Help!! Is he gay?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 09, 2010 8:16 AM GMT
    hey guys, so I'm having a problem with this at school. There's this guy who I've been having a crush on since the start of the year, but the problem is that I'm not sure if he's gay or maybe just a really nice and friendly guy.

    so, I've read that sometimes the way to tell if someone's gay would be to see the way they walk or the sound of their voice. My crush definitely has that gay twang in his voice and the way he walks isn't exactly the most masculine of all. Sometimes he leans in on me, fiddles with my school's badge (which is on the sleeve of the uniform), calls my name lotsa times for no reason or even punch my arm.

    There was once we were watching a show where this guy proposed to a girl and my crush immediately went "aww" while pinching the side of my pants. (pretty girly thing right?). There are lotsa signs that made me wonder if he's gay but there were also others that made me question otherwise

    He told me he had an ex-gf, he comments on hot girls, and for some reason he showed me that he had those apps of hot girls in his iphone. He always tells me not to act gay and there was once he even said that a guy was disgusting cause of an effeminate pose he did in a photo.

    ps, i'm in an all-guys school and i'm closeted
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    May 09, 2010 11:48 AM GMT
    He's probably not gay, but may look to experiment. I remember one friend (who is quite straight) use to "tease" me in the same way. One day, he had given me a big wet kiss on the lips! That totally threw me for a loop. Anyways, some time after that, we got into a wrestling match (I was 21 and he was 20 at the time), so we're going at it, then I pin him, with no way for him to get out. At that point, he started calling me names like faggot and homo, getting real vicious! After that I came out to him, telling him how was it like being beaten by a fruit. lol Anyways, he told me that he was just angry for losing but was trying to get me to admit "it"(the being gay part). He also told me he did experiment in his teens, but it wasn't for him. He's now got 2 boys, and his GF is quite a cool gal. It sucks that he is straight, but he's still a good friend (not my best, but up there).

    Back to your problem, he's most likely fishing to find out on which side of the fence you sit. And when he does, it can go three ways:
    1). He'll accept you and maybe come out to you
    2). He'll accept you but tell you he's straight-(still leaves the possibility for fun)
    3). He's trying to out you so as to humiliate you-(very far fetched but not unheard of.

    There are two ways you can handle this:
    1). Stay closeted and don't make a move on him and tell him squat until you finish school.
    2). Take a leap of faith and talk to him.

    I can't tell you more because this is one of life's cruel lessons, but maybe someone has a different take on this. Anyways, good luck to you!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 09, 2010 2:36 PM GMT
    Hey boy_needs_guide, there's a lot of wishful speculation in your post.

    I don't think he's gay.

    -Doug
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    May 09, 2010 3:36 PM GMT
    Stop stereotyping. Not all gays are effeminate; and not all straights are masculine.
    Plus, straight guys who are comfortable with their sexuality tend to be more touchy-feely with guys they're close to. The moment you misinterpret that is the moment you lose a friend.
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    May 09, 2010 3:38 PM GMT
    paulflexes saidStop stereotyping. Not all gays are effeminate; and not all straights are masculine.
    Plus, straight guys who are comfortable with their sexuality tend to be more touchy-feely with guys they're close to. The moment you misinterpret that is the moment you lose a friend.


    THIS!
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    May 09, 2010 3:41 PM GMT
    I kind of agree, I would assume he probably isn't really gay or maybe he hadn't really figured it (or accepted it yet). At any rate, he isn't ready to be very accepting right now so while I'd be open minded toward him, I don't think he should be on your "gay" list anytime soon.
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    May 09, 2010 3:41 PM GMT
    I've been there (when I was in HS)...and what's already been said, I agree with...
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    May 09, 2010 3:53 PM GMT
    paulflexes saidStop stereotyping. Not all gays are effeminate; and not all straights are masculine.
    Plus, straight guys who are comfortable with their sexuality tend to be more touchy-feely with guys they're close to. The moment you misinterpret that is the moment you lose a friend.


    Agreed
  • cosmic_

    Posts: 7

    May 09, 2010 8:05 PM GMT
    paulflexes saidStop stereotyping. Not all gays are effeminate; and not all straights are masculine.
    Plus, straight guys who are comfortable with their sexuality tend to be more touchy-feely with guys they're close to. The moment you misinterpret that is the moment you lose a friend.


