22 y/o with a 44 y/o

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 11, 2010 9:07 PM GMT
    To clarify, I'm talking about a 22 year old guy dating (in a relationship) with a 44 year old man.


    What problem could you suspect to occur from just the age difference alone? I am very interested to see some of the replies.

    22 lives with roomies, hard time paying rent, lack of good friends, not going to college, part time job, claims to be mature but sometimes lacks in certain situations such fidelity.

    44 has his own house, has a 70k a year job, very few good friends, socially withdrawn, college dropout, very mature.

    Those are just some of the descriptors. What do you think?


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    May 11, 2010 9:28 PM GMT
    I think the success of the relationship has much to do with what the 44 y/o expects of the 22 y/o. If he's unrealistic in his expectations, he's likely to be disappointed.
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    May 11, 2010 9:57 PM GMT
    How about a 52 year old and a 26 year old?
    Want to compare notes in acouple weeks?
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    May 11, 2010 10:03 PM GMT
    Generalizations concerning dating with age gaps are generally bad. That being said, if anyone tries to tell you that 90 to 100% of the older man's interest in the younger is based off anything other than what the younger guy brings in physical terms for sex they are bald-faced liars.
  • sportsjockla

    Posts: 498

    May 11, 2010 10:07 PM GMT
    I went out with a 20 yo last week. He was very mature and very intelligent. We had no problem communicating at all. He was very well informed on politics, science, and he loved sports. He was in college working on his degree.

    I am 47 and I make a good living. I had no problem paying for dinner and whatever. The only thing I found missing was his life experiences. That really isn't a deal breaker, but it was missing.

    As long as 2 guys get along and have common interests, it shouldn't matter about the age. If the young guy is a sponge (and I've met a few at that age) then I'm sure the 44 yo knows it.
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    May 11, 2010 10:09 PM GMT
    If they can make it work good on them. I myself being in my 40s would never consider dating a guy in his 20s, it's just wrong. For one when I was in my 20s it was a tottaly diffrent world, we had just started to come out of the dark ages, and the generations before us really had done very little for the advancement of the homosexual youth to come after them; no it was left up to us to do that for them. In my 20s the world was engulfed with the gay plauge, and how in many ways the actions of many homosexuals took us back into the dark ages again.. Now 20 something years latter that is so much water under the bridge, and the way I used to look at the world as a 20 something, is not the way I look at it at 40 something, because of all the life experiences I have had, that a 20 something is way to young to of had yet. This is something that would never change. I'm also very secure with my age. I'm now at an age where a few years can make all the diffrence, lest not fool ourselves no matter how much care we take of ourselves, and all the insecurities that could come about from that too, as we go into our 50s, and our play thing is still in his 20s.

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    May 11, 2010 10:11 PM GMT
    70K AND a college drop out!?!
    What does he do? (If you don't mind)

    The only thing that comes to mind is retail store manager (best buy, target, etc.).... although most places require a bachelor's degree these days.
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    May 11, 2010 10:12 PM GMT
    sportsjockla saidI went out with a 20 yo last week. He was very mature and very intelligent. We had no problem communicating at all. He was very well informed on politics, science, and he loved sports. He was in college working on his degree.

    I am 47 and I make a good living. I had no problem paying for dinner and whatever. The only thing I found missing was his life experiences. That really isn't a deal breaker, but it was missing.

    As long as 2 guys get along and have common interests, it shouldn't matter about the age. If the young guy is a sponge (and I've met a few at that age) then I'm sure the 44 yo knows it.


    I agree here, some life experience may be lacking but not a deal breaker and if they're a sponge (looking to better relate to your wallet) you would know. You would have to be a fool not to. So the only question becomes how much sponging would the older guy tolerate. After all, they are both getting something from relationship.
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    May 11, 2010 10:13 PM GMT
    The pre-frontal lobe doesn’t mature till age 25…just say’n.
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    May 11, 2010 10:14 PM GMT
    the important part is that the 44 year old stand back and let the 22 be himself, lots of older men who couple up with younger especially that young try to change the kid (and that's effectively what they still are in many respects) into what they want instead of letting them grow and develop on there own terms, I think it's also important that the older person encourages them to do the right thing by the relationship..

    Eventually the older person will have to understand, kids are kids, they will be moody, stupid and completely oblivious to sooooooooo many things that they will think they should be paying attention too.

    Also the younger one needs to understand that just because his partner is older doesn't mean he's the boss and you will both need space and time to go do your own things.
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    May 11, 2010 10:14 PM GMT
    I am 19 and went on a date with a 30 year old and found myself to really enjoy myself. We ended up hanging out a couple other times and it was fun. Unfortunately, I had to head off to school. But I look forward to seeing him again when I come home for the summer. As long as we enjoy each other's company , then I don't see the problem.
  • bonedguys

    Posts: 2

    May 11, 2010 10:16 PM GMT
    I'm a 23 yo in a relationship with a 45 yo for 3 years. I don't think the age difference is what makes or breaks a relationship. I've definitely grown up from it and that has made us closer. I know I'm happier and a better person because of him. At the end of the day, it's still a relationship and you go through the same shit that every other couple does.

    Plus sex with older men is hot!
  • swimbikerun

    Posts: 2835

    May 11, 2010 10:35 PM GMT
    sportsjockla saidI went out with a 20 yo last week. He was very mature and very intelligent. We had no problem communicating at all. He was very well informed on politics, science, and he loved sports. He was in college working on his degree.

