Dealing with Racism and Prejudice..

  • kennyj08

    Posts: 171

    May 01, 2010 7:35 PM GMT
    So I'm half Black and half Filipino and last night i experienced my first hate confrontation. The guy is a white american hickish kind of guy and he called me a "Nigger Faggot". For me, that hurt. because you're coming at me from two different directions. One, I'm half black and I've been raised around African Americans my whole life. So i know the history, I've heard the pain from those who've went through the hate. Next, he's hating on my sexual orientation. I'm not one to blow up and start attacking a person for what they said but there were a lot of words that I would've LOVED to say back to him..but i didnt {one: because i'm an Residential Assistant at my school (gotta keep that scholarship) and two: i know that it wouldnt have accomplished anything} It's just really frustrating to hear such things, but I know it happens everyday.

    being in my shoes, how would you have handled it?
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    May 01, 2010 7:39 PM GMT
    kennyj08 said
    being in my shoes, how would you have handled it?
    I would have walked away, just like you did. You showed much more intelligence by doing nothing, because responding to hate with more hate is counterproductive.
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    May 01, 2010 9:04 PM GMT
    Congrats on handling this so calmly. You did exactly the right thing. Cretins like that are not worth your time.

    I don't think I could have stayed so cool. I probably would have tried to come back with a snappy reply and the best one coming into my mind only hours later...
  • martinaston

    Posts: 310

    May 02, 2010 1:40 PM GMT
    Verbal attacks are designed to provoke a response so u did well not to give him that and stay calm. But 4 me those words would've hit my bruce banner button I couldnt walk away without explaining to him (calmly) that his words are useless and kinda pathetic and that you feel sorry for him. Guys like that need defusing, he needs to walk away feeling weak and ineffectual not that he got away with saying it. Good luck.
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    May 02, 2010 2:11 PM GMT

    Someone always has to choose to take the high road which is what you did. Nothing defines a person more than his/her resilience in the daily obstacles we face and how we choose to engage w/ others. I would love to tell you that this was your first, last and only encounter of such vile behavior. Knowing this is not likely my best advice would be to remain true to self and remember to keep sight of your path and try not to let those who seek to leave you w/out focus of your path where they belong..... On the curb.
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    May 02, 2010 2:31 PM GMT
    It's not worth responding to and it's what they want you to do. It's bullshit intimidation and your reaction could well be putting you in danger especially when you're taken by surprise and react on anger.

    If you can't do anything, let them think that they're the big man on campus for two seconds 'cos they don't even know who you are so show that what they do won't get to you, it's the best method of deterring any further attacks.

    The worst I've ever had was three big drunk guys who shouted crap at me and bought food to throw at me. When the food missed, they kept goading me and one took a sip of his drink and spat at me. I said, "fuck off ya dickheads" and they kept walking and shouting.
    The most disappointing thing was across the road were a lot of people in a bar watching the incident and did nothing and a guy who was waiting for the bus with me just stared at me, looking sympathetically, but didn't even say anything while I'm picking ice out of my hair. I was more mad about that than the guys doing crap, you can't get along with everyone, but knowing that these people could do anything to help (call the cops?) and didn't really angered me.
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    May 02, 2010 2:44 PM GMT
    We were told, "Faggots, you're white niggers."

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    May 02, 2010 2:47 PM GMT
    i think you did the right thing by leaving them without a respond as you know better..it hurts yes and i know how you feel as racism is still alive and sadly i encounter it daily. Being that he only verbally attacked you...ignoring him is the best thing to do as when people see that you dont respond and see him behaving that way..they will see that hes making a fool ofhimself in more ways than one. However always make sure that you never let it affect you mentally and know its your right to not to take this social abuse. Some people would confront him but the best thing to do is ignore him unless he physically touches you...then you can let loose and defend yourself...the next time it happens.
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    May 02, 2010 6:17 PM GMT
    tereseus1 saidAlways make sure that you never let it affect you mentally and know its your right to not to take this social abuse.

    He's exactly right, Kenny and I stress the word "NEVER". You're a living, breathing soul that has every right to enjoy and experience THE LIFE that you are born into. So you did the right thing...by walking away. And keep walking this long wondrous road called LIFE and let others follow you, walk alongside you and leave those that matter so little to you behind.

    As for me, because I will never, ever know the daily prejudice and bigotry that you endure, I'm in awe of you because of what you have to put with and still wake up every morning to have another 'go' for another day. INSPIRING!
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    May 03, 2010 3:00 AM GMT
    I would have waited for him in the parking lot with Mr. Louisville Slugger...but that's meicon_evil.gif
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    May 03, 2010 3:05 AM GMT
    kennyj08 saidSo I'm half Black and half Filipino and last night i experienced my first hate confrontation. The guy is a white american hickish kind of guy and he called me a "Nigger Faggot". For me, that hurt. because you're coming at me from two different directions. One, I'm half black and I've been raised around African Americans my whole life. So i know the history, I've heard the pain from those who've went through the hate. Next, he's hating on my sexual orientation. I'm not one to blow up and start attacking a person for what they said but there were a lot of words that I would've LOVED to say back to him..but i didnt {one: because i'm an Residential Assistant at my school (gotta keep that scholarship) and two: i know that it wouldnt have accomplished anything} It's just really frustrating to hear such things, but I know it happens everyday.

    being in my shoes, how would you have handled it?


    On the real I would had broke his face stoped him then told him "You monkeys start wars kill and justify it. You tear up whole cultures and countries all because you want everyone to think you superior. When in fact you are the most coward and weak.
  • kennyj08

    Posts: 171

    May 03, 2010 3:57 AM GMT
    Thank you guys for those encouraging words!! I really do appreciate it! i dont hold grudges,but that incident kept me mad for a couple days and I finally told myself to LET IT GO..but i did tell myself, and God knows, that if they were to say anything again i would stand up for myself because NO one deserves such disrespect. They'll learn their lesson, cause KARMA IS A BITCH icon_biggrin.gif
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    May 03, 2010 4:44 AM GMT
    Prejudice has been around since people became different. Our best hope is to keep it at a minimum through education and ass kickins. icon_smile.gif
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    May 03, 2010 5:38 AM GMT
    Awesome! Another black, gay, Filipino!

    But anyway, I think you handled it really well. There's no use in entertaining such ignorance. But of course, I would really enjoy knocking the s*** out of the guy, but we must know when to fight our battles.