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So boys I am NEW here. Just wanted to ask a few questions then just poof, disappear. Not really just need supportive help.

My life is a mess. No job, lover is tired of supporting an aging corpse of 52, the same old shit goes on did did did I say I am old . THat is like saying you are double used goods, so so sad.

Okay okay, let me be a man, I love my spouse, I truely do, but I hate myself. Like he takes care of ME. I hate it.

He gives, and he gives, shouldn't I give back. Oh I am so whacked.

Bad upbringing, I don't know.

My question is this a 53 year old man goes to cooking school to learn to be a chef. A chef's job take several years. So this 53 year old aims at union jobs, you know old age homes, and schools SAFE jobs.

But the 53 year old feels very guilty letting the 62 year old care for him.

WHAT? What should I do. I am so lost I love this man, but he will need me to take care of him in the later years, and I want to do that but is going back to school at my age just a silly dream?

It would take a year of financial struggle and then the hope of getting a union paid job or self employment to get finacially set. Am I being an ass?

Should I just get any job and take year by year?

I am so confused by ... the hype 'passion' do a job you love, do you understand what I am saying.

H E L P please.