Having a man...yet you still need more....? WHY?

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    May 04, 2010 2:39 AM GMT
    Why is it that you need to come here as an individual, or partnered, seeking votes for popularity or asking other dudes for sex and 3 ways? How about showing and exposing yourself or doing things that are really "not together" like sitting around here in the video chat rooms or forums....why?

    Is this my example? Should I do this stuff when I have a bf or a partner?

    Are you guys really that bored?

    I am curious .......not judging, but I am wondering if I can get away with so much shit. It seems like the acceptable norm. Is it me? Can I still be...ME?

    Is real jock that important that it fills a VOID in your life that you could not or will not live with out it?

    Have my cake and eat it to is the gay way right?icon_wink.gif


    What is the VALUE of it all....
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    May 04, 2010 2:52 AM GMT
    Mystic_Man saidWhy is it that you need to come here as an individual, or partnered, seeking votes for popularity or asking other dudes for sex and 3 ways? How about showing and exposing yourself or doing things that are really "not together" like sitting around here in the video chat rooms or forums....why?

    Is this my example? Should I do this stuff when I have a bf or a partner?


    It can be your example if you want it to be. Or, you can choose other examples that are consistent with what you seek.

    What you and your partner choose to do might ideally be based on thoughtful discussion and mutual agreement.

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    May 04, 2010 2:55 AM GMT

    Johnny, for us Realjock is an add-to, not an instead-of. icon_wink.gif There are so many great people here that we wouldn't know otherwise. (like you...)

    xo -us
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    May 04, 2010 3:02 AM GMT
    Mystic_Man said
    meninlove said
    Johnny, for us Realjock is an add-to, not an instead-of. icon_wink.gif There are so many great people here that we wouldn't know otherwise. (like you...)

    xo -us


    It's lacking something....I have not figured it out. I am not sure what it is?


    Greatness? people?

    It's a Giant playground, that's how I see it. Time wasted?

    Thanks, but I don't feel so great coming here much anymoreicon_confused.gif
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    May 04, 2010 3:09 AM GMT
    Mystic_Man saidIt's lacking something....I have not figured it out. I am not sure what it is?


    Seek and you shall find.

    Here are some questions to ponder which might help you find what you are seeking.

    Are you utilizing RJ as a tool to introduce yourself to community with an end result of actually meeting people for activities? (Not just sex, but for community.)

    Do you engage yourself in your local real community in addition to the virtual community?

    Are there aspects of RJ that you do like? If so, what are those aspects and how might you help magnify their presence?

    Are there aspects of your local real community that can be enhanced by the RJ infrastructure?

    I hope you do find what you are looking for, whether it be in the real world or virtual world. The two worlds do not have to be separate and can help individuals to find real community wherever it may be.

    Aloha and Be Well!
    Alan
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    May 04, 2010 3:19 AM GMT
    GAMRican said
    Mystic_Man saidIt's lacking something....I have not figured it out. I am not sure what it is?


    Seek and you shall find.

    Here are some questions to ponder which might help you find what you are seeking.

    Are you utilizing RJ as a tool to introduce yourself to community with an end result of actually meeting people for activities? (Not just sex, but for community.)

    Do you engage yourself in your local real community in addition to the virtual community?

    Are there aspects of RJ that you do like? If so, what are those aspects and how might you help magnify their presence?

    Are there aspects of your local real community that can be enhanced by the RJ infrastructure?

    I hope you do find what you are looking for, whether it be in the real world or virtual world. The two worlds do not have to be separate and can help individuals to find real community wherever it may be.

    Aloha and Be Well!
    Alan


    It's fascinating for sure. I guess my opinions have been formulating and now I have some that I have just not expressed. Maybe I am starting to....maybe you will soon hate me!

    Just maybe
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    May 04, 2010 3:26 AM GMT
    Mystic_Man said

    It's fascinating for sure. I guess my opinions have been formulating and now I have some that I have just not expressed. Maybe I am starting to....maybe you will soon hate me!

    Just maybe


    Nope. You'll have to try harder. Or just dive into the personal attack. icon_biggrin.gif

    From my read of your posts, you keep the focus on the issue, and not the person. That's an admirable quality, and one which enhances any community that you would choose to be a part of.

    Mystic, your opinions are valid and what I sense as frustration is real. I can understand your questioning of the value of online virtual communities because I have had those questions myself. I too have found myself frustrated in regards to the dimensions of both real and virtual communities. I am learning how to bridge the gap between the two so that they can complement and enhance each other, instead of being completely different and hence "lacking".

