We are all getting older, and tomorrow it may be your turn:

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    Apr 27, 2010 2:13 AM GMT
    A women I care for who is a victom of Alzheimer's Disease. Her husband comes in just about every day to feed her and too have his lunch with her. But she no longer remembers who he is, and has not for many years now. As we talked about this Yesterday I said: "you are a good man, you still come in everyday; albeit she don't remember you, or know you have even been in, or you still care."

    He looked at me, and said "she doesn't know me, but.......I still know her." I had to walk away, as this is the kind of love I want in my life. It may be the kind of love I give, but is it what I have?

    True love is neither physical (shock to many size queens) or romantic. True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, will no be.

    Tomorrow may be your turn!
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    Apr 27, 2010 2:18 AM GMT
    Pattison said

    True love is neither physical (shock to many size queens) or romantic. true love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, will no be.


    I think that just about sums it up. Looks fade, and if we are lucky enough to live a long life, the mind might start to go also, but the soul remains and if you truly love someone, that isn't going to change.
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    Apr 27, 2010 4:25 AM GMT
    QUOTE AUTHOR GOES HEREHe looked at me, and said "she doesn't know me, but.......I still know her." I had to walk away, as this is the kind of love I want in my life. It may be the kind of love I give, but is it what I have?


    We all want what people have, we see a guy taking his man on boat cruising all over the world while buying roses to his love at each stop he makes and we go " I wanna find a man that does that to me too" and the list goes on and on.

    Men should know that each man they have is unique, each thing we do is unique in our ways .. so we actually have something that people don't have! but what we seek is perfection by watching men doing stuff that we wish we can have but in fact its the opposite way though you might think that what you're doing with your guy is simple not too fancy, men on the other hand see it as something that they want.

    each man has its own GRACE .. once he loses it then he will see what he has is something was worth fighting for.

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    Apr 27, 2010 5:00 AM GMT
    simpleguy20 said
    QUOTE AUTHOR GOES HEREHe looked at me, and said "she doesn't know me, but.......I still know her." I had to walk away, as this is the kind of love I want in my life. It may be the kind of love I give, but is it what I have?


    We all want what people have, we see a guy taking his man on boat cruising all over the world while buying roses to his love at each stop he makes and we go " I wanna find a man that does that to me too" and the list goes on and on.

    Men should know that each man they have is unique, each thing we do is unique in our ways .. so we actually have something that people don't have! but what we seek is perfection by watching men doing stuff that we wish we can have but in fact its the opposite way though you might think that what you're doing with your guy is simple not too fancy, men on the other hand see it as something that they want.

    each man has its own GRACE .. once he loses it then he will see what he has is something was worth fighting for.



    I thank you for your impute! But you know it's not a normal feeling for me to want things other people have, thats theirs, and not mine. Yes I have seen number of relationships I've respected, not sure any gay ones, but I've never wanted their relationship, as I am not them. I do my best to never covet, and in my life I've done well with that.

    I have lived with a guy for 20 years, and if he was to suffer from Alzheimers, I would give the care and dedication talked about above, and he is only my companion and not my soulmate. yet I know he would just about never, if at all come to see me, as he is just to self absorbed.

    But I also belive prevention is better than a cure tooicon_wink.gif
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    Apr 27, 2010 10:17 PM GMT
    Yes, our healthy lives can change on a dime. We could get injured, develop a disease that we didn't ask for, become a physical liability.

    That's why we foremost have to show sincere compasion to all that require it.

    For that, I give mega hairy muscle hugs wishing all of us to be a little more caring and concerned, and put our muscles to action.
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    Apr 27, 2010 10:38 PM GMT
    Outstanding post! Outstanding replies!icon_wink.gif
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    Apr 27, 2010 10:42 PM GMT
    Pattison saidA women I care for who is a victom of Alzheimer's Disease. Her husband comes in just about every day to feed her and too have his lunch with her. But she no longer remembers who he is, and has not for many years now. As we talked about this Yesterday I said: "you are a good man, you still come in everyday; albeit she don't remember you, or know you have even been in, or you still care."

