gay hate, abuse

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    Apr 29, 2010 6:51 AM GMT
    has anyone ever expereinced any gay hate or abuse whether verbal, pyhysical or mental? please share

    (im sure there are lots )
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    Apr 29, 2010 5:05 PM GMT
    shan37 saidhas anyone ever expereinced any gay hate or abuse whether verbal, pyhysical or mental? please share

    (im sure there are lots )


    Recently I was walking into my bank, and some thug-type guys were coming out of it. I could tell they were giving me the "I hate you" look and so I didn't bother making eye contact and acknowledging them. To make a long story short, I finished up my business inside and came walking out. By this time they were all back in their car, and someone from it yelled out "faggot!" Since I don't, and never have, responded to that word, I just kept walking to my car and drove away.

    That was one of the only times anyone has been verbally confrontational with me since...middle school. I've never been physically assaulted or threatened in that way. I don't have any other real horror stories. I'm very laid-back and non-aggressive, so most everyone is nice to me.
  • Delivis

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    Apr 29, 2010 5:09 PM GMT
    Dont think i ever have actually.
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    Apr 29, 2010 5:09 PM GMT
    The most memorable time was in my early 20's when a group of fag-bashers attacked me, my b/f, and our property. They jumped us and beat us up pretty good; but ran like sissies when I finally got a chance to sneak away, get the shotgun, and fire off a few shots in their general direction, blasting a hole in the side of their pickup.

    Funny thing is, the cops told me I shoulda killed one and dragged him in the house. icon_lol.gif
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    Apr 30, 2010 3:45 AM GMT
    Delivis saidDont think i ever have actually.


    its so common out there
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    Apr 30, 2010 3:49 AM GMT
    Continuously for about 12 consecutive years. Varied from daily verbal abuse to occasionally physical abuse. Sometimes they got creative and devised silent psychological abuse (I don't think they were keen on just how damaging that one was). Oh well. it's life.
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    Apr 30, 2010 3:57 AM GMT
    Everyone says the midwest is so anti-gay... and though I probably have it easier than some since I'm not completely "out" (I've told people, and won't lie if someone asks) and appear to be straight to the untrained eye ;)... I haven't really seen any verbal or physical abuse towards any gays.

    Everyone I am out to thinks it's great that I know what I want and I'm not afraid to go after it. Even today I saw a professor at my University walking to class holding his boyfriends hand and giving him a kiss goodbye before walking into a building... nobody even gave them a weird look... it was actually amazing to see this since, until now, I hadn't realized just how accepting Milwaukee is of the gay folks!

    Hopefully this is a sign that threads like this will soon be pointless and nobody will have any stories of hate or abuse icon_biggrin.gif
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    Apr 30, 2010 4:00 AM GMT
    JoeB1986 said

    Hopefully this is a sign that threads like this will soon be pointless and nobody will have any stories of hate or abuse icon_biggrin.gif


    In the US, anyway. I grew up outside the US. Whole 'nother bowl of grapes.
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    Apr 30, 2010 4:11 AM GMT
    paulflexes saidThe most memorable time was in my early 20's when a group of fag-bashers attacked me, my b/f, and our property. They jumped us and beat us up pretty good; but ran like sissies when I finally got a chance to sneak away, get the shotgun, and fire off a few shots in their general direction, blasting a hole in the side of their pickup.

    Funny thing is, the cops told me I shoulda killed one and dragged him in the house. icon_lol.gif


    That's fucking terrible, and hilarious.

    I've never experienced gay hate before, worst thing maybe a slur at a restaurant once out with a boy
  • Iluros

    Posts: 559

    Apr 30, 2010 4:22 AM GMT
    Grew up with it. I experienced harassment and abuse from my peers pretty much continuously throughout my childhood and adolescence.

    As an adult, not nearly as much. There was one occasion where a guy driving past me in a truck while I was walking on the road yelled "faggot" and threw a beer bottle at me. Actually a lot of people in cars seem to yell slurs at me when I'm walking on the road, it's quite odd. Pedestrians as well. Invariably, any time a group of guys walk past me one of them will do a mock lunge at me to see if I will flinch. All this in Portland, one of the most "liberal" cities in the country. icon_rolleyes.gif

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    Apr 30, 2010 4:23 AM GMT
    Oh, everyone got it where I grew up. If you weren't a straight white male, you might as well have had a target painted on your forehead.

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    Apr 30, 2010 4:26 AM GMT
    Out of curiosity. How do people know you are gay and yell fagot when they just see you out in public alone? Do you yell it out to the world or what? I don't understand.
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    Apr 30, 2010 4:28 AM GMT
    Iluros saidThere was one occasion where a guy driving past me in a truck while I was walking on the road yelled "faggot" and threw a beer bottle at me.
    I wish I could count the beer bottles and open doors I encountered during bicycle rides. For some reason, closet gay homophobic rednecks like to see muscular guys in tight clothes on bicycles, and do everything they can to stop them. Sometimes they were cute, and I'd actually consider waving them back to see if I could bring them out of the closet. icon_lol.gif
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    Apr 30, 2010 4:35 AM GMT
    chris8787 saidOut of curiosity. How do people know you are gay and yell fagot when they just see you out in public alone? Do you yell it out to the world or what? I don't understand.


    All it takes is not to be the one screaming faggot alongside everyone else. If you aren't enthusiastically participating in their behavior, you're automatically suspect whether you're butch, femme or anything in between. I got harassed and called faggot on an almost daily basis, but a very masculine straight guy I went to junior high and high school with got it 10 times worse than I did. His crime was that he was raised not to associate with people who used profanities or engaged in vulgar conversation. You don't even need to be gay to be gay-bashed, you just have to be different from the rest of the herd.
  • Iluros

    Posts: 559

    Apr 30, 2010 4:37 AM GMT
    chris8787 saidOut of curiosity. How do people know you are gay and yell fagot when they just see you out in public alone? Do you yell it out to the world or what? I don't understand.


