For Those Who Think A Little Differently.....

  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Apr 26, 2010 11:15 PM GMT
    puns.jpg

    Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine.

    A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.

    Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.

    Practice safe eating - always use condiments.

    Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

    Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.

    A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

    Local Area Network in Australia - the LAN down under.

    Every calendar's days are numbered.

    A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

    He had a photographic memory that was never developed.

    Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.

    Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

    Acupuncture is a jab well done.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 27, 2010 12:48 AM GMT
    Very punny, sir. icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 27, 2010 1:06 AM GMT
    This made my day.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 27, 2010 1:51 AM GMT
    ... if you appreciated the first set, here are some more you might find amusing.


    1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

    2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

    3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

    4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.

    5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

    6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

    7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

    8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

    9. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

    10. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

    11. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'

    12. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

    13. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'

    14. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

    15. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran

    16. A backward poet writes inverse.

    17. In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.

    18. When cannibals ate a missionary they got a taste of religion.
  • Thirdbeach

    Posts: 1364

    Apr 27, 2010 3:10 AM GMT
    I was asked to write a list of 10 puns that would make people laugh.











    No pun in 10 did.
  • thatonedude21

    Posts: 223

    Apr 27, 2010 3:12 AM GMT
    WIN
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 27, 2010 3:14 AM GMT
    You have amused me. You may live.
  • mcwclewis

    Posts: 1701

    Apr 27, 2010 4:10 AM GMT
    HA!
  • gumbosolo

    Posts: 382

    Apr 27, 2010 4:23 AM GMT
    Subordinate clauses. Wow.

    For that, a foot picture tomorrow, friend. You're warned.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 27, 2010 4:32 AM GMT
    most puns make me cringe, but i laugh anyway.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 27, 2010 6:32 AM GMT
    These made my day icon_razz.gificon_biggrin.gificon_cool.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 27, 2010 6:39 AM GMT
    malefeet saidHe had a photographic memory that was never developed.

    OMG dats me hahaha