What is the secret to being a GREAT top?


  • May 13, 2010 7:18 AM GMT
    So I just met this really cute little gay guy (a pocket gay) and I'm pretty certain he's a bottom. I've only topped once before but I think I would enjoy topping more than bottoming (the whole worrying about anal hygiene thing really freaks me out).

    So anyway, I always hear people on forums saying, "I love it when a top knows what to do." But they never specify just what that top is doing that is so great! I know there's the whole massaging of the prostate thing, but if you're a top can you really feel the prostate that well with your dick? I mean, let's get super specific here guys and let me know exactly what a great top does. Is it a certain fuck stroke, is it just being patient with you, is it more psychological things he does like acting dominant? What the hell makes a great top?
  • Kage

    Posts: 707

    May 13, 2010 8:30 AM GMT
    This is a dificult one, as there is nothing specific that I can advise you on.
    There is really only one thing you have to keep in mind in order to be a great top, the rest is improvisation and dependent on the bottom.

    I am not a fleshlight, I'm a person.icon_wink.gif



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    May 13, 2010 9:08 AM GMT
    confidence... if your going to fuck him then damn well fuck him don't ask every 20 seconds "is that okay" or "does that hurt" you'll know pretty soon if it's okay or if it hurts cause he is either gonna squeal for you or at you.
  • Medic911

    Posts: 152

    May 13, 2010 2:33 PM GMT
    Having a connection with the person makes everything better. It's hard to have bad sex when you're looking up and thinking "God, I love this man". icon_biggrin.gif
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    May 13, 2010 2:33 PM GMT
    the secret is being a good bottom too!
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    May 13, 2010 3:14 PM GMT


    Here's my technique

    Passionate, Dominate, Lovemaking or fucking. Overwhelming your bttms senses of lust will make him wanna busticon_lol.gif
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    May 13, 2010 3:32 PM GMT
    I think this issue is more a natural thing than a made one. You can't become a Great top by listening to bottoms. Either you are a Great Top or you Aren'ticon_razz.gif It's like bottoms there are Bad bottoms and Great bottoms.
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    May 13, 2010 3:33 PM GMT
    Hillie said

    Here's my technique

    Passionate, Dominate, Lovemaking or fucking. Overwhelming your bttms senses of lust will make him wanna busticon_lol.gif


    Yea this! Mix it up by going slow and affectionate and passionate and then flip him over, lift his legs and start going to town aggressively... then switch back.

  • JayDT

    Posts: 390

    May 13, 2010 5:13 PM GMT
    I hate a guy who just pounds, look if I wanted to fuck a jack hammer or a hamster on crack, I would. But that's just me. Everyone likes it differently. What one person says is a great top is another guys nightmare of a top. When I am topping I like to get a clue what he likes based on the sounds he's making during fore play and sex. For me it's a full body experience. When I'm bottoming one of my common things I tell my tops is to move their hips, not their full body; grind the cock into like you're grinding on the dance floor.
  • iHavok

    Posts: 1477

    May 13, 2010 5:18 PM GMT
    The secret to being a GREAT top is paying attention to your bottom.
    Listen to his breathing, be aware of how he's moving his body, facial expressions, his hard on, anything that gives u subtle clues as to how you are doing, and adjust accordingly.

    No one technique works well for everyone, but if you pay attention you will do well and have fun.
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    May 13, 2010 5:39 PM GMT
    Take some salsa lessons heheh, it's all in the hips
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    May 13, 2010 6:03 PM GMT
    Get keyed into how your bottom is feeling. If he is active and able to receive you in a passionate way you will know by instinct what to do.

    If he goes into his own world and just wants to get plugged and simply wants a machine he ain't a good bottom....so he's no help to you......except if both of you want to recreate a souless scene from a porn flick.

    There is a differnce between hot fucking and hot lovemaking.icon_biggrin.gif

    When both of you are using all your body parts AND emotions and the mind you will remember the difference between just cumming and having a full orgasm that leaves you smiling for a long time.

    As I recently learned, bottoms call the shots and have a lot of power and its wonderful.
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    May 13, 2010 7:19 PM GMT
    Use your palms, fingers and your tongue as well as your dick and pay attention to what the bottom is telling you, in words, sounds and body language. It sounds like you are at least familiar with this guy, so a back alley pounding may not be your correct response, however, that may be just what he wants. Probe around his body and find out where his responses are the most pleasurable. A lot of bottoms are very sensitive in the small area between their balls and hole.

    I like to straddle a guys ears with my knees so he can participate in sucking my balls and cock while I lift up his legs and give him a good probing with my tongue and fingers. Use your fingers to open him up and your tongue to make him wet. After he is moaning, then you can turn him or change positions. This gives you a chance to put on a condom.