    He looked at me, and said "she doesn't know me, but.......I still know her." I had to walk away, as this is the kind of love I want in my life. It may be the kind of love I give, but is it what I have?

    True love is neither physical (shock to many size queens) or romantic. True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, will no be.

    Tomorrow may be your turn!


    I don't no If I accept your theory fully. True love is both physical and mental. You need both or have had to have achieved both at one point in the relationship to reach such tender gratitude (love). Relationships tend to fall apart when one side begins to actively hold back, deny one of the requirements of a relationship. Some relationships are just "pacts of convenience". Pacts of Conveniece are not loving relationships.
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    Apr 27, 2010 10:44 PM GMT
    Today I'm going to dance in the rain, and reflect on the fact, the people who have the most may not be the happiest, it's the people who make the most of what they have are, more times than not.
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    Apr 27, 2010 10:50 PM GMT
    hector2009 said
    Pattison saidA women I care for who is a victom of Alzheimer's Disease. Her husband comes in just about every day to feed her and too have his lunch with her. But she no longer remembers who he is, and has not for many years now. As we talked about this Yesterday I said: "you are a good man, you still come in everyday; albeit she don't remember you, or know you have even been in, or you still care."

    He looked at me, and said "she doesn't know me, but.......I still know her." I had to walk away, as this is the kind of love I want in my life. It may be the kind of love I give, but is it what I have?

    True love is neither physical (shock to many size queens) or romantic. True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, will no be.

    Tomorrow may be your turn!


    I don't no If I accept your theory fully. True love is both physical and mental. You need both or have had to have achieved both at one point in the relationship to reach such tender gratitude (love). Relationships tend to fall apart when one side begins to actively hold back, deny one of the requirements of a relationship. Some relationships are just "pacts of convenience". Pacts of Conveniece are not loving relationships.


    But you don't have to accept anything. I accept you and I could be standing side by side, look at the same artwork, yet we both see it differently, we both get something diffrent from it too.
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    Apr 27, 2010 10:52 PM GMT
    This has got to be one of the best posts I have read. The OP is obviously just the kind of man I would love to be with... not necessarily HIM..but that kind of guy!
    Very touching and your word are beautiful... I will follow this forum closely and see what other have to say.
    Your ideas of what a TRUE LTR and LOVE can be is very moving, to say the least!!!
  • rdberg1957

    Posts: 662

    Apr 27, 2010 10:57 PM GMT
    I don't have any romantic ideal, but I have gay friend who is 71. I have had two surgeries in the last three years. He has helped me through both. I have a straight male friend who is 67 who has also supported me. He listens to me as I transform my career.
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    Apr 28, 2010 12:08 AM GMT
    If we discovered that we had only five minutes left to say all that we wanted to say every telephone booth would be be occupied by people calling other people to stammer that they love them.

    Christopher Morley.

    I may awake and find myself dead tomorrow, so today I always let the ones I love know I love them, there may not be many, or only a few, but I let them know; I love you!

    I am only one. But still, I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something, I will not refuse to do something I can do.
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    Apr 28, 2010 12:23 AM GMT
    jprichva said
    Pattison saidIf we discovered that we had only five minutes left to say all that we wanted to say every telephone booth would be be occupied by people calling other people to stammer that they love them.

    Christopher Morley


    Nowadays they'd all be on cell phones.

    It's the message that counts, not the medium.

    Welcome back, JP.
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    Apr 28, 2010 2:28 AM GMT
    What a nice thread! it is nice to read inspiring words from the wisest guys on RJ! I am one who believes that as we mature wisdom is the fountain of youth of the soul!!


    Leandro ♥
  • MuscleComeBac...

    Posts: 2376

    Apr 28, 2010 3:16 AM GMT
    Every man needs, and on some level knows that he wants, a witness to his life.

    In relationships, it is not always the case that each partner is witness for the other. In fact, I think it's quite rare. Most often it's a kind of linear thing - one man witnesses the life of his partner, who in turn witnesses the life of a dear friend, who in turn witnesses the life of his long-ago widowed father, who in turn witnessed the life of his late wife, and on, and on. So very rarely is the chain insular and self-contained.

