Please Translate this experience!!!!

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 30, 2010 10:13 AM GMT
    Today at the gym while working out, I randomly looked in a direction and noticed a good looking guy. Because I am really shy, I never stare at people, out of fear of being caught (partially because I am good at catching people staring at me).

    Usually when I work out I notice that sometimes there will be a guy looking at me when he doesn't think I notice. When this happens I turn to look back at the person and the person usually quickly looks away pretending as if they had never looked to begin with.

    But this time was different, when I got that feeling of being watched, I turned my head and instead of turning his head away, he continued staring. We stared at each other for a good ten seconds (it felt like 10 minutes). His face was expressionless as was mine. I felt simultaneously excited, scared, nervous, and confused. Why is he staring at me so boldly? Is he gay? Is he strait and annoyed that I was staring at him in the beginning? What does he want>

    I am not sure what to make of this event. Was this a gay moment or was this something else. I am new to this whole thing, so if any one has experience please share, so I know what to make of it, if it happens in the future.

    thanks!
  • natsimjac1988

    Posts: 109

    Apr 30, 2010 12:47 PM GMT
    in these situations, a long stare can mean a thousand different things, and u can never really know if he is straight or gay and into u unless he makes some casual convo with u or u with him. playing the whole "is he gay or straight" game can get u into a lot of trouble and is pretty exhausting. just make some casual conversation with him next time and see if he bites. icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 30, 2010 12:59 PM GMT
    What PAJohn said was my first thought! Either that or he's staring into space. Other than that I would be no better at interpreting it than you I'm afraid!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 30, 2010 1:02 PM GMT
    More than a 10 second mutual stare = ATTRACTION!!!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 30, 2010 1:03 PM GMT
    natsimjac1988 saidin these situations, a long stare can mean a thousand different things, and u can never really know if he is straight or gay and into u unless he makes some casual convo with u or u with him. playing the whole "is he gay or straight" game can get u into a lot of trouble and is pretty exhausting. just make some casual conversation with him next time and see if he bites. icon_smile.gif

    Agreed, and with the bad vision comment above. If I take my glasses off or remove my contacts I'm quite blind, yet sometimes I do this in the gym because of sweating and the tendency of the glasses to keep slipping down (I don't wanna wear those nerdy elastic retainers)

    Other reasons: you looked familiar to him, and he was trying to remember where he's seen you, but too shy to just approach you, or not wanting to interrupt your routine. Perhaps he was studying your technique, on a piece of equipment. I often watch guys myself for that very reason. Did he take your equipment after you were done? He might have been trying to judge when you'd be finished.

    Although if he made and held direct eye contact with you for a while, that could mean something quite different.
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    Apr 30, 2010 1:33 PM GMT
    Red_Vespa said(I don't wanna wear those nerdy elastic retainers)


    you got something against nerds? (see, i would have called them "gay" elastic retainers...but that's just me)

    LOL

    to the OP, there is no way to know what is going on in someone's head by just looking and imagining. as air tight as that seems, and as amazing as your powers to divine the thoughts and attitudes of others are, the only way is to find out from the man himself.

    i know you're "shy" and all, but if you are attracted (which it sounds like you are), rather than have a relationship with this guy in your head, why not ask him why he does his flyes that way, or if he thinks it's important to work out on an empty stomach, or if he has seen the latest lady gaga video.

    otherwise, accept that your shyness will always be an excuse to live a life made up in your mind.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 30, 2010 1:35 PM GMT
    OOOOO sounds like a Craigslist Missed Connections moment!!!!


    Just kidding, man. I'd play it cool, tuck that moment away for now and see if it happens again (assuming you see him again).

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    Apr 30, 2010 1:46 PM GMT
    a1972guy saidMore than a 10 second mutual stare = ATTRACTION!!!


    oooor for some straight people it means ... "you eyeballing me huh? don't mess with me or I'll beat u up!"
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 30, 2010 1:50 PM GMT
    Energize saidWhat does he want>
    Sex...with you.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 30, 2010 2:23 PM GMT
    I tend to start staring at guys who have absolutely atrocious form or at that really well built guy who's doing something I either haven't seen or am unsure of how to do and looks like he's getting it right
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 30, 2010 2:25 PM GMT
    Maybe he's posting the same question about you on another forum.
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    Apr 30, 2010 2:33 PM GMT
    coffeeaddict saidMaybe you'll know what he wants if you smile next time.. icon_biggrin.gif
    I fucking love your screenname! icon_biggrin.gif
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Apr 30, 2010 2:45 PM GMT
    Next time, smile. If he smiles back, chances are good.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 30, 2010 2:48 PM GMT
    Only one thing to do (and no, this wouldn't be easier for me, either):

    Next time you say him, stop walking (that part is crucial) and say "hello."

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    Apr 30, 2010 2:51 PM GMT
    PAJohn saidIf he's like me it may just mean he forgot to put his contacts in and he has no idea what the hell he's looking at.


