Going to college but not living on residence= no social life?

  • Thegenuineart...

    Posts: 127

    May 09, 2010 8:02 PM GMT
    I'm going to school but since I applied late due to my smartness, I might have missed the boat on residence, Im somewhat shy, it takes me a while to get to trust people, so I'm wondering if living off campus in a new city will totally suck?

    anyone else done it? How did u meet new people?
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    May 09, 2010 8:21 PM GMT
    Living off-campus = win.
    Especially if you're serious enough into your studies that you don't want the interruption of drunken fratboy underwear parties in the halls.

    Instead, you can invite them to your place...off-campus...and...uh...enjoy your college years. icon_biggrin.gif
  • errol88

    Posts: 365

    May 09, 2010 8:34 PM GMT
    I'm actually going to disagree with you on this one, Paul. It's true, living off campus has some benefits (like those hook-ups you're referring to), but in my experience on campus advantages outweigh off campus ones.

    To the OP, I suggest you make friends with people in your class, your department, at the gym, or when you're out there playing sports (the volleyball courts are always good). You're going to make friends in a combination of places. It also depends on what your hall would be like. My freshman year we had a really close hall and almost everybody was friends; last year, however, I was in a suite with 10 guys and I talked to maybe two of them.

    Basically, make it work for you.
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    May 09, 2010 8:38 PM GMT
    yeah, i agree with erroll88, but also, like you mentioned that youre a bit shy it might prove hard to just kind of start talking to people in your classes and around campus but you just have to push through with it. what city are you moving to? if youre in a bigger city there are plenty of people to meet at bars and other places than on campus.
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    May 09, 2010 8:39 PM GMT
    I'm in my 2nd yr and I lived on campus in the dorms my first yr and let me say that living on campus is part of the fun college experience. There's always something going on and there's so many people to interact with and meet. Now, my school's a commuter school so there's only so many people who live on campus and I hate that. I think those people who commute to school are the one's missing out. I just like the idea of if I get bored or whatever, I could just take a step in the hallway and see someone I know. Or I could walk 45 seconds upstairs to my friend's room and start a wrestling match in the hallway. People always have their doors open and you just walk in and do whatever. The memories I have of my first year in the dorms will always be remembered.
    This year, I live in the suites (apartment like) but still on campus, and it sucks. Not social at all. It's basically living off campus. You feel so cut off from those in the dorms and where the funs at

    It's not to say living off campus can't be fun. I just think it's harder to meet people. Join a frat or club or something.

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    May 09, 2010 8:41 PM GMT
    I can't say it's anywhere near a big city, but I go to college and I still live at home. The campus is about 25 miles from my work/house, and I'm only there at night so the main way I meet people is in class. Other than that, I don't attend too many events on campus since I work all day.
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    May 09, 2010 8:42 PM GMT
    Going to college and living off campus gave me the freedom to have a lot of sex I couldn't have had sharing a room on campus.

    BIG PLUS
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    May 09, 2010 8:43 PM GMT
    England89 saidbut also, like you mentioned that youre a bit shy it might prove hard to just kind of start talking to people in your classes and around campus


    Not if you put in the effort to make friends, which is why I think people should live on campus, especially their first year. It's so much easier to meet people when you're surrounded by them and live with them
  • BIG_N_TALL

    Posts: 2190

    May 09, 2010 8:53 PM GMT
    BigOshawa saidI'm going to school but since I applied late due to my smartness, I might have missed the boat on residence, Im somewhat shy, it takes me a while to get to trust people, so I'm wondering if living off campus in a new city will totally suck?

    anyone else done it? How did u meet new people?


    It really is all about how you want to look at it. If you are like me - someone who desperately wanted a GPA above 3.5 - then it's a definite thumbs up. No crazies and 'roomies coming in drunk at 3am while you are studying for a quantum mechanics exam' sort of situation. As far as social life, I'd say maybe - but it depends on where you are at. I went to college in an urban area, so if I lived on or off campus... there was A LOT going on. I too tend to be on the shy side too, but not so much anymore since I changed majors... which mandated I be more assertive and "out going."

