i keep getting mistaken for straight...

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 27, 2010 2:49 PM GMT
    short of wearing a sign around my neck, how do i let guys know i'm gay? do people still pay attention to the "codes," like bandanas in the pocket, earrings in the right ear, or the way i cross my legs? it seems a little awkward to have to take gay guys aside and tell them. even then, what exactly do you say?

    "you know i'm gay, right?" <-- kind of patronizing

    "i'm gay...i'm one of you." <--- desperate

    "i know i have daughters and was married and all, but i got divorced because i'm G-A-Y." <-- TMI

    "please like me. i need gay friends and, oh btw, i'm gay." <-- yeah, no.

    for some reason, everyone else seems to "know" who the others are that are gay...but since i'm not leandro gay (sorry, leandro, i had to do it), i find myself in this weird place of being "out" but still "in."

    frustrating.

    to everyone out there: just because i have kids, don't assume i'm straight. and most of you already know this, but just because i like football, beer, and can't really speak too much about "project runway," don't assume i'm straight.

    really.

    /rant
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 27, 2010 3:12 PM GMT
    Introduce yourself as 'Gay [YOUR NAME HERE]', for example if your name is Bob, say "Hi, I'm Gay Bob."

    If anyone asks you why you're called that, just say "Because my name is Bob, and I'm gay."

    Should solve your problems!

    I don't really know why it bothers you to be honest, I don't care if people assume I'm straight.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 27, 2010 3:20 PM GMT
    If it's any consolation, I don't think you're straight. icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 27, 2010 4:05 PM GMT
    Hanging out with my gay friends is a big clue, esp. when several are with their partners, and others have more flair than I do.

    That, and speaking about my ex, who is a HE helps. icon_rolleyes.gif
  • Tritimium

    Posts: 261

    Apr 27, 2010 4:52 PM GMT
    There are plenty of guys out there who just DIG guys that are gay but don't 'appear' to be (i.e. "straight acting") - pretty much like many of the guys here on RJ, in fact. So, be yourself, but put yourself out there into the gay community.
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    Apr 28, 2010 12:21 AM GMT
    rangard said...
    to everyone out there: ... most of you already know this, but just because i like football, beer, and can't really speak too much about "project runway,"...
    I'm sorry, but your Gay-Card has been revoked. You can reapply to Gaydom again in 2012. Use the time well to get educated on gay subject-matter.

    Ask other men where they bought their jeans or shirt or jacket or boots. No straight men would ask that question.
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    Apr 28, 2010 3:12 AM GMT
    bernd said
    rangard said...
    to everyone out there: ... most of you already know this, but just because i like football, beer, and can't really speak too much about "project runway,"...
    I'm sorry, but your Gay-Card has been revoked. You can reapply to Gaydom again in 2012. Use the time well to get educated on gay subject-matter.

    Ask other men where they bought their jeans or shirt or jacket or boots. No straight men would ask that question.


    i...um...never got a gay-card.

    icon_cry.gif
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    Apr 28, 2010 3:25 AM GMT
    rangard saidshort of wearing a sign around my neck, how do i let guys know i'm gay? do people still pay attention to the "codes," like bandanas in the pocket, earrings in the right ear, or the way i cross my legs? it seems a little awkward to have to take gay guys aside and tell them. even then, what exactly do you say?

    "you know i'm gay, right?" <-- kind of patronizing

    "i'm gay...i'm one of you." <--- desperate

    "i know i have daughters and was married and all, but i got divorced because i'm G-A-Y." <-- TMI

    "please like me. i need gay friends and, oh btw, i'm gay." <-- yeah, no.

    for some reason, everyone else seems to "know" who the others are that are gay...but since i'm not leandro gay (sorry, leandro, i had to do it), i find myself in this weird place of being "out" but still "in."

    frustrating.

    to everyone out there: just because i have kids, don't assume i'm straight. and most of you already know this, but just because i like football, beer, and can't really speak too much about "project runway," don't assume i'm straight.

    really.

    /rant

    Such a lot of bullshit! ...
    puking.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 28, 2010 3:35 AM GMT
    rangard saidi...um...never got a gay-card.

    icon_cry.gif

    Here, you can borrow mine:

    DSC01162.jpg
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 28, 2010 4:39 AM GMT
    Hey,

    QUOTE AUTHOR GOES HEREto everyone out there: just because i have kids, don't assume i'm straight. and most of you already know this, but just because i like football, beer, and can't really speak too much about "project runway," don't assume i'm straight.


    I'm happy that you have decided to let yourself out your shell and actually say that you're gay after being married. There is no best way to let people know that you're gay and not be all "creepy about it" than going to gay bars. There you can do what you want drink beer watch football even ;p and most of all be who you are as a GAY man. Hope life treats you well.

    Ab,
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 28, 2010 8:38 AM GMT
    I wear glitter and wear a tshirt that says "I like it there" with a little arrow that points to ma fab booty
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 28, 2010 8:42 AM GMT
    what a fag.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 28, 2010 8:52 AM GMT
    i wouldnt worry. The bouncers at a gay nightclub took me aside in the line to ask me if I knew it was a gay club. I replied, 'i hope so'.

