23 yrs old and never had a boyfriend....

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 07, 2010 6:16 PM GMT
    i've been out since i was 18 and very active in the gay scene. ever since i came out, there's always been some major reason why the relationships i've wanted to continue with have ended. nothing has lasted longer than a few weeks and it never becomes official. i started doing the going out to bars and hooking up thing when i first came out and i'm sick of it now. i want something more meaningful because i have alot to offer and i want someone in my life.

    have i become stuck in the going out/hookup scene even though i stopped the hookup?

    im 23 and i worry about becoming the 40-yr old virgin (i'm saving sex for a serious relationship) and some people see 2 types of people, flakey slutty ppl who hook up alot (me at 19) and long term relationship people. can i go from one to the other?
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    May 07, 2010 6:21 PM GMT
    btw ignore the profile pic, i can't reveal my identity because of my job. i'm not using this profile to meet people.
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    May 07, 2010 9:04 PM GMT
    Love/Serious relationship finds you when you least expect it.

    I am 24. Went to hookup with some Marine online because I was amazingly horny. I walked it, fully ready to just be objectified, and we sat down and talked.

    3 Months later and I am confident to say he is a solid, caring man and my boyfriend.

    It just "happens".
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    May 07, 2010 9:06 PM GMT
    I'm 23 and never had a boyfriend or even hooked up either. Like Pinny said, "it just happens", so you can't plan for it. Life always has a way of reminding you of that.
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    May 07, 2010 9:08 PM GMT
    Yeah uh... your probably NOT going to find love in a bar.
  • NashRugger

    Posts: 1089

    May 07, 2010 9:08 PM GMT
    You can't ever expect a relationship to come along. You always should start as wanting nothing more than being friends with any guy you meet, and see if it grows from there.

    I'm more of a relationship guy, and had a real slutty period in 2006, then settled with a guy I met at the club, mainly cause my friend cockblocked any fling.

    Seriously though, I wish you the best of luck, and if you've got questions or anything, ask me.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    May 07, 2010 9:10 PM GMT
    I had a bf before I even realized I wanted to accept who I was or "out".

    I would suggest you think carefully about what you want (as in a long term relationship) and focus accordingly. You might want to consider someone a little older... many in your age bracket are still trying to figure out what the hell they want.

    Good luck there!
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    May 07, 2010 9:11 PM GMT
    Come on man.... 23 and single isn't so bad

    I'm in the same boat as you, but I've looked at guys on the market and yeah most guys your age are still going through the hook-up phase or the emotionally self destructive phase or the finding themselves phase or even the bitter and jaded phase.

    Just relax and what your looking for will come along. Ask yourself how many men, women, gays, straighties found the love of their lives at 23

    As gay as it is to quote this....


    Enjoy yourself. That's what your 20s are for. Your 30s are to learn the lessons and your 40s are to pay for the drinks.
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    May 07, 2010 9:12 PM GMT
    Didn't have a boyfriend until I was 25.

    Consequently, I'm a maladjusted cranky pants. Don't make my same mistake.
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    May 07, 2010 9:21 PM GMT
    mickeytopogigio said... maladjusted cranky pants.


    Mickey, you talk just like EasilyDistracted. Are you two related?

    As to the OP, I recommend, at the tender age of 23, worrying instead about how many countries you've visited, planes you've jumped out of, mountains you've hiked, etc., rather than boyfriends. You get a few countries and mountains under your belt by the time you're an old washed-out toothless geezer at 25, and you'll attracted a higher quality boyfriend for your "golden years" after 30.
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    May 07, 2010 9:26 PM GMT
    I thought hooking-up meant having one night stands.... icon_confused.gif
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    May 07, 2010 10:12 PM GMT
    Hey, I'm 23 myself and you are still way ahead of me...if that makes you feel any better.
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    May 07, 2010 10:51 PM GMT
    I came out around 21/22 ish, so at 23, I was single and slept around with different guys! Your time will come just don't lose hope on a good guy. My first real bf (LTR) happened when I was late 26 yo. So it's all good, give it a couple of years. icon_smile.gif
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    May 07, 2010 11:28 PM GMT
    Pinny saidLove/Serious relationship finds you when you least expect it.

