social problems.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 15, 2010 12:43 PM GMT
    what is social stress?what is social anxiety?what is shyness?what is the
    difference between shyness & social anxeity disorder?how can you tell if
    you have a social anxiety disorder or just shyness?i'm feel very uncomfort
    able strangers these days.i have piss shy too.i can't piss in fornt of others
    at all.what is social phobia?what causes piss shyness?how can i overcome
    my piss shyness as a gay single man?how can i overcome my own shyness as a gay single man?
  • Midas426

    Posts: 966

    May 16, 2010 5:09 PM GMT
    All your questions seem to boil down to being shy.

    I'm a shy guy myself and honestly I don't think you ever truly overcome it. I still get nervous whenever I have to give presentations at work or anything that puts me in the spotlight. I tend to avoid confrontation.

    Of course there are times when you can't avoid being in the spotlight or being confrontational.

    For me I use the following to diffuse my shyness:

    1) Picture everyone naked.
    2) Self-deprecation
    3) Focus on something that makes me feel happy (it could be a funny joke you heard, a moment you shared with a friend, etc.)

    I had an awkward moment last night during a bowling final where none of my team showed up and nobody bothered to tell me. I'm not the captain and I was a regular for the team. It was embarrassing as hell bowling against a full team and knowing that my scores wouldn't count. But I endeared myself to the other team so they took pity on me by telling corny antedotes about myself and doing the "woe is me, I was abandoned by my team" act. And I felt better when I texted a friend to tell him about the situation.

    Before I knew it, the evening was done and thankfully I saved face (even if folks in the next lanes were talking about me. What I don't know won't kill me...*LOL*).

    Good ol wikipedia has some good info on SAD:

    "Physical symptoms often accompanying social anxiety disorder include excessive blushing, sweating (hyperhidrosis), trembling, palpitations, nausea, and stammering." (I guess if you feel any of those or feel like a panic attack is coming, then it may be SAD.)

    I don't know if my yammerings made any sense but know that you're not alone with being shy in social situations. I hope you can find your own coping mechanisms in dealing with it.
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    Jun 23, 2010 8:31 PM GMT
    I am scared to death of the bathroom. But I still force myself to go in even though I don't want to. I am afraid someone is going to think I am going to check them out seen I am open about my sexuality. If you spend a ton of time online and never get out into family and friend events you might have social phobia. I am pretty sure I had some of these things as well. I am just a really introverted person.
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    Jun 24, 2010 3:54 AM GMT
    JacobWoods saidI am just a really introverted person.

    Would you believe I am, too? I've been painfully shy all my life. Here's what I've done to overcome it:

    First, I joined the Army (for different reasons than we're discussing here). I was quickly chosen to be a leader, and forced to publicly address groups of soldiers. It helps when you are ordered to do something, upon pain of reprimand and even punishment if you fail, and you don't have any other option. It's a sink-or-swim situation.

    But even then, I remained shy in my private life. It wasn't until I came out that I learned something new to overcome my social timidity.

    My second tactic was to use other guys as my crutch, men who were social butterflies. I avoided dating guys who were wallflowers like me, but instead chose the extroverts, hoping they might be interested in me, though many were not.

    Because I hold that the best relationships aren't about copying each other, but in complimenting. The ideal partnership, in my view, is not just about having similar interests, but in possessing dissimilar abilities, that nevertheless compliment each other.

    So that you should both enjoy the same TV shows, and movies, and music, and food, etc, for the most part, but you each have unique abilities you bring with you. Meaning that together you make a team, that possesses the whole spectrum of skills necessary to confront life in our modern world.

    I truly believe that in gay relationships, the sum is greater than the parts. And that is the basis for a lasting & stable partnership.

    So that if you are prone to social shortcomings, like me, then you find a guy who is a social tiger. And ideally, that you bring some things to the relationship that he lacks. This is what makes you a team, this is what makes you partners. Mutual interdependence is not a bad thing, in my view, but rather it's the foundation for a lasting and loving relationship.