What's the maximum age difference between you and someone you would date?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 28, 2008 8:15 PM GMT
    What's the largest age difference in a guy you would consider dating if you were 20? 30? 40? (It can be in either direction, older or younger.)

    My two long term relationships have been with guys 10 years or older than me (not a "daddy" figure, but a "big brother"). I wouldn't date someone under 30, because I don't think most guys in their 20's are grounded enough yet in their career and lives to be serious in a relationship.

    So what's your max? Would you date someone 10 years older or younger? 15 years?
  • maximumrisk

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    Jan 28, 2008 8:30 PM GMT
    Well, you are 16 Years older then me. So you are right about the money part. Most guys in my age dont have that much money. But it is more importatn how they can handle their finances. If they can pay for the food and a part of the rent there is no big problem. Thats at least how I am doin it with a friend I am living with, so why shouldnt it work between 2 more age differenced guys?
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    Jan 28, 2008 9:45 PM GMT
    maximumrisk saidWell, you are 16 Years older then me. So you are right about the money part. Most guys in my age dont have that much money. But it is more importatn how they can handle their finances. If they can pay for the food and a part of the rent there is no big problem. Thats at least how I am doin it with a friend I am living with, so why shouldnt it work between 2 more age differenced guys?


    By "career" I didn't necessarily mean money. Someone can have a career in a field that doesn't pay much, such as non-profit groups or people in the arts. I meant more about career ambition. My ex ("J") didn't have any ambition or desire to do anything more than what he was doing. Maybe its just me, but I'd like my partner to have ambition in whatever he does, irrespective of how much he makes.
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    Jan 28, 2008 9:49 PM GMT
    I dated a guy 12 years younger for a year. Needless to say we are no longer together.
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    Jan 28, 2008 9:50 PM GMT
    I dated someone that was in his early 50's when I was in my mid 20's...that's 25 years difference. My last BF was 43-45 while I was 28-30 I don't think I'd date many people younger than 25 because I'm a big fan of stability and most people in their early 20's don't seem that stable to me.

    The upper age range is mostly dependent on how attracted I am to them and how well we get along. If you're hot and you're 60 and I click with you...I'd go for it. Age itself means little.
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    Jan 28, 2008 10:01 PM GMT
    NYMan saidI dated someone that was in his early 50's when I was in my mid 20's...that's 25 years difference. My last BF was 43-45 while I was 28-30 I don't think I'd date many people younger than 25 because I'm a big fan of stability and most people in their early 20's don't seem that stable to me.

    The upper age range is mostly dependent on how attracted I am to them and how well we get along. If you're hot and you're 60 and I click with you...I'd go for it. Age itself means little.


    NY, if you were still with the guy in 50's, would age still be irrelevant to you when he was in his 60's while you were in your 30's? Just a question...
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    Jan 28, 2008 10:03 PM GMT
    My general rule is don't be younger than my younger brother who's 29 and don't be older than my parents, they're in their early-mid 50's.
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    Jan 28, 2008 10:07 PM GMT
    I suppose it depends on what he is like in his 60's. If he's completely sedentary and suddenly developed an obsession with fly fishing we wouldn't get along.

    If we continue to share enough similar interests: movies, theater, working out, traveling, exploring (as examples)...I don't think it would be a problem. He doesn't have to be into the more adventurous stuff I am like the skydiving or white water rafting, etc. I don't believe my partner and I have to be completely entwined.
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    Jan 28, 2008 10:11 PM GMT
    My partner is 6 years older than me. We grew up with some differences and references, but not enough to make a big difference.

    I have some friends about 8 years younger than me that often say things like, "that was before I was born" and don't have the same frame of reference as me. I think that would get annoying after time.

    Course always depends on the guy. I hope that 6 years will be the the farthest i get from a lover. We shall see what the next 9 years bring.

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    Jan 28, 2008 10:17 PM GMT
    10-11 years younger, 1-2 years older. That means around 27-40.

    I was always about 5 years behind in every possible way throughout most of life anyway.

    Not the noblest of ranges, but since when was sex and attraction rational or noble?
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    Jan 28, 2008 10:20 PM GMT
    a1972guy saidMy general rule is don't be younger than my younger brother who's 29 and don't be older than my parents, they're in their early-mid 50's.


