Help I am loosing my friends!!!

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 28, 2010 3:45 PM GMT
    Hey,guys,

    I need some of your wisdom!! oh forum masters. I have an active life style now I am more then ever into bulding my body. I love how it makes me feel and having a nice and healthy body. My diet and drinking habits have changed. But my friends are not changing along. Almost all of my close friends who I love they all started it too but i think they thought it was just bullshit and we would be back to drinking. I am sticking to it and my body is looking better and they are slowly not calling me and dont invite me out anymore because I guess i am turning boring. What do i do i dont want to loose my friends.. We ve been friends for a while but I think its more they dont know how to get into it like i am... what you guys think?
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    Apr 28, 2010 3:50 PM GMT
    Well, if they value you and care about you as much as they apparently were doing... and they aren't doing it now....

    Perhaps it's the change in yourself that turned them off? Or maybe they were friends with the guy that didn't do that stuff all the time? Or maybe they feel they don't have anything in common with you? Maybe they feel guilty for not having an active life style like you and don't know how to handle you? Maybe they just aren't into the same things you are, and they probably will never be? Maybe try to find a common ground and go from there and enjoy the time together? Perhaps they did not like the change you made at all? Were they good friends? Be honest with yourself now.

    If your good friends aren't calling you and you think it's because of a life style change just how supportive are they of you and your decisions? Are they jealous? Do you get jealous of them? Are you bothered by being around people who aren't committed to their body?

    So many questions. o.o
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    Apr 28, 2010 3:52 PM GMT
    Soulasphyx saidWell, if they value you and care about you as much as they apparently were doing... and they aren't doing it now....

    Perhaps it's the change in yourself that turned them off? Or maybe they were friends with the guy that didn't do that stuff all the time? Or maybe they feel they don't have anything in common with you? Maybe they feel guilty for not having an active life style like you and don't know how to handle you? Maybe they just aren't into the same things you are, and they probably will never be? Maybe try to find a common ground and go from there and enjoy the time together? Perhaps they did not like the change you made at all? Were they good friends? Be honest with yourself now.

    If your good friends aren't calling you and you think it's because of a life style change just how supportive are they of you and your decisions? Are they jealous? Do you get jealous of them? Are you bothered by being around people who aren't committed to their body?

    So many questions. o.o



    Good questions.. I ll start answering some of them.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 28, 2010 4:11 PM GMT
    Easy way out: Find like-minded friends who can be active with you.

    Not-so-easy way out: Go "drinking" with them, but only drink water...or an occasional alcoholic drink if you can stop at just one or two. That's what I normally do.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 28, 2010 4:14 PM GMT
    Your best friend is your pocketbook (wallet). That's what my gran always used to say.
    Sometimes I think people overuse the word "friend" where I would use the word aquaintance. You only get 1 or 2 friends in your life and they don't abandon you when situations change because they're more like family, you have em for life.

    Anyways past all that blathering...

    I've been through the very same situation in my younger years as well. My interests started shifting away from partying and "fun" times and like you many of the guys I associated with didn't come along. Just happens is all and nothing negative about them or anything, people change, you change, and you'll certainly gain new friends along the way who share your interests. Keep moving forward
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    Apr 28, 2010 4:51 PM GMT
    Those are NOT friends dawgicon_exclaim.gif Sounds more like associates...move on and cut ur losses, u will find like-minded peeps in ur gymicon_lol.gif
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    Apr 28, 2010 4:59 PM GMT
    Well your true friends will support you in whatever you do. Furthermore, so what you have changed your lifestyle, but you are still the same person. Were they just hanging out with you cause you were a good time...you did crazy things while drinking? If that is the case, then they aren't your friends. Maybe you need a new set of friends then.

    My friends are like my family, whatever you choose to do I am okay with. Sometimes you do stupid shit, then I will let ya know. If you keep doing stupid shit, I will still let ya know. But in the end you will still have a friend in me...i hear a song coming.....

    [url][/url]

  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    Apr 28, 2010 5:03 PM GMT
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    Apr 28, 2010 5:28 PM GMT
    Nomo, honestly... If you have good friends they're probably not calling you because they don't want to "bother" your new life change. They're still your friends.

    My advice? Quit asking people you don't know on what to do with your friends, instead talk to your friends... The phone works both ways you know...

    Just my two cents..
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Apr 28, 2010 5:38 PM GMT
    Well let me say, first, congrats... you are in the process of making a "lifestyle change". We always talk about it and the importance of fitness and excercise being at the core of a healthy lifestyle.

    What we don't talk about as much is what happens or can happen socially or in other facets. Suddenly, you are moving away from some of the same patterns embraced by your friends (and by you previously). As you change and grow, you may not relate to some of those former friends and vice versa.
    I think communication is important and certainly would encourage you to go the extra mile to keep in touch with these guys, but be realistic... you may not have as much in common with them anymore. Time to develop new friends that you have more in common.

    It happens in life, regardless... Think about college or high school friends.. how much do you hang with them? Why? I think there is a comparison here.
  • myklet1

    Posts: 345

    Apr 28, 2010 5:58 PM GMT
    Friends allow friends to grow. Friends stick with friends through anything. Friends are supportive. So I say re-evaluate your friendships. When my friends feel good, I feel good for them.
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    Apr 28, 2010 6:29 PM GMT
    Sadly, sometimes we grow away from some people who are our friends at a period in our life. We might still keep in touch, but we might also find that we have less in common with those persons. At worst, some persons choose paths which lead to sloth and self-destruction. We can encourage them to grow, but only they can make the choice.

    We can do "push ups". We can't force others to do "push ups". We can't do "push ups" for others.

    Aloha and Be Well!
    Alan
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 28, 2010 8:14 PM GMT
    sometimes you lose touch with friends when your lives go in different directions, that doesn't necessarily mean you lose them as friends. Just means you don't see them as much anymore when you don't share much common ground.

    I sometimes feel I neglect old friends, cos socially I'm inclined to deal with people I share my everyday life with (work, sports et.c.), it's a shame, but sometimes people just drift apart like that.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 28, 2010 8:28 PM GMT
    are they friends with the beer and you conveniently came along, or friends with you? ;)