    I am 47 and I make a good living. I had no problem paying for dinner and whatever. The only thing I found missing was his life experiences. That really isn't a deal breaker, but it was missing.

    As long as 2 guys get along and have common interests, it shouldn't matter about the age. If the young guy is a sponge (and I've met a few at that age) then I'm sure the 44 yo knows it.
    And that's only the tip of the iceberg.
    It hurts when you want to plan fun things to do but one of your doesn't have the time or money.
    And life experiences simply make for a deeper connection in the long run.
    It is too easy to blame a potential falling out on one or the other simply for reasons of age however.
    But hey as long as it is working I wish them happiness! Isn't there enough pain and sadness already in the world to wish otherwise?
  • sportsjockla

    Posts: 498

    May 11, 2010 10:40 PM GMT
    I do prefer guys 30+, but that doesn't mean I wont go out with someone in their early 20's again. I seem to have more guys that are in their early 20's and younger that are attracted to me.
  • JayDT

    Posts: 390

    May 11, 2010 10:41 PM GMT
    Look they are both from different era's and potentially have different styles and interests partially due to that. On top of that the 22 year old has not lived his life yet. He still has a ton of growing and learning to do, which comes from just every day living. Unless they are looking for a parisytic sort or relationship, both financially and emotionally, this is doomed. Can be still be a good experience for them both. SURE! But they aren't very likely to be together for the long run. Does it happen. Yes it does. But what is the nature of that sort of relationship? Is the healthy give and take that you would expect and want to see? Probably not.
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    May 11, 2010 11:09 PM GMT
    I'm 22 and dating a 36yo...

    I think that if both people are looking for the same or similar things out of life while dating, it can work. I tried being friends with him at first because I never saw myself with someone even 5yrs older, but as I got to know him, I found things in him that I've always wanted in a guy but never expected to find. I didn't want to miss out on someone special, so I went after him icon_twisted.gif

    I think, at times, I feel a little insecure about my lack of life experiences but at the same time, dating this guy makes me strive for success. I'm a competitive person icon_lol.gif

    I think that as long as both are seen as equal and both parties have good intentions, a relationship can work icon_biggrin.gif
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    May 11, 2010 11:25 PM GMT
    The only issue I have with younger guys is their seemingly endless sexual desire.

    When I'm finished, I want to sleep, or eat. The last thing I want to do is continue to have more sex.
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    May 11, 2010 11:27 PM GMT
    It depends on where you are in life - just because an older guy make a good salary with a stable job/house doesn't mean he's completely happy - same with the younger guy, he's struggling but it's common, it is his life experiences - Building a strong Relationship usually is a series of compromise and communications. As time go on, if you or he can stand and compromise with each other without tearing each other apart (emotionally and physically); then I'd say doesn't matter the age, hang on to him if you can.
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    May 11, 2010 11:53 PM GMT
    22 dating a 33, it's not a big deal age has NEVER been an issue.

    Except that I'm way attracted to 30+ men i suppose.. meh icon_razz.gif Still we strive to be equal in all things - just like any relationship. Age dun madder
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    May 11, 2010 11:57 PM GMT
    to each his own.
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    May 12, 2010 12:08 AM GMT
    actually, i don't think age is all that much of a problem any more. i'm older but i don't feel like i thought i would when i would get to this age. i have no idea what my parents thought about when they were my current age, but they sure as hell didn't live the kind of life i'm living.

    i think i'm much "younger" than they were. i think 45-50 or even 55-60 isn't what it was. somehow i think we are all much younger than our parents...if that makes any sense at all.

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    May 12, 2010 12:10 AM GMT
    im 25 and id date a 44 year old only if he has a nice body
  • laguna07

    Posts: 124

    May 12, 2010 12:12 AM GMT
    so...SOULASPHYX...are we to assume you are the 22-year-old? If your heart and brain both say yes, then go for it! It doesn't matter what any other people here say, you have to do what you think is right for you. Like anything else you will find people with different opinions...there is no right or wrong answer that applies to everyone. We are all different and attracted to other people for reasons that many times we can never reconcile. Whether it be gender, appearance, race, age...we all have different needs and different attractions. The only way you know if it seems to make sense is give it a try. Don't worry about what anyone else thinks!
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    May 12, 2010 12:14 AM GMT
    Soulasphyx saidTo clarify, I'm talking about a 22 year old guy dating (in a relationship) with a 44 year old man.


    What problem could you suspect to occur from just the age difference alone? I am very interested to see some of the replies.

    22 lives with roomies, hard time paying rent, lack of good friends, not going to college, part time job, claims to be mature but sometimes lacks in certain situations such fidelity.

    44 has his own house, has a 70k a year job, very few good friends, socially withdrawn, college dropout, very mature.

    Those are just some of the descriptors. What do you think?


    From that description, it sounds more like a sugar-daddy/boy combo rather than a true relationship built on love and mutual respect.

    In other words, I don't think it will last. But I have been wrong before, so only time will tell.
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    May 12, 2010 12:31 AM GMT
    1. They don't have the same cultural references. A generation gap like that could lead to some serious discrepancies in humor and relating in general.

    2. Add ten years. I wonder if the 22 year old (then 32) will still be interested in someone who's practically a senior citizen.

    3. Mooching. The older breadwinner getting sick of his partner sucking all of his hard earned resources.