    I like that rule of thumb!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 28, 2008 10:20 PM GMT
    I figure a 5 to 10 years on either side of my age. The criterion is compatibility. I think as the age disparity increases, the compatibility declines. If not at the current age, it may when the two get older due to retirement and health.
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    Jan 28, 2008 10:21 PM GMT
    My age limit is 25-50 if they take care of themselves.
    Right now I'm dating someone who is 48. The only problem we have is we are too much alike!
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    Jan 28, 2008 10:22 PM GMT
    Gigaram said[quote][cite]a1972guy said[/cite]My general rule is don't be younger than my younger brother who's 29 and don't be older than my parents, they're in their early-mid 50's.


    I like that rule of thumb![/quote]

    Thanks Gigaram!
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    Jan 28, 2008 10:25 PM GMT
    my rule of thumb is half my age plus 7 years ... so for now, that means 28 is the youngest I would even consider. generally speaking, plus or minus 5 years tends to work best.
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    Jan 28, 2008 10:27 PM GMT
    allgoodinhwood saidmy rule of thumb is half my age plus 7 years ... so for now, that means 28 is the youngest I would even consider. generally speaking, plus or minus 5 years tends to work best.



    TOO much Arithmetic!! LOL!!
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    Jan 28, 2008 10:53 PM GMT
    5 years is a good rule of thumb, but honestly, with the gross shortage of stable/relationship-oriented men out there, any age is worth considering. I get kinda creeped out by guys who will date someone 15 years younger but only 1-2 years older. Tends to say "hey, I'm going to be REALLY not OK with myself in 1-2 years" if they're not already f*ed up.
  • zakariahzol

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    Jan 28, 2008 11:06 PM GMT
    One of my most unforgetable bf is an older American that I meet during college , I was 19 , we was 35. Sex with him is so good that I have never feel the same way with anyone else until today. My last bf was 22 when I meet him , and I am about 37.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 28, 2008 11:17 PM GMT
    I'd say my age range is 25-42 with a couple of years of leeway. I'm 29. It depends on the individual though.
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    Jan 28, 2008 11:19 PM GMT
    The oldest I dated was in thier mid 50's. He acted like he was 14.. it didnt work out.
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    Jan 29, 2008 12:01 AM GMT
    God - I don't know - I've had them older but mostly younger - 9-11 years younger more than a few times. It really doesn't matter to me. All kinds of other factors / intelligence / maturity / compatibility mean a hell of a lot more to me than age alone.

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    Jan 29, 2008 12:07 AM GMT
    If younger than me, I'd prefer no younger than 6 or 7 years. If older about 10, max.

    But then it occurred to me that the age factor is not a very good indicator of another person's stage of life. I think that is what's more important than age. There isn't any written in stone outline of what age you should be when you are in a certain stage in your life. You don't have to be in your early 20s to be in college getting your degree. You don't have to be in your mid-40s to have an established career and/or business. You don't have to 60s to be retired and completely satisfied with everything.

    Ideally, I would prefer another person who is in the same stage of life as me, or at least just catching up, or just passing, so that we would have more in common.
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    Jan 29, 2008 5:18 AM GMT
    General rule for me is absolutely no one under 25 for me. I'd sleep with ya but will not put out an effort to foster anything other than a friendship after that. Sounds tacky but I'm up front with that right from the beginning. You have to really impress me to make me give up that rule. I'm turning 28 this year and honestly prefer dating someone in their 30's or early to mid 40's. Not at all for a daddy complex. I just find most men more grounded in their 30's on up. Not to mention I've learned most 30 and 40 somethings are just damn better in bed.
  • liftordie

    Posts: 823

    Jan 29, 2008 5:28 AM GMT
    right now my boyfriend is 25 and i am 39. so far the age is not an issue as much as the time zone differences!!
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    Jan 29, 2008 5:37 AM GMT
    When I was dating I don't know that I really had a 'rule'. I once, briefly, dated a guy 18 years older than I was; and I once dated someone 14 years younger.

    I suppose that honestly, with a very few exceptions, I really couldn't see myself with anyone more than 20 years different if I was looking for a serious long term committed relationship. Though as I aged I admit it made less and less difference to me.