How Many Gay Men Would Consider Adoption?

  • TadPohl

    Posts: 259

    Apr 28, 2010 7:27 PM GMT
    I couldn't help but wonder about those MEGA-Families like the ones mothered by Nadya Suleman (Octomom of 14 kids) and Kate Gosselin. Why was it so essential to biologically have all these kids when the world's resources are known to be limited and that there are so many desperate orphans begging for parents? What was it that kept them from adopting?
    Is it still THAT important to spread our genes? Is that what makes a family?

    I have no idea if there was always this large a gay population in the world or if it suddenly increased in my time, but I developed a theory about our purpose in life.

    When I was coming to terms with being a gay man, trying to find a religious reason for existing in the face of holy damnation from Christians and Muslims, I though that perhaps I was destined to be gay because of overpopulation. Perhaps there is an awesome reason for my existence. Perhaps it's in my fate to adopt kids that don't have a home or parents because I was not meant to conceive. Perhaps I represent a balance needed in this world.

    Since coming out, I have thought seriously about eventually having a "family" and the ways of creating one.

    What do other gay men think.. especially guys in my generation.

    Speaking of adoptions....
    Props to new mom, Sandra Bullock and her newly adopted son.
    Props to all the non celebs who've opened up their families and the celebs who publicly teach.... that it's normal to adopt.

    http://www.people.com/people/package/article/0,,20364464_20364807,00.html?xid=rss-topheadlines

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    Apr 28, 2010 7:37 PM GMT
    Yes a dog or a cat would be a great adoption---

    I presently have 2 dogs and they are a fucking handful!icon_lol.gif
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    Apr 28, 2010 7:38 PM GMT
    When they let me adopt DancerJack or Mystic_Man, then I'm in! {evilgrin}
  • Midas426

    Posts: 965

    Apr 28, 2010 7:42 PM GMT
    I seriously would consider adoption but I know there's a lot of obstacles in relation to gays adopting. Also despite being gay a part of me also wants to have at least one biological child. As silly as this sounds, I was always curious if there was a program that paired a guy gay with a lesbian that wants to have a kid. I know that's too black and white of course...but it's some of the crazy thoughts that occasionally come to mind.
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    Apr 28, 2010 7:52 PM GMT
    I'm gay and I have 2 children, not adopted. Kids are awesome!
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    Apr 28, 2010 8:15 PM GMT
    When the Suleman and Gosselin kids are put up for adoption I might consider it.
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    Apr 28, 2010 8:17 PM GMT
    mickeytopogigio saidWhen the Suleman and Gosselin kids are put up for adoption I might consider it.


    Pfft...those kids are going to be sooooo fucked up!
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    Apr 28, 2010 8:18 PM GMT
    I started to adopt my nephew a few years ago (long story), but found out I'd have to be in a "straight" marriage to do so in Arkansas.

    Fortunately he grew up ok (he's 20 now).
  • Celticmusl

    Posts: 4330

    Apr 28, 2010 8:19 PM GMT
    Ok, I would adopt ten gay men, but that's my limit.
  • JayDT

    Posts: 390

    Apr 28, 2010 8:20 PM GMT
    I personally am not a huge fan of children. They're great when they're other peoples but I was made gay (just like many other people) so the the truly gifted wouldn't be burdened with brats. Plus they tend to ruin your life and your thighs!
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    Apr 28, 2010 8:25 PM GMT
    No kids for me, but firmly believe in the adoption process.
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    Apr 28, 2010 8:25 PM GMT
    JayDT saidI personally am not a huge fan of children. They're great when they're other peoples but I was made gay (just like many other people) so the the truly gifted wouldn't be burdened with brats. Plus they tend to ruin your life and your thighs!


    I completely agree!
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    Apr 28, 2010 8:27 PM GMT
    I've been working with kids for many years, and I think I can do as good a job at raising kids as straight people. maybe not as great a job as my parents did with me, but close icon_lol.gif

    If I settle down with a good man, I'd love to be able to adopt a kid or two

  • martinaston

    Posts: 310

    Apr 28, 2010 9:21 PM GMT
    Think about the kids you'd be adopting and less about what you yourself want. Does an adopted kid (ie probably with a few issues already) really need the added burden of 2 gay dads? Unconditional love is priceless but the world is a harsh place for the vulnerable. Not saying never, just consider the person not just the idea.
  • mondeezy

    Posts: 16

    Apr 28, 2010 9:27 PM GMT
    i would definitely consider it if i had a partner who was down for it. the things kids need most is structure. i'm not sure if i could provide that alone. but there are so many kids in need of adoption...
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    Apr 28, 2010 9:47 PM GMT
    i want kids...i would be open to the idea...
  • ursa_minor

    Posts: 566

    Apr 28, 2010 10:05 PM GMT
    had similar thinking until MSUBionerd commented in another thread

    http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/916033/

    blue_ahli said

    i believe that we are the evolutionary answer to overpopulation

    and where we are now is a sum of both the genetic predisposition and oneĀ“s environ (and perhaps the amount of male/female hormones)




    A distressingly common belief. Distressing because evolution doesn't work at all like that; there's not a plausible way for a selective pressure toward homosexuality in the face of increasing population sizes to work.