    As for trusting people - I am the same way, regardless of whether they lived on or off campus. I'd suggest finding a club or organization on or off campus that you are interested in. I think it was the best way I made friends outside of class. Some people in class I was interested in were like granite... and impossible to do anything with.
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    May 09, 2010 9:34 PM GMT
    Heya Buddy-
    Congrats on getting into college.

    To answer your questions well, I would much prefer having a conversation.
    Since we are not doing that, I think you should consider what some of the folks before have said are some the pros and cons of living off or on campus.

    In terms of meeting people, aside from study groups or sports, there are probably a ton of organizations, the student government, maybe the fitness center, where you can make friends iwth similar interests.

    There was no question, for me, that living in a dorm back in the day was awesome and I'm still friends with some of the people from my floor and building from freshman year. However, it was the bonds that I made from being involved in activities outside of class where I made most of my closest bonds.

    Good luck and have fun! You've got a lotta good responses here.

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    May 09, 2010 11:32 PM GMT
    Kudos to you for continuing your education!

    From my own experience, I really enjoyed my Freshman and Sophomore years living in the dorms. I had a great time, met and hung out with lots of great people, had lots of sex both on and off campus, and just really valued the close living experience.

    I've also enjoyed living off-campus for the very reasons that Paul mentions.

    That said, it might be challenging to go from living off campus to living in the dorms because once you've had your own space, living in close quarters can feel like a loss of privacy.

    Because you know you're shy, you're one step ahead in getting into a solution to make sure that you have as robust a social life as is satisfying for you. Make the effort to make friends who live in the dorms. They will probably end up inviting you over to study and hang out. You can then experience some of the life inside the dorms, while still having your own space to retreat to when you are feeling "full".

    Best wishes and Be Well!
    Alan
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    May 09, 2010 11:35 PM GMT
    That is one thing i regret from college.. not living in the dorms my first year. It's just something everyone should have a chance to do.
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    May 09, 2010 11:49 PM GMT
    Also, another option might be to live in off-campus housing WITH one or more roommates. You can then get some of the benefits of communal living (i.e. social skills development) while at the same time having your own private space.
  • Thegenuineart...

    Posts: 127

    May 10, 2010 12:03 AM GMT
    GAMRican saidAlso, another option might be to live in off-campus housing WITH one or more roommates. You can then get some of the benefits of communal living (i.e. social skills development) while at the same time having your own private space.


    Well thats looking like the most likely option right now. There's no way I could live by my self I would get way to bored/lonely. as for having my own private space thats almost a non issue since these dorms come with your own separate room

    But the trouble is finding roommates that I can get along with, more importantly that will be cool with me being gay
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    May 10, 2010 1:13 AM GMT
    BigOshawa saidI'm going to school but since I applied late due to my smartness, I might have missed the boat on residence, Im somewhat shy, it takes me a while to get to trust people, so I'm wondering if living off campus in a new city will totally suck?

    anyone else done it? How did u meet new people?


    living on campus is nice only if you (deep down) need a psuedo parent. Structured rules. Off campus works great for responsible and independent young adults.

    The most important thing to remember is that whether you live on or off campus you are part of the community. This means you can still use their gym, partake in social events, join a frat, student government. Your university social life is what you make it. Where you reside is a real minor part of it.

    Good luck, become and grow to be the person inside you.
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    May 10, 2010 1:19 AM GMT
    BigOshawa said
    GAMRican saidAlso, another option might be to live in off-campus housing WITH one or more roommates. You can then get some of the benefits of communal living (i.e. social skills development) while at the same time having your own private space.


    Well thats looking like the most likely option right now. There's no way I could live by my self I would get way to bored/lonely. as for having my own private space thats almost a non issue since these dorms come with your own separate room

    But the trouble is finding roommates that I can get along with, more importantly that will be cool with me being gay


    Dorms with "own separate room"? My how things have changed! This was unheard of when I was in college, and I went to a private college (University of Miami). I shared a room and we had communal shower and toilet facilities.