    Another night I was fished out of the line and ushered in without paying the cover charge.

    I figure the only really stereotypical gay thing is MSM sex. Everything else doesnt matter to me. Including labels of 'straight' boy who want some of this :-P
  • Space_Cowboy_...

    Posts: 3738

    Apr 28, 2010 9:09 AM GMT
    Just chat up some of the gays and make friendships making friends is making friends you shouldn't split them into gay or straight; you don't separate them by race right? so why separate them by sexuality?
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    Apr 28, 2010 10:19 AM GMT
    Red_Vespa said
    rangard saidi...um...never got a gay-card.

    icon_cry.gif

    Here, you can borrow mine:

    DSC01162.jpg


    Mine was revoked a couple decades ago. I keep shreading the application when I get it. Sports, beer and rock music mean too much to me. lol
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 28, 2010 11:40 AM GMT
    I feel your pain, rangard. People are genuinely surprised when I tell them I am gay. I don't know why.... I thought it was always as plain as the nose on my face. I guess I don't mind it so much anymore. If it's one thing that it has taught me it's that my sexual orientation is just one small part of a larger whole.... and thank God people see the forest as well as the one "pink tree."
  • rdberg1957

    Posts: 662

    Apr 28, 2010 11:58 AM GMT
    I also understand this. Sometimes, even though loads of gay men say they want someone who is "straight-acting," many run the other direction from someone who is just comfortable being themselves (with that self having many culturally accepted masculine qualities). Gay liberation was about becoming who you are and not having to be what someone else wants you to be. Not everyone has to like me or notice me, but I want someone to notice me.
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    Apr 28, 2010 2:44 PM GMT
    Caslon14000 said
    rangard saidshort of wearing a sign around my neck, how do i let guys know i'm gay? do people still pay attention to the "codes," like bandanas in the pocket, earrings in the right ear, or the way i cross my legs? it seems a little awkward to have to take gay guys aside and tell them. even then, what exactly do you say?

    "you know i'm gay, right?" <-- kind of patronizing

    "i'm gay...i'm one of you." <--- desperate

    "i know i have daughters and was married and all, but i got divorced because i'm G-A-Y." <-- TMI

    "please like me. i need gay friends and, oh btw, i'm gay." <-- yeah, no.

    for some reason, everyone else seems to "know" who the others are that are gay...but since i'm not leandro gay (sorry, leandro, i had to do it), i find myself in this weird place of being "out" but still "in."

    frustrating.

    to everyone out there: just because i have kids, don't assume i'm straight. and most of you already know this, but just because i like football, beer, and can't really speak too much about "project runway," don't assume i'm straight.

    really.

    /rant

    Such a lot of bullshit! ...
    puking.gif


    harsh.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 28, 2010 2:44 PM GMT
    MeOhMy saidwhat a fag.


    harsher.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 29, 2010 11:07 PM GMT
    rangard said
    i...um...never got a gay-card.

    icon_cry.gif

    An impostor icon_eek.gif

    How can you prove that you are gay without your gay card? Are you on RJ illegally? If the Gaystapo catches you, they'll send you back to Straightsville right away.

    I don't know how you behave around gay guys, but start sending out signals, like maintaining eye-contact, touching them (non-sexually), more facial expressions or talking with your hands.
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    Apr 29, 2010 11:12 PM GMT
    paulflexes saidIf it's any consolation, I don't think you're straight. icon_biggrin.gif


    icon_lol.gif agreesicon_exclaim.gificon_twisted.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 29, 2010 11:24 PM GMT
    SAHEM62896 saidI feel your pain, rangard. People are genuinely surprised when I tell them I am gay. I don't know why.... I thought it was always as plain as the nose on my face. I guess I don't mind it so much anymore. If it's one thing that it has taught me it's that my sexual orientation is just one small part of a larger whole.... and thank God people see the forest as well as the one "pink tree."

    Same here
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 29, 2010 11:26 PM GMT
    rangard saidshort of wearing a sign around my neck, how do i let guys know i'm gay? do people still pay attention to the "codes," like bandanas in the pocket, earrings in the right ear, or the way i cross my legs? it seems a little awkward to have to take gay guys aside and tell them. even then, what exactly do you say?

    "you know i'm gay, right?" <-- kind of patronizing

    "i'm gay...i'm one of you." <--- desperate

    "i know i have daughters and was married and all, but i got divorced because i'm G-A-Y." <-- TMI

    "please like me. i need gay friends and, oh btw, i'm gay." <-- yeah, no.

    for some reason, everyone else seems to "know" who the others are that are gay...but since i'm not leandro gay (sorry, leandro, i had to do it), i find myself in this weird place of being "out" but still "in."

    frustrating.

    to everyone out there: just because i have kids, don't assume i'm straight. and most of you already know this, but just because i like football, beer, and can't really speak too much about "project runway," don't assume i'm straight.

    really.

    /rant



    Agreed. I've just started doing the Lady Gaga eye triangle thingy when I meet people for now on. It seems to help. (jk)