    Wow, I think this is very true. It is the answer to my own past doubts on whether my "best" friend was gay or not.
  • BlackBeltGuy

    Posts: 2609

    May 09, 2010 8:44 PM GMT
    he's not gay
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 09, 2010 8:52 PM GMT
    boy_needs_guide saidhey guys, so I'm having a problem with this at school. There's this guy who I've been having a crush on since the start of the year, but the problem is that I'm not sure if he's gay or maybe just a really nice and friendly guy.

    so, I've read that sometimes the way to tell if someone's gay would be to see the way they walk or the sound of their voice. My crush definitely has that gay twang in his voice and the way he walks isn't exactly the most masculine of all. Sometimes he leans in on me, fiddles with my school's badge (which is on the sleeve of the uniform), calls my name lotsa times for no reason or even punch my arm.

    There was once we were watching a show where this guy proposed to a girl and my crush immediately went "aww" while pinching the side of my pants. (pretty girly thing right?). There are lotsa signs that made me wonder if he's gay but there were also others that made me question otherwise

    He told me he had an ex-gf, he comments on hot girls, and for some reason he showed me that he had those apps of hot girls in his iphone. He always tells me not to act gay and there was once he even said that a guy was disgusting cause of an effeminate pose he did in a photo.

    ps, i'm in an all-guys school and i'm closeted


    Here's the best way to tell. Just ask. It's VERY SIMPLE. "You like guys, gals, or both? I'm gay."

    Stop with all the closeted drama. Just tell him, you're gay. Be done with it, and move on to the next item.

    KISS = Keep It Simple Silly.

    Quit beating yourself up with stupid shit like this.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 09, 2010 10:14 PM GMT
    paulflexes saidStop stereotyping. Not all gays are effeminate; and not all straights are masculine.
    Plus, straight guys who are comfortable with their sexuality tend to be more touchy-feely with guys they're close to. The moment you misinterpret that is the moment you lose a friend.


    So I' really straight after all and it's all been a terrible mistake; thank goodness.
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    May 09, 2010 10:31 PM GMT
    chuckystud said
    KISS = Keep It Simple Silly.
    Quit beating yourself up with stupid shit like this.


    Hmm- you're being awfully nice to this kid (without photos....)

    Using silly instead of stupid- Have you gone and softened up on us?icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 09, 2010 10:52 PM GMT
    Well, you have to be compassionate. LOL. Ignorant folks don't realize that they are. (Just making a joke.)

    One thing you'll notice about athletes / Real Jocks is a certain confidence level that carries them in about every part of their lives. It comes with the territory. Unfortunately, insecure folks often look upon that in a resentful and jealous way. They don't understand what it's like to like yourself and not sweat the small stuff, and believe in your ability to do whatever (be liked, lift weights, perform in a certain way).

    Reality is that the vast majority of folks will experience a same sex encounter at some point. It's just the nature of things.

    Study up on Kinsey, and spend some time in nature. It's all very natural and nothing to get worked up about.
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    May 09, 2010 11:35 PM GMT
    I went to an all male high school too and all the guys were extremely sexually frustrated all the time. Everyone (both gay and straight) was touchy feely, making passes at each other, and cracking gay jokes all the time. Lots of guys thought it was funny to teabag each other and to trick other guys into touching their erections through their pants. Both gay and straight guys did this at my school.

    I think that guys at that age are just trying to figure out their own sexuality and everyone is so concerned about their own sexuality and everyone else's sexuality too. Sorry but I don't think you can make any inferences about your friend's sexuality based on the info you provided us.

    Good luck!
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    May 10, 2010 5:34 AM GMT
    Pattison said
    paulflexes saidStop stereotyping. Not all gays are effeminate; and not all straights are masculine.
    Plus, straight guys who are comfortable with their sexuality tend to be more touchy-feely with guys they're close to. The moment you misinterpret that is the moment you lose a friend.


    So I' really straight after all and it's all been a terrible mistake; thank goodness.
    Touchy-feely is not the same as gropey-fucky. icon_razz.gif
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    May 10, 2010 4:30 PM GMT
    paulflexes saidStop stereotyping. Not all gays are effeminate; and not all straights are masculine.
    Plus, straight guys who are comfortable with their sexuality tend to be more touchy-feely with guys they're close to. The moment you misinterpret that is the moment you lose a friend.


    I'll jump on this bandwagon...Paulflexes summed it up...Thread ended...LOL
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 10, 2010 4:32 PM GMT
    I don't think he's gay...but who knows...