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I keep attracting guys that just want a one-nighter

  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Apr 28, 2010 6:31 AM GMT
    I am at a loss, I feel. In the beginning, it was just guys that wanted to be my friend. After hanging out with them for more than one time they start to show what they really want. Me. In bed. Ok, granted, it's to be wanted. Yes, I understand. However, I choose for myself to be in a relationship ( a committed one at that) before I do anything with a guy, right?


    Anyways, whatever, have you guys ever encountered something like this that you DIDN'T want? It's just a little frustrating to say the least. To me, anyways. Nothing against people who like that stuff (GO FOR IT YAY)

    (topic is not a situation I find myself in. it was purely for the sake of discussion)
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Apr 28, 2010 6:39 AM GMT
    Soulasphyx saidI am at a loss, I feel. In the beginning, it was just guys that wanted to be my friend. After hanging out with them for more than one time they start to show what they really want. Me. In bed. Ok, granted, it's to be wanted. Yes, I understand. However, I choose for myself to be in a relationship ( a committed one at that) before I do anything with a guy, right?


    Anyways, whatever, have you guys ever encountered something like this that you DIDN'T want? It's just a little frustrating to say the least. To me, anyways. Nothing against people who like that stuff (GO FOR IT YAY)


    I'm confused. Are you actually a victim, here?
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Apr 28, 2010 6:55 AM GMT
    Although for a lot of the promiscuous one's...that isn't a problem... I can see how it is. Sucks. At least if you keep up with your own standard you'll eventually find what you truly want.
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Apr 28, 2010 7:16 AM GMT
    Well I keep attracting ones that wanna date me... wanna swap? icon_razz.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Apr 28, 2010 12:20 PM GMT
    lilTanker saidWell I keep attracting ones that wanna date me... wanna swap? icon_razz.gif
    We shall!
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Apr 28, 2010 12:33 PM GMT
    It won't turn into a one night stand if you don't let it turn into a one night stand............I don't think anyone is forcing you to do anything you don't want to do.

    Guys being horny isn't exactly a shocking concept. Being a big boy and handling sexual pressure from other men (or women) isn't a revolutionary idea either.

    You have the power to get what you want and people pick up on those vibes.

    Waiting to have sex until you at least feel a certain comeraderie and trust with the guy, for me, ends up being the best bet. The best sex too. Make him wait and you are in the driver's seat and call the shots.

    Being savy and smart about human nature pays off big time. Flirtation and romance rules. In fact, YOU be the one ready to jump on his bones and let him know it but kep him om his toes.

    If I have sex with a guy we both finish with a smile on our faces. No shy goodbyes with insincere "yeah..let's call each other. I make that call, or get the call the next day becasue we both want to.

    Work it man. Don't play the victim.

  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Apr 28, 2010 12:55 PM GMT
    lilTanker saidWell I keep attracting ones that wanna date me... wanna swap? icon_razz.gif
    I have the same problem...everyone wants to be monogamously dating instead of FWB's. icon_lol.gif (granted, though, the random one-nighter hookups aren't anywhere near as fun as having 'regular' friends. icon_wink.gif )
  • Timbales Posts: 13815
    QUOTE Apr 28, 2010 12:59 PM GMT
    I keep attracting guys that ask "Is this seat taken?" so they can take it to another table.
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Apr 28, 2010 1:32 PM GMT
    Timberoo saidI keep attracting guys that ask "Is this seat taken?" so they can take it to another table.
    Sit at the bar. Problem solved. icon_razz.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Apr 28, 2010 2:08 PM GMT
    Is this a parody of the "I keep attracting bottoms" thread, or are you serious?
    If you are serious, fret not. Someone out there is going to want you more than just for your body. You just have to look hard and be patient.
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Apr 28, 2010 2:10 PM GMT
    SAHEM62896 saidIs this a parody of the "I keep attracting bottoms" thread, or are you serious?
    If you are serious, fret not. Someone out there is going to want you more than just for your body. You just have to look hard and be patient.
    If that was not a pun, it should be. LOL
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Apr 28, 2010 2:11 PM GMT
    Lol, well there was this one time. From when I was 17 till now.

    It's the way you meet people, the kind of people you meet and the way you portray yourself to said people.

    Be very clear you are not into one nighters. Spend longer than usual to get to know the dude, that will figure him out.

    There are loads of people who think the same way, but not many people that actually make a concerted effort to do something about it.
  • Celticmusl Posts: 4324
    QUOTE Apr 28, 2010 2:14 PM GMT
    Seriously, wake up. Don't you have another thread complaining about tops hitting on you too? It sucks being gay and wanting more than just a one night stand, but you are actually surprised that many of the guys out there just want to hook up?

    You're new here right? I mean, on planet earth?