    While you are fucking him, change the angle that your cock is pistoning. Remember that his prostate is located on the other side of his rectum wall closer to his balls than his back and that tender spot is just inside. If you are fucking him from behind and you are fucking at an upward angle then occasionally change your angle more to a downwards angle. This will then put more pressure on that sensitive spot but do not do it too much or he may cum to quickly. You want it to last so learn to back off from fucking him hard and use just the tip of your cock to probe just inside for a while, then fuck him again using the entire length of your cock.

    You are making love to this man, If you are not giving him pleasure than you are a lousy fuck.
  • BlackBeltGuy

    Posts: 2609

    May 13, 2010 7:24 PM GMT
    JayDT saidI hate a guy who just pounds, look if I wanted to fuck a jack hammer or a hamster on crack, I would. But that's just me. Everyone likes it differently. What one person says is a great top is another guys nightmare of a top. When I am topping I like to get a clue what he likes based on the sounds he's making during fore play and sex. For me it's a full body experience. When I'm bottoming one of my common things I tell my tops is to move their hips, not their full body; grind the cock into like you're grinding on the dance floor.


    exactly what jay said.
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    May 13, 2010 7:47 PM GMT
    I'm a total bottom. Good tops start slow and when the bottom starts to relax picks up speed. Also, vary speed, intensity, and position often. A good top can control when they cum and is able to last a long time.

    My basic complaint with tops is those that attack me like they are are a teenage boy seeing pussy for the first time. I also get a lot of tops who stick their dick in my hole and cum after a minute or two. I like my nipples played with but some dudes will bite the shit out of them, and that just kills it for me. I also really hate when im kissing a dude and he bites down viciously hard on my lip or tongue.

    In general, I go for tops that have a lot of experience. The younger dudes or closeted guys are the ones who usually fail at topping.
  • DarkSensation

    Posts: 715

    May 14, 2010 3:11 AM GMT
    Having a Huge Dick always Help icon_wink.gif...Most importantly, How easily Hard can the Tops Get and how long can They

    stay Hard.....Very Vital icon_lol.gificon_biggrin.gif
  • mctrinh84

    Posts: 331

    May 14, 2010 5:43 AM GMT
    push it hard and pull it softer! lolz
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    May 14, 2010 5:46 AM GMT
    lilTanker saidconfidence... if your going to fuck him then damn well fuck him don't ask every 20 seconds "is that okay" or "does that hurt" you'll know pretty soon if it's okay or if it hurts cause he is either gonna squeal for you or at you.



    Amen.
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    May 14, 2010 5:49 AM GMT
    I have a question for tops! So I've topped before, and the sensation felt like nothing...there was no way it was going to get me off. It felt like I was sliding my penis into nothing..... Does this happen to anyone else?
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    May 14, 2010 5:50 AM GMT
    guy94hg59 saidI have a question for tops! So I've topped before, and the sensation felt like nothing...there was no way it was going to get me off. It felt like I was sliding my penis into nothing..... Does this happen to anyone else?


    i felt the same way when my ex gave me bj's....just nothing..
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    May 14, 2010 5:52 AM GMT
    Being able to enthusiastically eat ass for and hour before penetration. That's the only benchmark I go by.
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    May 14, 2010 5:52 AM GMT
    sublstyley said
    guy94hg59 saidI have a question for tops! So I've topped before, and the sensation felt like nothing...there was no way it was going to get me off. It felt like I was sliding my penis into nothing..... Does this happen to anyone else?


    i felt the same way when my ex gave me bj's....just nothing..


    The bj's I've had are really awfull......teeth are not a good thing down there.
  • Kage

    Posts: 707

    May 14, 2010 8:15 AM GMT
    KissingPro saidGet keyed into how your bottom is feeling. If he is active and able to receive you in a passionate way you will know by instinct what to do.

    If he goes into his own world and just wants to get plugged and simply wants a machine he ain't a good bottom....so he's no help to you......except if both of you want to recreate a souless scene from a porn flick.

    There is a differnce between hot fucking and hot lovemaking.icon_biggrin.gif

    When both of you are using all your body parts AND emotions and the mind you will remember the difference between just cumming and having a full orgasm that leaves you smiling for a long time.

    As I recently learned, bottoms call the shots and have a lot of power and its wonderful.


    Well put.
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    May 14, 2010 8:26 AM GMT
    guy94hg59 said
    sublstyley said
    guy94hg59 saidI have a question for tops! So I've topped before, and the sensation felt like nothing...there was no way it was going to get me off. It felt like I was sliding my penis into nothing..... Does this happen to anyone else?


    i felt the same way when my ex gave me bj's....just nothing..


    The bj's I've had are really awfull......teeth are not a good thing down there.


    yeah, that and ive just never had one that has wowed me.. its like.."...okay..thanks..for that.." haha.
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    May 14, 2010 8:57 AM GMT
    Pay attention to your bottom. Listen to the sounds that are being made and don't just make it about you. Make it about him. If you do that he'll be eager to please.

    There is no one technique that will guarantee you success but it really helps if you switch your positions up and your pace. Know how to tease, be playful, be dominating, be submissive (some bottoms like to be in control) and above all show confidence in your ability.