    I do that all the time!
  • jimjock

    Posts: 278

    Apr 30, 2010 4:18 PM GMT
    Well you can consider a couple of things...

    Men are men and no matter str8, gay, Bi ( icon_biggrin.gif ) we are creatures and we are always looking to see, whether it is in the gym or some other place (the locker room), how we compare to another guy. How is he lifting? What is he lifting? What is his form? What can I learn? Does my ass look like that when I do that? Where did he get that fabulous definition in his calves? Basically almost anything about, "how am I doing compared to him?" It happens in the wild with lions in a pride, or monkeys in a troop. We just want to satisfy that curiosity.

    That being said, There are usually those unspoken little "relationships" that we have in the gym. Someone you never talk to but you know you look for and feel closure when they are there. Maybe a dude-ly nod up next time might be worth a shot, or maybe even a warm smile. He may not have even known you were looking at him. He could have been staring right by you at the hot mess in the mirror behind him. I know I will use them all the time to watch someone.

    All I know is that apathy is not going to cause any harm at this point.. let it simmer and if he is wanting to talk to you he will make himself available... they usually do.


    Have a great workout!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 30, 2010 4:22 PM GMT
    Well he's not "strait"...that's a body of water.
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    Apr 30, 2010 4:34 PM GMT
    Usually some sort of acknowledgement is made by one party, whether it be a nod or a smile or something...so that's kinda strange to me. If u smile at him and he continues his expressionless glare then he's either really really strange of just spacing out...if he smiles back then say hi and take it from there...of course is tend to just leave it at "hi" (why?? idk...i just do) and go on with things...maybe thats why i never have any hot gym sex stories to tell....hmmmm....
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 30, 2010 6:18 PM GMT
    PAJohn saidIf he's like me it may just mean he forgot to put his contacts in and he has no idea what the hell he's looking at.


    You know that is a good idea may make my next date better icon_eek.gif

    TO OP if all else fails put a little MOM's "tude" on and say to him "Hey you looking at me Handsome"

    Qualifiers to that is: He is handsome to you, you live in the SF Bay area and the str8 guys don't go weird on you. You are big enough so you don't care if they go weird.

    If non of that is to your liking the next time at the water fountain he is there say hi.

    Oh forgot to say you may want to ask rapperT he channels Miss Cleo she'll know the story. I personally use Dionne Warwick she knows it all!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 30, 2010 6:27 PM GMT
    Wishful thinking? icon_eek.gif
  • JayDT

    Posts: 390

    Apr 30, 2010 6:40 PM GMT
    I stare all the time at the gym and not at people just off into space. Sometimes that off into space happens to be at someone but it never means anything. not at my gym. In my opinion a long stare like that means nothing. It's the stare with a smile and a look away followed by a look back that is flirtatious.
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    Apr 30, 2010 6:54 PM GMT
    All guys, gay and straight, look at who else is working out. But the straight look is different from the gay look. It's about rivalry, competition, and wondering whether the other guy is doing some new routine that might give him an edge. Usually it's easy to tell the gay look from the straight look.
    But not always. And in that situation it's a waste of time to ponder and psychoanalyze the situation when just a little conversation will tell you whether there's a vibe.
  • MuscleComeBac...

    Posts: 2376

    Apr 30, 2010 6:55 PM GMT
    To quote Sinatra "nice and easy does it every time."

    The gym is NOT the place most men, gay or straight, WANT to be caught flirting in the way you're describing...it's uncomfortable. So, no matter what his gender preference, staring him down again could be like teasing a bull, and those aren't the horns you want to be hooked on if he decides to charge next time. So, tuck it away, take note, and bide your time. Etiquette first.

    That said, IF, and don't plan this too much, just be prepared so that IF he is OUTSIDE the locker room (NEVER do this in the locker room, ever) you see him exiting, or you happen to walk out together to the parking lot, strike up a conversation. Something casual, nothing too flirtatious, just simple. I would say you could compliment him...but frankly the straight guys in my gym are complimentary to me and I to them (e.g. Your size is coming along. Work is showing. Shape coming in, man, looking good! etc.) so that's not always a good barometer. I've asked guys for directions "Do you remember which direction the Whole Foods is, is it that way or that way?" Or if you see him downing his post-workout shake, you can ask "Hey, mind if I ask what your post workout shake is? I've been thinking of changing mine." Anyway, don't script it, just be willing to say SOMETHING, and see what happens.

    You should be able to pick up pretty quickly what his level of possible mutual interest would be. And even if he is straight, having a straight gym bud is a good thing, too. I've gotten to know several of the guys who are in at the usual times that I'm there, and it's a nice little tribe.

    Good luck.
  • mcwclewis

    Posts: 1701

    Apr 30, 2010 7:06 PM GMT
    PAJohn saidIf he's like me it may just mean he forgot to put his contacts in and he has no idea what the hell he's looking at.



    I've totally done that.


    However, its not likely.


    Either he thinks he knows you, or he thinks you're hot.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 30, 2010 8:54 PM GMT
    Promise us you'll tell the hook-up story after it happens.