    I'm sure it happens to some straight guys too. If you're an asshole, there's no telling what you might do to a complete stranger for no reason.

    In my case I think it's just that I'm thin, thus look weak.
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    Apr 30, 2010 4:39 AM GMT
    The hard thing for me wasn't really the abuse itself. It's that I grew up getting labeled as gay as a derogatory term before I even knew I was gay (or rather before I even understood what the hell it meant). I grew up having to defend "that I wasn't gay", because it was used as an attack on me. The exceptionally difficult part is realizing that yeah, my aggressors were right, I WAS gay, but disassociating the shame and pain from it and building self-acceptance.
  • Iluros

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    Apr 30, 2010 4:42 AM GMT
    Ciarsolo saidThe hard thing for me wasn't really the abuse itself. It's that I grew up getting labeled as gay as a derogatory term before I even knew I was gay (or rather before I even understood what the hell it meant). I grew up having to defend "that I wasn't gay", because it was used as an attack on me. The exceptionally difficult part is realizing that yeah, my aggressors were right, I WAS gay, but disassociating the shame and pain from it and building self-acceptance.


    Yeah, I had the exact same experience.

    It was weird in that I had a concept of what homosexuality was, and yet couldn't connect that with my own feelings.
  • mcwclewis

    Posts: 1701

    Apr 30, 2010 4:45 AM GMT
    I've been jumped and beat up a few times, but that was like 6-7 years ago. Since coming to college, the worst I've dealt with is guys yelling shit out of windows, off of roofs, etc.

    I did have one kid threaten to "kick my ass" at a sorority party because he thought I was hitting on his friend, who I was actually just talking about classes with. Kid damn near shit his pants when he realized that I had about 25 fraternity brothers in the building who would have killed him... assuming, of course, I didn't break his face first. icon_razz.gif
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    Apr 30, 2010 4:45 AM GMT
    Interestingly enough, the only time I've ever had someone yell "faggot" it was in Portland too, from a passing car.

    When my partner and I came out in the newspaper (front page, it was a big deal for a relatively small city, since I'm in law enforcement) in opposition to the constitutional amendment, we ended up getting a bit of hate mail.

    That's been about it.
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    Apr 30, 2010 4:47 AM GMT
    Iluros said
    It was weird in that I had a concept of what homosexuality was, and yet couldn't connect that with my own feelings.


    I had an exceptionally poignant moment (and simultaneously one of the most distressing) when I was 9 years old in 3rd grade. This 4th grader who picked on me (a 4th grader...keep in mind this kid was like 10 years old), crouched down to my height (because he was quite a bit taller), and said to me "See the thing you need to understand, is that you are a homosexual". He said it with an extremely calm tone, very relaxed. It's just funny to think back on a thing like that. Had he not had malice behind it one could even consider it a precocious epiphany.
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    Apr 30, 2010 4:49 AM GMT
    Ciarsolo saidThe hard thing for me wasn't really the abuse itself. It's that I grew up getting labeled as gay as a derogatory term before I even knew I was gay (or rather before I even understood what the hell it meant). ...


    I was being called "cocksucker" long before I knew I was gay.

    If I had only listened and acted on what they were calling me, I'd have ended up being VERY popular with the football team. icon_twisted.gif
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    Apr 30, 2010 4:58 AM GMT
    GAMRican said
    Ciarsolo saidThe hard thing for me wasn't really the abuse itself. It's that I grew up getting labeled as gay as a derogatory term before I even knew I was gay (or rather before I even understood what the hell it meant). ...


    I was being called "cocksucker" long before I knew I was gay.

    If I had only listened and acted on what they were calling me, I'd have ended up being VERY popular with the football team. icon_twisted.gif


    ...I'm sorry I'm a little twitterpatted at you properly splicing my quote...<3
  • Iluros

    Posts: 559

    Apr 30, 2010 4:58 AM GMT
    zarin
    Interestingly enough, the only time I've ever had someone yell "faggot" it was in Portland too, from a passing car.


    A city epidemic? icon_neutral.gif

    Ciarsolo said
    I had an exceptionally poignant moment (and simultaneously one of the most distressing) when I was 9 years old in 3rd grade. This 4th grader who picked on me (a 4th grader...keep in mind this kid was like 10 years old), crouched down to my height (because he was quite a bit taller), and said to me "See the thing you need to understand, is that you are a homosexual". He said it with an extremely calm tone, very relaxed. It's just funny to think back on a thing like that. Had he not had malice behind it one could even consider it a precocious epiphany.


    Yeah, those were always the more peculiar kids, the ones who weren't trying to be mean about it. I argued with a sixth grader when around the same age about the issue, I think he was more amused than anything. Must have had an exceptionally liberal household.

    It took watching superman cartoons and crushing on a boy who started to wear glasses (!), a few years later, for it all to start making sense. Glasses and a pair of shoulders still do me in to this day... icon_redface.gif
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    Apr 30, 2010 5:05 AM GMT
    Never had anything happen to me... I'd kick their ass if it did.
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    Apr 30, 2010 5:06 AM GMT
    Ciarsolo saidThe hard thing for me wasn't really the abuse itself. It's that I grew up getting labeled as gay as a derogatory term before I even knew I was gay (or rather before I even understood what the hell it meant). I grew up having to defend "that I wasn't gay", because it was used as an attack on me. The exceptionally difficult part is realizing that yeah, my aggressors were right, I WAS gay, but disassociating the shame and pain from it and building self-acceptance.


    this.