My bf and I just did this trip last August and stayed at "The Woods" in Guerneville. This website has a bit of information on the many gay friendly resorts in the area:http://www.russianrivertravel.com/gay/lodging.htm
I spent a lot of time looking around to try and find a decent looking place and was definitely a bit disappointed with our choice. The bed was comfortable, but the room was very minimalist. We didn't get a chance to use the pool as it was way too cool and the other clientele looked a little on the creepy side.
If you have never been, I would strongly recommend doing some wine tasting while you are out there. You don't even need to have a guide or map, they are all over the place. To get from the highway to our hotel we must have passed 20-30 wineries. Korbel champagne is made up there and was definitely a fun one. Tasting is free and you get to try 5 different champagnes.
We canoed up the river, which was also pretty fun:http://burkescanoetrips.com/
The river was extremely busy while we were there. The banks are littered with small beaches, so a lot of the locals were out and about. We even got attacked by some little kids with water guns a few times. There was a constant flow of other people canoeing which can make it fun to watch others get stuck on rocks so you know where not to go
If you are interested, you can go for a hike in the Redwoods:http://www.stateparks.com/armstrong_redwoods.html
I would strongly recommend taking the easy trail straight up the middle. We made the poor choice of listening to the old fellow at the visitors center and going around the park, 4 miles uphill and then 4 miles downhill with nothing too special. If you've seen a forest, you've seen this one. All of the cool shit and redwood trees are down lower.
We drove up from LA, so if you plan to take a drive I have a list of some other recommendations for you if you would like. Feel free to drop me a line.