MeOhMy saidI especially enjoy the title question, let's re-cap, shall we:
"How can I know if a straight guy is gay?"
Here's a hint: if he's straight, he's not gay.
this is annoying ... " I don't look gay " ... what, exactly, does that mean?
... because it feels like it assumes that there is a universal look to being homosexual. this goes along with the archaic words such as: straight-acting, masculine, discreet, etc.
gay is simply a part of who you are and directly means that you enjoy some sort of sexual intimacy with the same sex. it does not mean that there is a certain look or act to you. that
is both up to the person and
what kinds of behaviors they model.
gay has a look so long as you are abiding by such archaic terms.
however, there may be a gay feel - e.g., could that fellow be gay? something about him gives me this feeling
that he is.