    Yeah, the finding folks that you can live with part can be challenging at first, but once you find folks who you can live with it's good from there. When I live with roommates (I have one now), I strive to be a "good neighbor". I keep the common area clean, I am careful to be considerate of noise and other disturbances, and I pull my fair share of the common living expenses. I've been in my current living situation for over a year now. When it's good, it's great. I've also been in roommate situations where it's bad. And, when it's bad, it's miserable. I've learned to spot and either bail out, or give notice, depending on who has the lease/deed.
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    May 10, 2010 1:53 AM GMT
    Ya I'd definitely prefer living on-campus but since that isn't an option for you, go the several roommates route. Since you won't be around lots of students (besides when you have class), I would look into clubs that your school might have or even inter-mural sports. That way you force yourself to be in social situations. Try to push yourself outside of your comfort zone. Goodluck!
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    May 10, 2010 1:57 AM GMT
    I do live in a dorm, but it's incredibly low-key, just 47 guys, all single rooms, so especially at first, I felt really secluded. Also, my dorm is at the wrong side of the campus (in terms of classes and my major). So, most of the time I spent outside my dorm, and I got to know people anyway- through classes, projects, activities, by reaching out. Doesn't matter that much where you live, only to some degree. Off-campus gives you the most freedom to shape your college life. Don't feel like you "should" be somewhere, look at where you are, and you'll feel better.
  • MSUBioNerd

    Posts: 1813

    May 10, 2010 2:11 AM GMT
    It's harder to get the traditional college experience if you don't live in a dorm your first year in particular, but that doesn't mean it can't be done. If you can't find campus housing, your best bet is to share an apartment -- or possibly even a house, depending on the location of your school -- with some other students, close to the campus. Even a 10 minute bus ride will put a damper on the spontaneous socializing.. If you're not on campus, you'll have to make more of an effort to both stay informed of campus events and take part in those activities -- noncampus housing means that there won't be fliers in the stairwell about every concert or big lecture or whatnot, so you'll need to keep informed of them yourself. Also, don't overlook the food aspect -- eating with a group of people regularly causes you to get to know them very quickly. Depending on the cost, you may want to consider a campus meal plan even if you are living off campus.
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    May 10, 2010 2:28 AM GMT
    This whole question seems hypothetical since you said you might have missed the boat on residence. If I recall my college daze the school would double and triple book residence halls knowing that roughly a quarter of the students would flunk out within the first semester.

    Otherwise don't worry too much—you'll meet people in class or go to the gym and meet friends or something.
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    May 10, 2010 2:32 AM GMT
    BigOshawa saidI'm going to school but since I applied late due to my smartness, I might have missed the boat on residence, Im somewhat shy, it takes me a while to get to trust people, so I'm wondering if living off campus in a new city will totally suck?

    anyone else done it? How did u meet new people?


    JOIN A FRAT!!!!!!!!!!!! =D
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    May 10, 2010 2:36 AM GMT
    JakeBenson said
    BigOshawa saidI'm going to school but since I applied late due to my smartness, I might have missed the boat on residence, Im somewhat shy, it takes me a while to get to trust people, so I'm wondering if living off campus in a new city will totally suck?

    anyone else done it? How did u meet new people?


    JOIN A FRAT!!!!!!!!!!!! =D


    You so smart. You must've gone to collage (sic) Mr. Benson.
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    May 10, 2010 2:39 AM GMT
    someguy said
    JakeBenson said
    BigOshawa saidI'm going to school but since I applied late due to my smartness, I might have missed the boat on residence, Im somewhat shy, it takes me a while to get to trust people, so I'm wondering if living off campus in a new city will totally suck?

    anyone else done it? How did u meet new people?


    JOIN A FRAT!!!!!!!!!!!! =D


    You so smart. You must've gone to collage (sic) Mr. Benson.


    I did in fact and graduated Cum Laude. And I'm going back for a PhD. Why do you ask?
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    May 10, 2010 2:40 AM GMT
    I always cum loud too! Ha ha.
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    May 10, 2010 3:26 AM GMT
    I have lived at home all the three years I've been in college and will do so until I graduate. It was kind of tough the first semester - or two - because we moved from Rhode Island to Arizona as a family after I graduated from high school so I did not know ONE person...but eventually I made friends and then it was all good.

    I guess it just depends. For me, it was that I didn't know ANYONE even outside of school, so...