    Take the best of both and put it together.

    It can be an "and", not just an "or".

    Aloha and Be Well!
    Alan
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    May 04, 2010 3:29 AM GMT
    Being happily partnered does not mean being suffocatingly attached to one another at all times. As much as I like sitting around and playing tiddle-my-winkie with my boyfriend, I'd be lying if I said I didn't need 'me' time, too. Catching up with the comings and goings on RJ is like unwinding for the evening in front of my favorite evening guilty pleasure soap opera.
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    May 04, 2010 3:40 AM GMT
    zdrew saidBeing happily partnered does not mean being suffocatingly attached to one another at all times. As much as I like sitting around and playing tiddle-my-winkie with my boyfriend, I'd be lying if I said I didn't need 'me' time, too. Catching up with the comings and goings on RJ is like unwinding for the evening in front of my favorite evening guilty pleasure soap opera.


    Perhaps,


    You sound sarcastic? I am not down with sarcasm much. I am down with real. Maybe be a volunteer for a youth group. Is this like the gay 6:00 news....not being sarcastic here, I am wondering?

    Unwinding here on the pages of a world wide______ lol I guess it's like a soap, I have yet to even watch one episode of American Idol. Maybe I am backwards, maybe I am not....
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    May 04, 2010 3:50 AM GMT
    Mystic_Man said, "Maybe I am starting to....maybe you will soon hate me!"

    No way- even if hell freezes over.

    ...and in your OP you said, " What is the VALUE of it all...." and to that we say,

    Abe Lincoln said , "To ease the heartache of another is to forget one's own." and we've seen you do that and make a difference to other guys.

    George Elliot said, " What do we live for, if it is not to make life less difficult for each other?" and we've seen you do that for guys here, too.

    ...so there are some reasons.

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    May 04, 2010 3:51 AM GMT
    Mystic --

    Sarcasm? No. In all seriousness...RJ is a way to stay connected with the larger gay community without having to become too invested...so yeah, maybe it is like watching the evening news, keeping one toe in the stream of mass (gay) society. As for volunteering with youth organizations...been there, done that, might again in the future.
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    May 04, 2010 3:55 AM GMT
    i dunno.
    i visit more from habit now than interest.
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    May 04, 2010 4:04 AM GMT
    GAMRican said
    Mystic_Man said

    It's fascinating for sure. I guess my opinions have been formulating and now I have some that I have just not expressed. Maybe I am starting to....maybe you will soon hate me!

    Just maybe


    Nope. You'll have to try harder. Or just dive into the personal attack. icon_biggrin.gif

    From my read of your posts, you keep the focus on the issue, and not the person. That's an admirable quality, and one which enhances any community that you would choose to be a part of.

    Mystic, your opinions are valid and what I sense as frustration is real. I can understand your questioning of the value of online virtual communities because I have had those questions myself. I too have found myself frustrated in regards to the dimensions of both real and virtual communities. I am learning how to bridge the gap between the two so that they can complement and enhance each other, instead of being completely different and hence "lacking".

    Take the best of both and put it together.

    It can be an "and", not just an "or".

    Aloha and Be Well!
    Alan



    Thank you all for your responce. I am guenuinly trying to understand things, motives and desirtes of people.


    GAMRican,

    You seem very genuine and that's nice to know. I am not really down on anyone, nor am I really frustrated. I just noticed how things change.

    As far as a gap, I see this on line as a play ground. Really that's what it is. Another form of amusement.


    The real, well my friend did just text me and asked if I wanted to go have a beer and talk. He is involved in the community and offers gay counseling. He is cool and we have been friend for 10 years. We are going to publish a book together. We can relate on many levels. He has a partner, were are just friends. The place I go is a chill place, beer, music and comfortable atmosphere.....

    Comfortable, atmosphere....is that here? Hmmmm


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    May 04, 2010 4:14 AM GMT
    Honestly?

    For me, RJ is my gay outlet. I'm not a big fan of the gay community where I am, most are druggies, drop-outs, whores, or losers. It's rather depressing.

    Here? Holy cripes!
    Most people AREN'T complete bitches. Speechless.
    People are in long term relationships. Whoa.
    Some people are doing PhD. work. Freaking a that's amazing.

    Not to mention, the exercising resources are good, and the conversations are even better.
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    May 04, 2010 4:23 AM GMT
    Mystic_Man saidComfortable, atmosphere....is that here? Hmmmm


    It can be. This particular forum thread is "comfortable" right now. At least it is for me. Granted it could change at any moment depending upon who decides to post next and whether they're genuinely trying to contribute something of value to the "atmosphere" or if they go the other way.

