Odd Question

  • iHavok

    Posts: 1477

    May 04, 2010 8:10 PM GMT
    On average, how many dates do you go on with a man before you sleep with him?




    Why do so many gay men refuse to answer this question?
    Why does it upset them so much?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 04, 2010 8:12 PM GMT
    0
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 04, 2010 8:20 PM GMT
    Perhaps because no matter what answer is given, the respondent is "shooting in the dark", and is probably going to miss some arbitrary target, and that's the end of that.

    And, if somehow the respondent does guess the magic number, there is now set up some kind of baseless expectation instead of letting natural feelings take their course.

    Just my opinion, not any kind of judgement on any one person's choice.

    I just like to let things run their course naturally and without expectation. I am seldom disappointed and frequently surprised.
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    May 04, 2010 8:20 PM GMT
    Depends on how into him I was.When I was dating, at least 3 dates to get to know someone





    and make sure they don't have their Mother's corpse upstairs a' la Hitchcock's "Psycho"!icon_eek.gif
    icon_razz.gificon_cool.gif
  • iHavok

    Posts: 1477

    May 04, 2010 8:26 PM GMT
    StudlyScrewRite said Depends on how into him I was.When I was dating, at least 3 dates to get to know someone





    and make sure they don't have their Mother's corpse upstairs a' la Hitchcock's "Psycho"!icon_eek.gif
    icon_razz.gificon_cool.gif


    And this is the answer I always get.
    "it depends..."

    No, an average is a statistic.

    1. Tally how many men you've dated.

    2. Take each of those men, count up the number of dates you went on before you put out.

    divide 2 by 1, and you have the average.

    it's a pointless question, but the response I get makes me tend to think someone's uncomfortable with putting out so early, hence the evasion.
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    May 04, 2010 8:30 PM GMT
    iHavok said
    it's a pointless question, but the response I get makes me tend to think someone's uncomfortable with putting out so early, hence the evasion.
    Putting out "early" means not even leaving the bar.
  • iHavok

    Posts: 1477

    May 04, 2010 8:40 PM GMT
    Makes me miss living in a town with a gay bar.
  • Sparkycat

    Posts: 1064

    May 04, 2010 11:39 PM GMT
    Why bother with a date?
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    May 04, 2010 11:41 PM GMT
    Sparkycat saidWhy bother with a date?

    Hear! Hear! I strap a mattress on the roof of my car when I go to the bar. I know that's overkill, but I like my comfort! ... icon_lol.gif
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    May 04, 2010 11:42 PM GMT
    paulflexes said
    iHavok said
    it's a pointless question, but the response I get makes me tend to think someone's uncomfortable with putting out so early, hence the evasion.
    Putting out "early" means not even leaving the bar.

    No, it's not early to do it in the john. ... icon_redface.gif ... icon_lol.gif ... whaddaya want? ...a long drawn out engagement! ... icon_rolleyes.gif ... You know, if you spend too much time in the stall, they'll charge you rent. ...Is he really worth all that??? ... icon_eek.gif
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    May 04, 2010 11:56 PM GMT
    When a person says that "it depends" that's about as honest of an answer as one can give without sounding like a prude or a whore I think.

    It really does depend because some guys have it better then others and situations are critical in advancement. If the chemistry is there and both parties are feeling the connection then a 1st date sexual encounter might be all that's needed. For some it might be like 3 dates to maybe a month or longer. Neither is bad.

    Since you are asking the question, iHavok, how many dates does it take for you before you build up the nerve to wanna jump in the sack with someone?

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    May 04, 2010 11:59 PM GMT
    Define sleep. icon_wink.gif
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    May 05, 2010 12:25 AM GMT
    iHavok said
    it's a pointless question, but the response I get makes me tend to think someone's uncomfortable with putting out so early, hence the evasion.


    Amen, to the pointless.

    Maybe not everyone keeps a running tally of dates and dates-resulting-in-shags. So most would have to guess.

    Maybe guys don't want any part in setting up yet another criteria, that would be used to divide the dudes into whores and prudes.

    And, echoing Guy101, why should anybody put out when the OP doesn't? Maybe the Op is uncomfortable?
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    May 05, 2010 12:44 AM GMT
    relative. some men i sleep with on the first date others when i feel like
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    May 05, 2010 12:48 AM GMT
    bernd said
    iHavok said
    it's a pointless question, but the response I get makes me tend to think someone's uncomfortable with putting out so early, hence the evasion.


    Amen, to the pointless.

    Maybe not everyone keeps a running tally of dates and dates-resulting-in-shags. So most would have to guess.

    I keep an Excel spreadsheet for all my dates, shags, and "casual encounters." ... icon_wink.gif
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    May 05, 2010 12:48 AM GMT
    My usual criterion for sleeping with a guy is "will he let me." ... Hey, I am a prude and proud of it ... icon_rolleyes.gif ... icon_wink.gif
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    May 05, 2010 1:31 AM GMT
    Caslon14000 saidYou know, if you spend too much time in the stall, they'll charge you rent. ...Is he really worth all that??? ... icon_eek.gif
    No. Who said anything about taking it to the stall? You've never done it on the bar stool? Damn boy, you need to get out more. icon_razz.gif
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    May 05, 2010 1:32 AM GMT
    Caslon14000 saidMy usual criterion for sleeping with a guy is "will he let me." ... Hey, I am a prude and proud of it ... icon_rolleyes.gif ... icon_wink.gif
    My criteria is they don't keep me awake by farting all night. If I'm gonna "sleep" with him, he's probably not my type anyway. icon_lol.gif
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    May 05, 2010 1:36 AM GMT
    Average for me would probably be about 4 or 5 dates. There was one guy where it was on the second date altough arguably it COULD have been considered the first official date, but I still like to think it was the second. icon_wink.gif
  • JayneCobb

    Posts: 709

    May 05, 2010 1:37 AM GMT
    I usually don't sleep with someone unless were in a relationship. I guess I'm just old country that way.
  • stevendust

    Posts: 398

    May 05, 2010 1:58 AM GMT
    iHavok saidOn average, how many dates do you go on with a man before you sleep with him?




    Why do so many gay men refuse to answer this question?
    Why does it upset them so much?

    Possibly because guys don't set rules. I know I don't, I would have slept with a guy when the timing felt right. It's the same basic rule as with the rest of life, really.