    I would say 99% of all the contact I've gotten from gay men is for a hook up. I don't believe they make up the majority of gay men, it's just that they are the ones that constantly make encounters with anyone, anywhere, and any time.

    Treat them like flies, just a non thinking irritation best to be avoided.
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Apr 28, 2010 2:24 PM GMT
    Celticmusl saidSeriously, wake up. Don't you have another thread complaining about tops hitting on you too? It sucks being gay and wanting more than just a one night stand, but you are actually surprised that many of the guys out there just want to hook up?

    You're new here right? I mean, on planet earth?

    I would say 99% of all the contact I've gotten from gay men is for a hook up. I don't believe they make up the majority of gay men, it's just that they are the ones that constantly make encounters with anyone, anywhere, and any time.

    Treat them like flies, just a non thinking irritation best to be avoided.


    Exactly...and if they're really bothering you, grab an aerosol can of hairspray and a lighter...that should take care of things.
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Apr 28, 2010 2:25 PM GMT
    dont feel bad, its not that your attracting them its just thats all there is icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Apr 28, 2010 2:29 PM GMT
    Timberoo saidI keep attracting guys that ask "Is this seat taken?" so they can take it to another table.

    Oh gawd, so funny, so true! Nothing in the world worse than sitting alone at a cocktail table, and people start taking your other chairs away. Pretty soon it's you, the table, and the chair you're sitting on yourself, making you look all the lonelier, all the less likely to attract a guy, with no chair to offer him.

    BTW, when somebody goes to take a chair I answer "That's for a friend I'm expecting." And if he never shows up, well, I guess he had a change of plans, can't blame me if he's unreliable, right?
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Apr 28, 2010 2:30 PM GMT
    Im definitely finding this as well. My way of coping with it is realizing that i, until recently, only wanted this as well. Thus, i have matured and have to wait for others to do so as well.
  • Celticmusl Posts: 4324
    QUOTE Apr 28, 2010 2:35 PM GMT
    Red_Vespa said
    Timberoo saidI keep attracting guys that ask "Is this seat taken?" so they can take it to another table.

    Oh gawd, so funny, so true! Nothing in the world worse than sitting alone at a cocktail table, and people start taking your other chairs away. Pretty soon it's you, the table, and the chair you're sitting on yourself, making you look all the lonelier, all the less likely to attract a guy, with no chair to offer him.

    BTW, when somebody goes to take a chair I answer "That's for a friend I'm expecting." And if he never shows up, well, I guess he had a change of plans, can't blame me if he's unreliable, right?


    My empty chair is usually reserved for my invisible boyfriend that has a penchant for being terribly late. I need to start wearing a watch because having to get my cell phone out of my pocket every few minutes to check the time in these situations is beginning to wear out my pant pockets.
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Apr 28, 2010 3:42 PM GMT
    Celticmusl saidSeriously, wake up. Don't you have another thread complaining about tops hitting on you too? It sucks being gay and wanting more than just a one night stand, but you are actually surprised that many of the guys out there just want to hook up?

    You're new here right? I mean, on planet earth?

    I would say 99% of all the contact I've gotten from gay men is for a hook up. I don't believe they make up the majority of gay men, it's just that they are the ones that constantly make encounters with anyone, anywhere, and any time.

    Treat them like flies, just a non thinking irritation best to be avoided.
    I am awake.


    Well, I think I am at least. icon_eek.gif
  • rnch Posts: 10905
    QUOTE Apr 28, 2010 4:52 PM GMT
    are you complaining or bragging about being able to have this attraction? icon_lol.gif
  • SoDakGuy Posts: 1862
    QUOTE Apr 28, 2010 4:59 PM GMT
    Dude! SIGN ME UP!

    I wanna attract guys for one nighters right now! That's all the attention I can give to someone regarding how crazy my life is right now.

    That would be AWESOME!
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Apr 28, 2010 5:02 PM GMT
    ya man, youre so hot that everybody wants to fuck ya, what a terrible life.
  • rnch Posts: 10905
    QUOTE Apr 28, 2010 5:23 PM GMT
    charlitos saidya man, youre so hot that everybody wants to fuck ya, what a terrible life.
    ah thinks he beeeeez braggin' icon_wink.gif
  • Midas426 Posts: 953
    QUOTE Apr 28, 2010 5:25 PM GMT
    Of course it depends on the guys you attract....icon_eek.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Apr 28, 2010 6:15 PM GMT
    Where are you "fishing"? That might have a lot to do with the kinds of guys you're attracting.

    If you're hanging out at "fast food", expect to be treated like fast food. If you seek out the places where "fine, leisurely, dining" is the destination, then you will meet those who are more likely to want to "dine" instead.