what does it mean to be a "nice guy"?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 03, 2010 9:02 AM GMT
    Some self-professed "nice guys" that I had dated in the past have ended up being some of the biggest assholes as well. I am not without my faults, mind you - but do you think describing oneself as "nice" is as egregious as describing oneself as "good-looking" or "straight-acting"?
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    May 03, 2010 9:07 AM GMT
    I assume people who say they're a "nice guy" on their profile are obviously trying and failing to be nice, or want to find nice guys to affiliate with in order to make them less of an asshole. Either way I don't think they are nice. Older men (like ooooold men) who say they are nice I think are genuinely nice. But younger men who say they are nice are just moderately unintelligent and are reading from a script of "top 100 things to say to people" without even realizing that they are just lab-rats waiting to be experimented on. The "getting to know people" English vocabulary has really been dumbed down lately. Or maybe it always has been austere and insipid.
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    May 03, 2010 9:14 AM GMT
    I'm a nice guy, until you irritate me or do something totally stupid or if i"m in a bad mood..

    So I'm rarely nice... however I do an awesome bitchy!
  • Nayro

    Posts: 1825

    May 03, 2010 9:33 AM GMT
    JakeBenson saidI assume people who say they're a "nice guy" on their profile are obviously trying and failing to be nice, or want to find nice guys to affiliate with in order to make them less of an asshole. Either way I don't think they are nice. Older men (like ooooold men) who say they are nice I think are genuinely nice. But younger men who say they are nice are just moderately unintelligent and are reading from a script of "top 100 things to say to people" without even realizing that they are just lab-rats waiting to be experimented on. The "getting to know people" English vocabulary has really been dumbed down lately. Or maybe it always has been austere and insipid.


    ok lol....

    Just cause im a niceguy i wont get mad icon_razz.gif
    I think I'm a niceguy, and im young. So I'm also unintelligent?
    Maybe I should just quite university then...

    Also, help me think of another nickname then!! icon_smile.gif
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    May 03, 2010 10:29 AM GMT
    Nice doesn't mean doormat
    I'm the epitome of nice Until you do something that causes me not to be Nice anymore
    and it's holds no prisoners after that
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    May 03, 2010 11:10 AM GMT
    I never describe myself as being a nice guy, I let people work that out for themselves! icon_biggrin.gif

    I tend to do more for others than I do for myself. I'd give my last cent and the clothes off my back to the people I care about. Though, it's hard to find someone who will do the same for me... It's also hard to find people who will give you a chance to prove yourself to them...

    I'd rather go down in history being known as 'that nice guy', than anything else... what a way to be remembered...

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    May 03, 2010 11:13 AM GMT
    One of the lines I really hate is when someone says, 'Tommy, you're such a nice guy' - cause it usually comes just before 'but I just don't think it's going to work' or some other equivalent 'this is the end' line icon_sad.gif

    I guess I qualify under jakebenson's older men - but I don't think I quite made it to ooooold yet! But I don't describe myself as a nice guy mainly for the above reason - cause I hate being called a 'nice guy', heard it too many times. Oh woe!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 03, 2010 11:16 AM GMT
    Nice guy on a young profile = Im weird
  • HOTWEILLER

    Posts: 347

    May 03, 2010 11:20 AM GMT
    Nice guy are those who call themselves BAD BOYS, at last they're being honest.
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    May 03, 2010 12:56 PM GMT
    I am a nice guy but I am not perfect either
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    May 03, 2010 1:02 PM GMT
    I consider myself to be a "nice guy", but there are multiple layers. I think I'm always polite when it comes to others, try to be reasonable, sensitive and don't act like a self centered ass. There are times however......
  • Shiv66

    Posts: 55

    May 03, 2010 2:18 PM GMT
    I have never met a guy who self-describes as "nice," whether it's in a profile or real life, who is that. On the contrary, he invariably turns out to be a douchebag. I've always found this to be fascinating. It's as if the desire to be nice has somehow warped his interior mirror to such a degree that he believes that his the sum of deliberate actions, which appear to be cover-ups for the little monster he really is, make him into this "nice guy."

    The same goes with "sane" and "normal." I know I am neither; in fact, I am a complete nutter and about as abnormal as I can possibly be, and it's not willful, I just have a pathological fear of appearing ordinary. As I say in my profile, I'm the poster child for ENTP personality type.

    To me, anyone who would want to be normal is absolutely insane. The communal perception of what normal should be is forever changing, so how can it possibly be real in any objective sense? Adhering to the common illusion of normalcy, sane-ness, niceness is far crazier than anything I can conjure up, so I run a mile when I read or hear adjectives like that.

    It was only when the guy I'm currently dating described himself as a weirdo, I breathed a sigh of relief and relaxed into the prospect of an LTR.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 03, 2010 2:25 PM GMT
    God you're a bunch of cynics. I'm a nice guy, really. Twats.

    icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 03, 2010 2:29 PM GMT
    Fuck being nice. That shit's for pussies.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 03, 2010 2:31 PM GMT
    I dispense kindness where I see fit. And let me tell you the average of situations and people don't call for it. I've been nice for the hell of it. Fucked if I'm going back to that!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 03, 2010 3:20 PM GMT
    Hm. Nice…
    I am even-keeled, caring, and generous. But I have a temper.
    I am one hell of a lover, but I will cut you off if you disrespect me.
    I will listen to your problems, but be brutally honest if you are a fuck-up; because I love you and want the best for you.
    I will assist you when you need help, but I know when I’m being used.
    I can praise you, build you up, encourage you and defend you. But if you cut my heart, I’ll cut you back. I am not a sucker.
    I love beautiful things because I’m idealistic. I know there are ideals in behavior, and I do my damnedest to be good. But I’m human, and I fail at perfection.

