Kinda confused about him

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    May 12, 2010 4:21 AM GMT
    Whats up guys?

    First post, it's all good right?

    Alright, so here's the deal. Up until now, I've identified myself as bi-curious. Leaning more towards being flat out bi, which is probably safe to say.

    Anyways, I'm a senior in High School, yeahh years almost over. I met this guy about a month ago, and he's a sophomore, 20, not out, in college currently.

    We've hung out quite a few times now, I've slept over at his place, and yeah we've messed around. He went out of town last weekend, with one of his friends, whose a girl if that matters, and hit up gay bars. Anyways, that's all cool. So, a few days ago we were texting about it, and I was just like.. So how many guys did you sleep with? He said three, and then I replied back "alright, i'm just a random hookup too then?", and right after, like seconds after I sent that, he said he was just kidding.

    After he got my message, he said he should have never slept with me, because he never does that without commitment. He also says that he sees us being really good friends, but we wont ever have commitment because I'm still in high school?

    I'm really just confused about the whole situation. I've never fallen for a guy before, and even though I haven't known him for long, I really kind of am into him.

    He leaves next week for California where he's going to be there until fall.

    What should I do? Is there any hope we'll ever be more? Should I just forget about him? Continue to talk to him and be "really good friends"?

    Please help me out guys, I'm totally lost. I never thought I'd say this in my life, but honestly he's the first thing I think about in the morning, and the last thing I think about at night.
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    May 12, 2010 5:04 AM GMT
    Ugh. I think you should now back away from this guy and reassess the situation. Perhaps he backtracked as soon as he found you to be upset with his remark. Now he's told you he shouldn't have slept with you and given you reasons why. They're his reasons, not yours. You have no control over them, so...

    I think the delivery of those reasons wasn't well put. Stating he only likes to sleep with someone with a commitment first, and then telling you you're too young to make a commitment (the high school thing) was a bit crass. But those are his facts and I'd go with that. Walk on young guy because the world is this huge panorama waiting for you just over the next hill. If you can feel what you feel with someone who waffled this way, just think what it could be like with someone who reflects what you feel right back at you!

    -Doug of meninlove
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    May 12, 2010 5:23 AM GMT
    It's gonna be tough. I still remember that angst of my first crush, an older guy who eventually dropped me because he figured it would never work with our age difference. I was beside myself for weeks wondering where is he, what's he doing, who's he seeing , the whole enchilada.. Took a long long time to get over him but I did. Then a few years later I'm was living with my partner thousands of miles away and he calls in tears regretting his mistake. Oh well.

    So anyways,, there are plenty of other guys out there, not just him, you'll get over him eventually like I did. It just hurts for awhile.
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    May 12, 2010 5:51 AM GMT
    Listen to the meninlove. The're right on the money!

    You'll meet so many other guys as you go through the daily wonder that is just plain living. And, like beneful1 said, it's going to knock your socks off when you meet that guy who feels the same way as you.

    Until then, just chalk it up to experience and enjoy the ride.

    On a more humorous note, just remember that "men are like busses, if you miss one...just wait a while and another will come along." haha!

    Also, consider journaling about your thoughts and experiences. Also note any "lessons learned" like "what would I do the next time that I didn't do this time", and "what would I not do next time that I did this time". I just keep a running "Word" document (password protected an in an encrypted "vault"). I look back on my journal and I learn so much from it. I also see how much I've learned since.

    Enjoy your journey dude! The brilliance and wonderment of it is just beginning for you!

    Aloha and Be Well!
    Alan
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    May 12, 2010 6:16 AM GMT
    here is a tip for you... if you ask a guy you have slept with how many he did on a trip away and he tell you, you don't say some stupid remark in return you dim witted troll doll... you say "awesome, totally jealous, wish I could have gone instead" or something to that effect...

    Got that? good.. now go back to playing with your tonka trucks and Malibu barbie
  • LatinUomo

    Posts: 42

    May 12, 2010 3:04 PM GMT
    lilTanker saidhere is a tip for you... if you ask a guy you have slept with how many he did on a trip away and he tell you, you don't say some stupid remark in return you dim witted troll doll... you say "awesome, totally jealous, wish I could have gone instead" or something to that effect...

    Got that? good.. now go back to playing with your tonka trucks and Malibu barbie



    A bit harsh...but well said!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 12, 2010 3:04 PM GMT
    LOL.

    School boy has a crush.
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    May 14, 2010 4:55 AM GMT
    ahhh I know I sound like a 12 year old girl.

    I for real can't get over him, I'm not sure if I really want to either icon_sad.gif

    i've never felt this way about someone before, not even my past girlfriends, as bad as that sounds.
  • pelotudo87

    Posts: 225

    May 14, 2010 5:02 AM GMT
    I don't know him in real life, but honestly, sounds like he may have used you a little bit...

    I saw move on. You're still in high school (hey I'm only 22 so I remember what it was like) and I know it feels like you will never find another guy like him...but once you go on with your life and meet new people, you will realize how much opportunity there is in the world to experience new things...

    Just say it was a high school learning experience and move on...
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    May 14, 2010 5:05 AM GMT
    soccerstud saidahhh I know I sound like a 12 year old girl.

    I for real can't get over him, I'm not sure if I really want to either icon_sad.gif

    i've never felt this way about someone before, not even my past girlfriends, as bad as that sounds.


    Homie, I don't know many of us that has not gone through this: Fallen for a guy before it even got to make it to "relationship" status and it doesn't work out...the worst part about it is that you kinda blame yourself because you think "If I never sent those text messages, none of this would be happening." Which may or may not be true, best thing to do is accept things the way they are and just take things one day at a time. Look at it like this, its HIS loss...Not to say that you get a huge ego, just recognize your own self worth. There are plenty of other guys out there that may be more compatible, attractive, etc...
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    May 14, 2010 5:08 AM GMT
    soccerstud saidahhh I know I sound like a 12 year old girl.

    I for real can't get over him, I'm not sure if I really want to either icon_sad.gif

    i've never felt this way about someone before, not even my past girlfriends, as bad as that sounds.


    lol, well if you don't want to get over him, then try pursue it. We're always around if you need.

    -Doug and Bill
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    May 14, 2010 5:08 AM GMT
    In the fullness of time, more shall be revealed. You'll know what to do. Just wait and see.
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    May 14, 2010 5:14 AM GMT
    pelotudo87 saidI don't know him in real life, but honestly, sounds like he may have used you a little bit...



    I was thinking that as well, but then I was doubting that. The first night I stayed over at his apartment, prior we were at a party, and when we were just getting ready to go to sleep, we started messing around. I felt like I was on a boat, little too much to drink, and I was like I need to just sleep, and he was totally cool about it, and let me be.

    We've hung out before, went out to eat, hit up starbucks, without doing anything sexually, and I thought we had some pretty good conversations.

    Could it be he's just preoccupied about moving next week for the summer, it's truly a big deal for him, and I should just be more understanding??, and he had finals this week.

    Maybe its just that I've never fallen for a guy before, and I'm just getting to know my true self?

    Ahh this is some crazy stuff.