    You're cool. And like the meninlove said through their quotes, we're here for each other. Today, I'm in a great headspace. The other day I was nucking futs crazed over all kinds of garbage. Today, we're here for you, just as other days you guys have all been here for me.

    And that, in my opinion, is what community is based upon.

    Big hug! Big Aloha! Be Well!
    Alan
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    May 04, 2010 4:26 AM GMT
    I'm just here for the ass. Yeaahh boooooooi!
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    May 04, 2010 4:39 AM GMT
    Ciarsolo saidI'm just here for the ass. Yeaahh boooooooi!

    Just remember that it's "virtual ass". Don't go sticking your appendages into any computer ports or such. You might be shocked at the outcome! icon_lol.gif
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    May 04, 2010 4:47 AM GMT
    GAMRican said
    Ciarsolo saidI'm just here for the ass. Yeaahh boooooooi!

    Just remember that it's "virtual ass". Don't go sticking your appendages into any computer ports or such. You might be shocked at the outcome! icon_lol.gif


    don't knock it till you try it icon_wink.gif
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    May 04, 2010 4:48 AM GMT
    Ciarsolo saiddon't knock it till you try it icon_wink.gif


    Who says I haven't? icon_twisted.gif
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    May 04, 2010 4:52 AM GMT
    bzzzzt!
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    May 04, 2010 4:54 AM GMT
    Mystic_Man saidWhy is it that you need to come here as an individual, or partnered, seeking votes for popularity or asking other dudes for sex and 3 ways? How about showing and exposing yourself or doing things that are really "not together" like sitting around here in the video chat rooms or forums....why?

    Is this my example? Should I do this stuff when I have a bf or a partner?

    Are you guys really that bored?

    I am curious .......not judging, but I am wondering if I can get away with so much shit. It seems like the acceptable norm. Is it me? Can I still be...ME?

    Is real jock that important that it fills a VOID in your life that you could not or will not live with out it?

    Have my cake and eat it to is the gay way right?icon_wink.gif


    What is the VALUE of it all....



    Dear Mystic_Man!


    I can relate what you are saying and believe I feel the same way! unfortunately the internet world such as this forum tends to form groupies, such as in RJ, where everyone else is look down unless you fit the description of a super fit, young looking, and good looking gay male; and even thou there is nothing wrong with that, it too, eventually becomes old and too familiarly boring and superficial; where the only thing left for entertainment purposes, it seems, are the endless threads of personal insults, sarcasm, and a dozen mindless social interactions, that at least for me it is very discouraging and I am even fearful to participate in any topic, so as to avoid the usual dosage of sarcasm and personal insults from many members on RJ!

    But even with all of that I still like this website because there are some nice guys, like yourself and Meninlove, who are very respectful, insightful, and quite friendly even thou a lot of times my comments goes unnoticed, but luckily for me I am not a narcissistic or attention whore, otherwise I would be just as rude, sarcastic, and disrespectful like the majority of everyone on here carry on with their daily dose of mean spirited behavior!!


    Leandro ♥
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    May 04, 2010 4:57 AM GMT
    Good question...but, RJ is not a substitute for my REAL, ACTUAL, HUMAN INTERACTIVE, LIFE...it is as Meninlove said...a nice "Add-to" not an "instead of".....the point of any "playground"...real or virtual, is to exercise the body, mind and soul and to "interact" for experience, entertainment, information, distraction, etc.....not in place of "real life", but it certainly intersects with and interacts with real life on different plane and angles....
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    May 04, 2010 4:59 AM GMT
    Sometimes some men can not accept all the traditional values and needs and expectations of the white picket fence.

    And all the accepted cliches and "that's the way its supposed to ne"

    Live your life happy dependent only on what makes you happy..............There are many choices. Each of them as equally valid and fullfilling as anything else.

    Be lucky. Walk under ladders. And don't forget Karma.
  • HOTWEILLER

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    May 04, 2010 5:01 AM GMT
    It`s part of the human nature never get satisfied with what we have, we always seek for more.
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    May 04, 2010 5:03 AM GMT
    You're right Mystic. I was coming on here for years when I was with my bf and finally within the last year realized that maybe I just wasn't that into him if I kept ogling other guys.

    I think if you're with someone you truly love then you only have eyes for them.
    Of course it's different strokes for different folks. Whatever works.