    I had to learn about good qualities because I saw bad and destructive qualities in my family. I work hard at being good because I want to improve. I want to be nice, but I’m not entirely. None of us are perfect.

    How would you respond to an “honest" profile that said:
    “I’m a complete asshole, looking for a total dickhead. I’m pissy, deceptive, selfish and boring. If you’re a prick, then I’m your douche!”


  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 03, 2010 3:49 PM GMT
    Always remember, actions speak louder than words. Don't take a person on their words about anything, until they prove it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 03, 2010 3:53 PM GMT
    I've always known myself to be quite polite and easy-going. I agree with wrestler. Anyone can SAY they are nice, and most will. The fantasticness of being online is that you have all the time in the world to think out how you want to write something before actually sending it out, making sure it's as least assholic as possible. I do this as well, but not because I'm an asshole. Merely because I don't want to offend anyone.
  • fitnfunmich

    Posts: 181

    May 03, 2010 4:46 PM GMT
    I think this is a very thought-provoking thread. People often have such little insight into themselves to adequately describe their personality. Even if they did, I don't know many who would say "I'm an asshole" regardless of whether it were true.

    I suspect it's best to avoid blanket self-descriptions for many reasons, aside from our own egos and nearsightedness. One person's hot could be another person's skank. Beauty is clearly in the eye of the beholder, so best to just post a pic and be done with it, and let the onlooker interpret it as he will.

    As for personality descriptions, again it's too nebulous to say "nice" or "friendly." It is far more helpful to say something like "I enjoy making dinner for someone I care about," or "I never pick up after myself."

    One more thing, dreamer: my assumption is that since you dated some of these guys, clearly YOU thought they were nice guys at some point. So it's possible that you are picking the wrong guys for you. Just a thought.

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    May 03, 2010 6:06 PM GMT
    Oh, for goodness sakes! Like there are no genuinely "nice guys" out there...

    Some guys might use the term loosely in their profiles, but there's no reason to generalize. There are REAL people who are considerate towards other people, animals, the environment, etc. Being a "nice guy" is mainly about not being selfish.

    I'm sure if you volunteer for "Habitat for Humanity", a hospital, etc., you'll meet plenty of nice guys. Looking for them at the gym or in a nightclub may not be the best venue.
  • ursa_minor

    Posts: 566

    May 03, 2010 6:08 PM GMT
    well, the word ¨nice¨ used to mean the exact opposite of what it means today. maybe they are being honest about themselves being icon_twisted.gif NICE

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    May 03, 2010 6:11 PM GMT
    lilTanker saidI'm a nice guy, until you irritate me or do something totally stupid or if i"m in a bad mood..

    So I'm rarely nice... however I do an awesome bitchy!


    I've learned that being nice and diplomatic towards others most of the time, and yet on rare (justified) occasions showing a serious temper, will actually be very effectful/shocking and command a lot of respect (or fear, which is almost just as good) LOL

    (people who have seen me go off, know not to mess with me icon_twisted.gif )

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 03, 2010 7:02 PM GMT
    wow- great responses, gentlemen. When someone says I am "nice", maybe that also means that they are not interested in anything else than a casual conversation or acquaintance. Oh, Dreamer is a really nice guy. lol I'd rather go down in history as a power bitch than just that "nice guy" lol
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 03, 2010 8:58 PM GMT
    Niceguy89 said
    JakeBenson saidI assume people who say they're a "nice guy" on their profile are obviously trying and failing to be nice, or want to find nice guys to affiliate with in order to make them less of an asshole. Either way I don't think they are nice. Older men (like ooooold men) who say they are nice I think are genuinely nice. But younger men who say they are nice are just moderately unintelligent and are reading from a script of "top 100 things to say to people" without even realizing that they are just lab-rats waiting to be experimented on. The "getting to know people" English vocabulary has really been dumbed down lately. Or maybe it always has been austere and insipid.


    ok lol....

    Just cause im a niceguy i wont get mad icon_razz.gif
    I think I'm a niceguy, and im young. So I'm also unintelligent?
    Maybe I should just quite university then...

    Also, help me think of another nickname then!! icon_smile.gif


    You just sound pompous, irritating, and insecure to me. Maybe not necessarily unintelligent, but definitely annoying. And definitely not nice. You're just a dick like me, but at least I admit I am. You won't admit it because you're a European douche.icon_cool.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 03, 2010 9:00 PM GMT
    dreamer saidwow- great responses, gentlemen. When someone says I am "nice", maybe that also means that they are not interested in anything else than a casual conversation or acquaintance. Oh, Dreamer is a really nice guy. lol I'd rather go down in history as a power bitch than just that "nice guy" lol


    You're a nice guy.