    I don't know that either form is better than the other, or that quantifying them benefits the topic. It's simply an observation, something I've witnessed, if you will.

    So many gay men were witness to more than one life in the 80's and 90's, men who have survived the HIV pandemic. Both long-term survivors living with HIV and HIV-negative lovers, friends, brothers and sons. I think for many of those men -- not all - to witness any further would be unbearable, and I think the longing for a witness is particularly deep for them, and difficult, for many. But I don't think it's a conscious thing - knowing if you are witnessing a life, or if you have done so. I think it's quite unconscious.

    The only conscious acts may be the longing for a witness, and the possibility of being one's own witness. It does happen. I know it does. What I can't determine is whether it's heaven or hell to do so.
  • jc_online

    Posts: 487

    Apr 28, 2010 3:44 AM GMT
    On this topic, I recommend the movie The Notebook. And a box of tissues. An awesome movie about this very topic. I saw my mom go through this deterioration of mind, and my dad stood by her until he passed away just 47 days before her. Unconditional love is amazing to see.
  • sportsjockla

    Posts: 498

    Apr 28, 2010 3:58 AM GMT
    I have a client who has Alzheimer's. I've been training him for 2 years now and have watched him decline. Over the last few months I have seen him decline rapidly. Its a very sad disease to have. I did not know this man when he was healthy but his wife tells me how sharp he was and how he built a multimillion dollar real estate biz
  • BIG_N_TALL

    Posts: 2190

    Apr 28, 2010 4:13 AM GMT
    My grandfather had Alzheimer's Disease - he died at the age of 75 roughly four years ago this coming August. He had an incredibly difficult life - his mother and father died before he was 10 years old... had mostly mean or indifferent brothers... had his closest brother die from brain tumors... and grow up 'dirt poor' following the Great Depression.

    He worked hard and spent his life with my grandmother - working as a handy man and farmer. He was diagnosed with Alzheimer's Disease in 2005 - roughly three years after having a major falling out with my uncles over who was getting what in the will (mostly over land rights). It created a major rift in my mother's tight-knit family which was never repaired - I haven't spoken with these same uncles and their families in nearly 9 years. Before the family falling out in 2002, my grandmother died in 1999 after spending a year and a half in the hospital at the age of 64 - of which my grandfather spent night after night after night with her in the hospital. It was emotionally and physically draining for him. His face spoke volumes.

    By time he developed Alzheimer's, he had remarried because he was so lonely (and I don't blame him for it), but to him, it was like my grandmother just died. I can only imagine his agony of being told my grandmother died... over and over again. He even managed to seek away one day and walk two miles down this country road with a bundle of flowers (I presume he picked himself) to take to my grandmother's grave.

    It is an incredibly difficult disease to deal with - physically and emotionally. It often crosses my mind if I have the Alzheimer's gene. The idea of me forgetting everything... knowing who I am... what I achieved... more importantly the person I fall in love with (soon hopefully) really bothers me.

    Anyways, I really relate to the OP... I hope someone will be just as loving and loyal to me as my grandfather was to my grandmother... and the husband in the OP. I totally know what you mean when you say "tomorrow may be [my] turn."
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    Apr 28, 2010 4:32 AM GMT
    QUOTE AUTHOR GOES HEREI don't no If I accept your theory fully. True love is both physical and mental. You need both or have had to have achieved both at one point in the relationship to reach such tender gratitude (love). Relationships tend to fall apart when one side begins to actively hold back, deny one of the requirements of a relationship. Some relationships are just "pacts of convenience". Pacts of Conveniece are not loving relationships.


    Since it's legit to have an opinion around here, I'm gonna say I don't see what you said is TRULY true. (J.K. about the legit part ;p). True love is physical and mental, agree, but that's not what true love means. each man defines his way of expressing true love. you see it as being physical and mental thing, while I see true love of as being with someone that I can care about. true love to me is seeing my man watching me while his eyes saying "I love you, you're all I care about". physical and mental, they're things that considered to be part of what true love is BUT not as main thing to what true love means.

    Ab,