    Imagine, for a moment, that all humans had a gene that would sense how dense the population was, and if it was too dense, would increase the odds of them being gay so as to decrease the number of children being born.

    A new mutant arises who doesn't become more likely to be gay if there are too many people around.

    Everyone else tends to have fewer children when there are a lot of people around, because more and more of them are gay and with gay folks, children aren't an automatic byproduct of sex -- gay people have to actively work at having children, while many straight people instead put in a lot of effort to not have them. That mutant, however, keeps having children at the same rate, regardless of whether there are already too many people. So when the country fills up, each generation a higher and higher percentage of children being born will be the descendants of that mutant, who don't increase their odds of being gay when the population is dense.

    Eventually, essentially no one will even have the genetic material necessary to have orientation switch in response to population density.

    Evolution doesn't favor individuals sacrificing themselves, or their reproductive potential, unless that sacrifice leads to very large benefits to closely related individuals. From evolution's point of view, it's worth not having children yourself if you help your parents have more than 2 more children than they otherwise would...or help your own siblings have more than 4 children more than they otherwise would...or help your aunts/uncles have more than 8 children more than they otherwise would...etc. This is Hamilton's Rule, and the math of it was worked out in the 1960s.
  • TadPohl

    Posts: 259

    Apr 28, 2010 10:15 PM GMT
    martinaston saidThink about the kids you'd be adopting and less about what you yourself want. Does an adopted kid (ie probably with a few issues already) really need the added burden of 2 gay dads? Unconditional love is priceless but the world is a harsh place for the vulnerable. Not saying never, just consider the person not just the idea.


    During the protest against California's Prop 8 I met a group of kids with two gay parents.
    I was moved by their testimonies because I, like you had assumed that having 2 gay parents would be a burden, but was told the complete opposite. These were healthy, well- adjusted toddlers and teens.
    A few admitted to enduring moments of hardship when fellow students found out that they had 2 dads or moms, but that they would not trade their parents or the experience.
    I was told repeatedly that living in a gay household is not living without. A mother figure is found in a relative or friend of the gay man, a father figure is found in a relative or friend of a lesbian mom. They told me that they never felt like they're missing out on any experience, love or support.
    It was an excellent perspective changing opportunity to meet these kids.
    I hope that their testimonies will spread so that other people will understand their lives, the potential from gay adopting couples/ single parents.

    I can't help but ask the nay-sayers, "What would be a better environment for parent-less kids? Bouncing from foster care to foster care homes or having a stable lifestyle/ environment with an unorthodox family?"
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    Apr 28, 2010 10:17 PM GMT
    martinaston saidThink about the kids you'd be adopting and less about what you yourself want. Does an adopted kid (ie probably with a few issues already) really need the added burden of 2 gay dads? Unconditional love is priceless but the world is a harsh place for the vulnerable. Not saying never, just consider the person not just the idea.


    Two loving gay dads (or moms) are better than drug-addicted, abusive, alcoholic, unemployed, straight people, or being bounced around in foster care, or an impersonal orphanage, IMO.
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    Apr 28, 2010 10:23 PM GMT
    I've always wanted to be a dad ever since I could remember, I'll adopt one day, whether I have a spouse or not, yes having a gay father or two gay fathers has its societal disadvantages but not nearly as many disadvantages a child growing up alone in an orphanage.
  • BlackBeltGuy

    Posts: 2609

    Apr 28, 2010 10:28 PM GMT
    two gay guys shouldnt adopt. just sayin
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 28, 2010 10:29 PM GMT
    How Many Gay Men Would Consider Adoption?

    We've considered adopting a gay man, but we've been having trouble with the placement agency. They say our home is too wholesome, and needs to be more depraved & dissolute. We're working on it, but until we learn how to shed all our morals and ethical values, we can't get on the waiting list. icon_sad.gif
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    Apr 28, 2010 10:31 PM GMT
    If I could pay for a live-in nanny or nannies, I'd adopt a brazillion kids.
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    Apr 28, 2010 10:39 PM GMT
    We've talked about it but in Florida it would have to be a single parent adoption because, as the law stands right now, gay couples can't adopt. Some Judges have found allowed despite what Florida law says though.

    Our parents would be over the moon if we ever did adopt! icon_lol.gif
  • TadPohl

    Posts: 259

    Apr 28, 2010 10:39 PM GMT
    KARATE1974 saidtwo gay guys shouldnt adopt. just sayin


    it's alright to have an opinion, but enlighten me with the back story. Why would you deny two men who are ready to have a family to start one? It would be cool to hear your point of view.