demeaning position and it's disrespectful - erection or not. Plenty of men get hard when touched, as we've recently learned here even a stationary bike can make magic!

    No, he was flat out fucking inappropriate, and it's damn creepy! Like Bilbo reaching for the ring....PRECIOUS! and then backing away unable to help himself. Crap.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 27, 2010 12:55 PM GMT
    bmw0 saidNot everyone (me for instance) has an agenda for sex, so be careful with that generalization. For as many on here or any other site that want sex all the time there are plenty who do not.

    Yeah totally agree with you, well said.
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    Apr 27, 2010 1:22 PM GMT
    jrs1 said
    MunchingZombie saidWhen single, you are only required to have the sex you want to have.

    ... and when you're not single? you are required to have the sex you do not want to have?


    Ya, for the sake of a relationship sometimes you just have to give a blowjob when you would rather go to sleep.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 27, 2010 1:27 PM GMT
    barefootdude strikes again.
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Apr 27, 2010 1:32 PM GMT
    I would have yelled "BAD TOUCH! BAD TOUCH! I NEED AN ADULT!"
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 27, 2010 1:37 PM GMT
    TMNT said

    My question is what would you have done in the same situation? I'm a prude when it comes to sex? I like waiting for the right guy to have sex with, but it seems everyone else has a different agenda.


    As soon as I realised I was getting hard I would have finished drying myself.

    Regardless of who they are, you put a hard dick in someones face, they're probably going to touch it.

    As soon as you felt his hand you should have pushed him back and told him to get on his horse rather than let him stroke it. Unless your eyes were closed?