    I am 24. Went to hookup with some Marine online because I was amazingly horny. I walked it, fully ready to just be objectified, and we sat down and talked.

    3 Months later and I am confident to say he is a solid, caring man and my boyfriend.

    It just "happens".


    This is the cutest thing I've read yet. <3

    The thing is... waiting is difficult. Wondering if it'll ever come to you, the uncertainty can be very unnerving. What do you do in the meanwhile - when you want someone to hold... besides your pillow?
  • oursirpeace

    Posts: 199

    May 07, 2010 11:37 PM GMT
    I'm 26 and a half, currently steadily seeing a guy for the first time since I (sort of) came out at 22, altho it's not going too well lol... if that makes you feel better. Other than that, I dunno what to say regarding this matter.
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    May 08, 2010 12:57 AM GMT
    Take your time and enjoy life Jberry. 23 isnt old at all!!!. I didnt have my first girlfriend until 25 and my first boyfriend until 28. You will find your match.
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    May 08, 2010 12:58 AM GMT
    me too im 18 and never had a bf :/
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    May 08, 2010 1:24 AM GMT
    It's not a bad thing. I'm 30 years old and have never been in relationship and I can count on one hand (minus the thumb) how many sexual experiences I've had.

    I would like to think and hope you can go from being slutty to being grounded and stable. That would all depend solely on you and what you want from a relationship. It's nothing to worry about really. The best advice I can give would be to just be yourself and live freely and happily. Sometimes wanting something so bad can lead to disappointment. Don't rush the wanting of being in a relationship. It will happen when it happens and you'll know it when it does.
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    May 08, 2010 2:58 AM GMT
    I had a boyfriend for 3 weeks. If 3 weeks is not long enough, then I never had a boyfriend, and I'm 26 (this guy is now 42).

    To be honest, this is completely fair. I reject skinny and obese guys, and since average weight guys are very sought-after, my situation is no surprise. I'm living my life now very happily with plenty of projects. A boyfriend probably won't happen until I'm 30, when I'll start to reap the benefits of 6 years of training.
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    May 08, 2010 3:00 AM GMT
    It just...happens.

    I fully intended on pouring my heart out to some random guy who isn't good for me in a lot of aspects and practically selling my soul to say that I liked him and didn't even know him and one random day... a Myspace friend request came up.


    1 and a half years later. icon_biggrin.gif
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    May 08, 2010 3:37 AM GMT
    none of my serious relationships ever happened with guys I thought I'd like in that way... the human heart works in strange ways
  • Delivis

    Posts: 2332

    May 08, 2010 5:19 AM GMT
    One boyfriend so far at 24, but it was mostly a long distance relationship. It also did not end particularily well.
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    May 08, 2010 5:27 AM GMT
    24.5 and still none either. There's no point in making it work if you really, really don't like the person THAT much. Yea, I get along with a lot of people, but I guess I haven't found what I'm looking for (you have to 'click' [cliche] on many levels right?). Plus, I figure I'm still in school with two part time jobs and am a gamer on weekends. I'm not meeting a lot of people, and the guys at the gym (school gym) are all younger than me now and neurotically scared to show interest I'd say at the age. I'm planning to join a club for a new sport I've not ever done before on Monday. I'm not saying which in case one of them is on here O.o, which would be creepy but wonderful at the same time right?
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    May 08, 2010 5:49 AM GMT
    Im 19 never had bf either, so dont worry just take your time. You will eventually get one....

    on a side note, seeing how so many guys are older than me and never had a bf kinda scares me O.O....I hope I wont be too old when I get one :i
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    May 08, 2010 6:13 AM GMT
    I've been out since I was 21, and it seems that I've only encountered the most selfish, thoughtless, egotistical, semi-closeted, bombastic, class-status only guys during my dating times. Sure, there were a couple of guys in that muck who would have been the ideal guys for me. But unfortunately, circumstances didn't make things possible, like their either moving to another city (500 miles plus) or the potential of us having anything genuine realistically fizzled away.

    So, no. I can't technically state that I've ever had a boyfriend. Plus, despite my being here on RealJock, I haven't dated anyone for 8 years. I am now 40.